does he have a eating disorder ??

[ajw72]

Hi there

I'm a worried mum of a lad who is nearly 18, for the last 14 yrs he has been a fussy eater , but over the last few years it has got worse , from hiding his food to not eating at all ..... now i think he has a eating disorder but doctors say NOT !! his BMI says underweight ...

[Hidden]

Hi. I am a Mother of a 28 years old Yong man. He has suffered from this since he was 14. We have also tried to get help from the ordinary health care. The treatment was no success. Now, at last he is in treatment in a clinic which is specialised in eating disorders. This clinic has very good track record so we are now very hopeful. I just want to recommend you to get help NOW from a clinic that are specialised in eating disorders. //Anna in Sweden.

[ajw72 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Lusstina12

Thank you for your reply, he has another doctors appointment next week and the doctor has told me he will be referred to to a eating clinic, i hope your son is getting the help he needs , thank you once again

[EeyoreLover]

Have you tried talking to your son about it? Raise your concerns with him and try to get him to talk to you, I was the same I was a fussy eater and then at 16 I stopped eating til just before my 18th but I was still at school so they helped me a lot and I was able to discuss it without my parents being aware that might help, hope he's better soon!

Tori

[ajw72 in reply to EeyoreLover]

Hi EeyoreLover

Thank you for your reply.... yes i have spoken to him on a number of occasions as have many other family members and all with no success.... he shrugs his shoulders and says he don't know why he don't eat hope your on the mend now .. thanks again

[EeyoreLover in reply to ajw72]

I was the exact same, I did not want to admit to anything and I claimed I didn't know, I'm 18 now and I'm almost fully recovered, I just have the odd bad day! Which is great for me. Your son needs to hit rock bottom for him to turn things around (and I know that sounds like someone who is on drink or drugs) but addiction is addiction no matter what your addicted too, in-clinics are good but he needs to cooperate otherwise nothing will work, he is lucky that you have noticed and you are trying to help him even if he doesn't realise it - my parents never knew until I had been in recovery for 6/7 months and had gained a stone in weight taking me to healthy. Why don't you ask him to speak to a specialist, or an NHS psychologist, even just talking once can make a high difference and if he hears it from someone else that may also help him see what it is he is doing to himself, physically and mentally. It is a long road to recovery but when you get there it is amazing! If you continue to see the GP the only way he will get referred to the psychologist if he falls into the anorexia nerverosa weight category the GP won't do anything however you can request to speak to a specialist or a psychologist without the GP referring you to their services.

Hope this helps Tori

[ajw72 in reply to EeyoreLover]

Hi EeyoreLover,

thank you again for your reply and advice , we have a docs appointment , hopefully he will get all the help he needs, reading so many story's of other people going threw eating disorders and getting the help they need is comforting and know that they get better threw help...... if you don't mind me asking but what support did you get from your parents ? its very hard seeing your child going threw something you cant deal with or know how to deal with it ....it's good to hear your almost recovered .... i wish you all the best with your recovery

[EeyoreLover in reply to ajw72]

Thank you, yes I didn't get the support from my parents when they found out, as my parents are away a lot and most of us have meals at different times it was easy for me to hide it especially wearing baggy cloths so it was very hard for them to notice that anything was wrong, however when they did find out they were heart broken that they hadn't noticed and by this point I was into recovery for about 6 months or so, but they continue to support me a lot even though now I don't really need it as I have come to terms with my self and what I was doing to my self. I really hope that your son gets the help that he needs and that he does well in his recovery!

[Hidden]

Firstly, don't panic! Easy for me to say though, so it is important to listen to your gut instinct that something is not right. I would suggest getting a second opinion, either from another GP or a specialist. Many CAMHS services can do more thorough assessments and will also be able to consider possible other emotional reasons why someone's weight is dropping. Your GP should be able to refer you. I would also ask your GP his rationale for saying it isn't an eating disorder and then politely but firmly request regular appointments to monitor your son's weight with a view to deciding what action needs to be taken. Good luck!

[ajw72 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Helen-therapist

Thank you for your reply, my son went to CAMHS a year ago but was discharged

We have another doctors appointment next week and the doctor has said he will be referred to a eating clinic, Thank you once again

[NeilB]

Hi

I struggled with anorexia for many years and am also a male. It was very difficult back then as docs never really recognised that it could even happen with a male.

Eventually I was placed into an ED clinic and it was the best thing that happened. It was so hard at first an also so hard for my parents but eventually we came through it and it truly is the best thing i ever did.

That was 6years ago now and I am a happy healthy male with a wife and a home.

I don't deny how hard it is for you and how difficult it can be going through this with your child, but it truly is worth it.

I hope he becomes to recognise how much better life is without his eating disorder and he gets the help needed

We're here if you need

[ajw72 in reply to NeilB]

HI NeilB

Thank you for your reply, It has been very difficult and i think like you said because doctors think its not normal in boys, we have been fobbed off so many times they even said the cause could be due to being dyslexic !! that to me just was a feeble excuse ... we go doctors next week and hopefully they will sort him out and give him all the help he needs, reading peoples reply's have given me hope and realise that there is help out there..... your story is inspirational and so glad you got the help you did all the best for the future , thank you again for your advice