Bulimia and a psychological dependence?

Hi everyone, thought I'd give this a go before I took it to the drs for a psych referral.

I've had issues with binge eating since I was a child. I've no idea why. I was not deprived of anything it was the usual scenario. Treats were allowed after dinner was eaten, I'd get a penguin in my lunchbox etc. So no real reason why but I took to taking biscuits and hiding them in my dressing gown before bed and its escalated from there. I have battled with my weight. fluctuating on occasion but generally being on the larger side.

I feel like I'm a compulsive eater. If I see it and want it I will eat it. Very rarely I can control this and I've no idea why. I do hide food and I will cram food in when I think no one is looking. I will eat when I feel low and the bingeing will most likely be followed by vomiting. It was a regular occurrence in my teens and now I have regularly started again, I'm 29.

I have hypothyroidism which puts some strain on my willpower. I managed to give up smoking last year too but even that's on my mind a lot at the moment. I just don't know what I need to uncover to be able to beat this bingeing. If it's a psychological issue do I need a therapist or can I work it out myself? I don't really know where to start but I know I need to. Where did this dependence come from? I didn't have a bad upbringing really so why did it start? I certainly suffered from some mental instability as I recall thoughts and feelings of hurting myself as a result of being told off. Sounds a bit drastic I know but perhaps I'm just prone to over sensitivity. Would do I do about it?

I'm aware of the consequence of induced vomiting and so need to steer off this path as soon as really. Does anyone else have a similar story or any guidance they can share?

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Hello Demtheus If you can afford a therapist, definitely, head off down that path. Start with your normal DR, as they will have all your personal medical history they can give you the best referral for you personally. Whether people can heal there personal hurts themselves? Usually, no. Everyone needs to lean on someone, for awhile, sometimes. Doesn't make you less strong, just the opposite actually xo