Recovering still

[Rubie1996]

I've realised I've put more weight on (again I won't say how much cause I know from personal experience it can be a trigger) and I feel so sad. I thought I was getting better and now I feel so bad like gross... I have not been sleeping like hardly at all and feel like a zombie throughout the day I spoke with my outpatient support about this and of natural methods don't work I want to try sleeping tablets. I feel like now I've seen I've gone up a bit that it'll push me back again a bit... But I'm determined this won't be the case because I've been terrified of the affect being underweight is having on my fertility.

Sorry for the long post

💓

[crazycrossstitcher]

Keep persevering - I know how lack of sleep can really get you down - but battle through - my sleep improved once my weight level went up to a "reasonably normal" level - so I do know just how hard that in between stage can be - but keep going - you know your goal - full health - so don't loose the focus. Good luck. My prayers re with you.

[Prettythings1]

Hi Rubie you sound like your doing the right things by contacting outpatient support!

Your on the right track!

Fertility is important Im pregnant now its wonderful if it helps have that as s goal x

[windupbird in reply to Prettythings1]

Congratulations!

[windupbird]

Having the motivation of fertility is good, it kicked my ass right into gear, but it can be so stressful. It's a huge weight of guilt and anxiety.

Recovery isn't just about recovering in physical health, it's about mental health too - changing the way we think and feel about weight and eating. Which in my experience so far is a million times harder. It's tempting to 'cheat' and reach a healthier weight without doing anything about my relationship with ED. But this won't work long term. As well as the motivation of being physically healthy I want to not be trapped by ED for the rest of my life, I want to end the depression and anxiety it exacerbates. I'm motivated by being mentally healthy.

It's so important to work on thoughts and emotions as well as behaviours. It's expected to feel sad and distressed by changing behaviour/weight, but it's an opportunity to recognise what's going on in your mind and start taking steps to deal with it. Because of this I personally feel like sleeping pills won't be much help in the long run, but that is a choice very personal to you and your situation.