Slipping backwards again

[13kittycat]

So since March I’ve been relatively stable and doing well. Now I find myself starting to slip back into old habits. I just started my recovery journey in November and I find myself wanting to give up. I’m not underweight. I fired my first dietician because she was awful(therapist agreed). I called two others my therapist recommended and neither have made much of a move to schedule me.

Reasons for slipping: stress, busy schedule, nice weather(means i’m more apt to be outside exercising/walking my dog), family conflict—go for run/walk to get away from the house for a bit.

So I find myself restricting again and exercising to cope and I know it’s not good but i’m also afraid to tell my therapist. Her condition to keep working with me was that I couldn’t lose anymore weight. That at minimum I had to maintain and I’m not doing that anymore. I’m afraid I’ll be forced to gain too much at a higher level of care and be the largest person there.

[Fluffymum]

Hi kittycat,

Well done on your progress since November, and recognising that you are faltering.

Remember your therapist is there to support you. If there are issues that are triggering a return to your restricting behaviour you should discuss them with the therapist.

Try to remember your coping strategies and that Food Is your medicine.

Stay strong

[crazycrossstitcher]

Great you recognise that you are slipping - and the reasons behind this. You really do need to talk to your therapist - from experience hiding struggles isn't the answer however scary it is to tell the truth. ABC have a support line and befrienders - so do try that avenue as I found them really helpful to me - they also have a dietician who might be able to give you some help too - don't give up - recovery is hard but worthwhile journey.

[13kittycat]

Thanks, I ended up missing my therapy appointment this week(long story:live at home for grad school mom has rages and I have to walk on egg shells when they happen) I couldn’t leave the house. So she called me got the lowdown. I didn’t even have to bring it up, she asked and I was honest about slipping back into exercising more and not eating again.

She understood why with the increased conflict (my mother has a laundry list of unaddressed mental health issues on top of her own ED )as I’m usually the target of her anger and abuse and it’s been bad this last week or so. Making my plans to move out as soon as I graduate next May and taking my dog with me. It’s hard having a mother who competes with you and tries to fit into your clothes when you’re trying to recover and then also goes bonkers on you at the drop of a hat. She has no memory of the abuse later so I can’t even confront her about it to change her ways.