really cant cope with it anymore!!

[Sarah2484]

Hi everyone,

i really dont know what to do anymore, i am making my self feel so ill but i cant stop it. I have been taking 10-12 laxatives a day, using diuretics, slimming tablets and making myself sick. I have weeks where i binge all the time and last week i starved myself for 4 days, hardly drunk anything wither and lost 11 pounds on day 4. I lost control then and started binge eating again.

I take loads of caffeine tablets every day to try and suppress my appetite and make me feel like i have some energy. I constantly think about ways i can hurt myself and feel so disgusting in my own body.

I have been assessed and told that i have Bulimia again and that i am on a waiting list for CBT but that was about 5 weeks ago.

I just cant deal with this anymore. I wish i could eat normally and feel happy with my weight and size but i cant. I am overweight and do need to lose some badly.

I feel so depressed and i am struggling with work and also i am a mum to two girls age 5 and 7. I really don't know what to do. I hate living like this and lying to all my family again.

If anyone has any ideas of how you cope with it i would be really grateful to hear them.

thanks