A year

[shortstack016]

It has now been a year since I first started recovery and I'm really glad, but when summer comes around I'm starting to feel like crap because I can't get back into my exercising habits and I do physic updates every day in front of the mirror and I hate what I see. Is it normal to want to go back to not eating or wanting to throw up every time you eat anything???

[lillyofthevalley37]

It's normal yes but to actually follow through with it would mean throwing away a year's hard work on your part and that would be a tragedy - stick to your recovery don't throw it all away

[shortstack016 in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

Thank you. You're so right. It will be hard but I will keep trying.

[Audash]

I feel the same... I'm more exhauted than before when i try to work out

Before i was able to jump out of bed and do a footing at 4.30am and be at work at 6am but now... Have you overshoot your weight too ?

[shortstack016 in reply to Audash]

I used to be able to do that too. I havent been able to reach the goal I wanted to cause Im so insecure about my body and I dont like what I see when I look in the mirror. So then that makes me want to just throw all my hard work away through starvation again or just throwing it up. I try not to feel guilty about the food I eat and just get tp my goal by I always think about going back to how I used to be.

[crazycrossstitcher]

The anorexic thoughts do not leave you immediately - so yes that's what we all experience. Its really hard to switch the voice off - but you've done a year so fantastic and keep going

[shortstack016 in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Its been difficult but Ive been able to surpress the urge but its so difficult to keep it under control and it means a lot that Im not alone in this. Thank you so much.

[SuZQ154]

I understand. I have been there many times, and sometimes I have slipped. The further into recovery, the easier it has become. Changing our thinking helps change our behaviors. I used to tell myself, "You will never be able to conquer this." Now, I tell myself, "You can do this." Also, I say, "HALT! Am I H-hungry, A-angry, L-lonely, or T-tired?" Now,...sometimes, I eat eat but eat healthy food; sometimes, I call a friend or pray; sometimes, I read my Bible or go exercise; sometimes, I take a nap. And, in all cases, I tell myself, "You are worthy, enough, and loved." It's helped. Hope this helps you. Again, I understand!

[shortstack016 in reply to SuZQ154]

Thank you so much for sharing this with me. Honestly it did help a little bit so thank you so much!😁😊☺

[SuZQ154 in reply to shortstack016]

So glad to hear this! I shared this again today with someone and reminded myself to use it too For me today it was for negative thinking and being lazy Hope you are doing well, friend.