Bedwetting and not realizing it - The Simon Foundat...

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Bedwetting and not realizing it

Mobiusorion profile image
11 Replies


I've been struggling with incontinence for a few years after nerve damage from testicular cancer surgery. My incontinence has gotten better and my wife and I decided after my diaper was dry for a few weeks straight we'd try going without diapers at night. That was a month or two ago and I switched our flannel sheets out for cooler sheets today and found 8-10 urine circles about the size of a large coffee cup. The accidents never got to her and I didn't feel it and I guess it was dry by the time I woke up. I chatted with some product suppliers today and everyone suggested either back to regular diapers or trying pull ups first. I'm really in my head over this today because I thought I'd been dry and my body basically betrayed me and wanted to reach out for some support and to see who had opinions on whether to use a diaper or pull up. Thanks in advance and I hope everyone's doing well.

11 Replies
LivingLife718 profile image

I understand the way you're feeling and I'm sorry you feel like that. I started at the highest level with a overnight diaper than slowly stepped down till I found the right incontinence protection that worked best for me. I use North Shore Incontinence products. Excellent products. If you email them they send you samples. They respond very quickly.I wish you all the best. Feel free to reach out anytime as I too am always looking for someone to identify with.

Whopper profile image
Whopper in reply to LivingLife718

I can entirely relate to your story as I had a recent urethroplasty. I was on catheters for a solid month and have since struggled to find the right protection both at night and during the day. The good news is at night you don’t need to worry about the level of discretion and visibility. I’m quickly learning that wearing a disposable product that protects you is much better than experiencing an accident. I’ve had very good luck with the Abena products, Attends and Prevail as well. I too am hoping that my situation gets less disruptive overtime, but need to actively manage in the meanwhile. It sucks, but i feel it’s better to take on the management of the condition than to risk the issues related to having an accident.

Mobiusorion profile image
Mobiusorion in reply to LivingLife718

Thanks for the responses! I contacted a couple of companies and got a mix of responses of either sticking with full diapers at night or using pull ups. One company even suggested not wearing protection but having a pad under me. I'm definitely not doing that! If I had an accident in that set up I'd still be doing laundry because the top sheet could get something on it and I'd have underwear to wash. We still had diapers from Walgreens so I've been back in them and did get a sample of pull-ups in that I might be able to talk my wife into trying. I put one on during the day yesterday when they came in and they honestly felt just as bulky as the diaper so I feel like my wife will just keep with diapers.

Rope_Wrench profile image

Hello Mobiusorion,

Sounds to me that your predicament is that you have finally gotten away from protection and want to maintain the level of freedom you have been working for. Good for you *pat on the back*. If you are only having very small leaks then I would suggest a good quality bed pad. You could either place it on top of the bed sheets or under. I have found the putting them under is a great way to keep them in place, keep them out of the way but still keep your mattress protected.

I would agree that the lightest level of protection would not work because the padding is so small and focused between the legs more for a person sitting or standing and a thick diaper with the proper coverage would be overkill. Our issue as men is our boy parts move around and we need more area covered then a pull on is made for..

Northshore has a few very good bed pads that are comfortable to sleep on so I would start there.

Best of luck to you.


Mobiusorion profile image
Mobiusorion in reply to Rope_Wrench

Thanks! The only thing about laying on top of a pad is that an accident would still mean laundry would have to be done. My wife is a major germaphobe as well so the idea that a sheet could get even a drop in it would freak her out. I have a pull-ups sample I might be able to talk her into trying but it's been back to Walgreens diapers so far.

chestnut7718 profile image
chestnut7718 in reply to Mobiusorion

I've been laying on an underpad for 10 years. They get wet and soiled every night. I change on the floor in a private bathroom on an underpad.

incon1982 profile image

I have found with my husband and my father, that a high quality pull-up can work well for night and day (we found through trial and error that NorthShore and Tena products worked well for their levels of incontinence). As things change -- and they do -- we are also experimenting with tabbed briefs and are finding Tranquility makes a good nighttime product as well. I think each person needs to do some testing to see what fits the best, works the best, and feels the most comfortable. Almost all online retailers are happy to send samples to your home so you can try things out before investing a lot of money in something that just isn't quite right. I highly recommend getting samples and giving things a try. All the other thoughts that have been shared here are good ones, too! Wishing you the best!

scottytahoe profile image

I have been wearing NorthShore Care MegaMax tape on diapers for 4 years now day and night and have been working great with my incontinence. Good luck and hope you get it figured out soon.

Dannysproblem profile image

I tried the same thing only it didn't take ery long to see that was not gonna work. I had been incontinent for a couple years and was trying to convince myself that I could over come it. I got a new girlfriend and didn't tell her anything about my incontinence and just thought I'd just be careful and go to the restroom at the first hint. It didn't work I peed my pants several times the first day and we made out before bed and I fell asleep and when I woke up she was next to me and I had wet and even worse pooped in the bed I didn't know what to do and when I tried to get up it woke her up and she said what's going on and turned on the light to see me in a soaking wet pair underwear and she said omg you passed the bed! Then she sniffed the air and jumped up and before I new it spun me around and said you fucking shit your pants too!! We broke up. And I've rebelled several other times they all ended with me peeing or pooping my pants. I have to wear them to keep my clothes clean and it is embarrassing. But not more embarrassing than everyone that looks your way ca. See you've had an accident .

Peelitaway profile image

We know one of the most challenging things about being a caregiver for a loved one who has incontinence can be the early mornings. There are those mornings when your loved one’s wet bed, this can be both physically and emotionally exhausting. No one likes to wash and change sheets each day, and knowing the discomfort (and likely embarrassment) that your loved one feels can be disheartening. Incontinence is often a big reason that older adults are placed into long-term care facilities.

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Sophie555 profile image

You might want to try purchasing a bed wetting alarm they make for children bed wetters and see if you are able to retrain yourself to feel the sensation of when you need to urinate.

During the training I personally would wear a heavy duty pad or pull up to keep the sheets clean but that is up to you.

The alarms range from affordable to pricey. You can Google them.

You said you sustained nerve damage so you may or may not be able to relearn. You can also talk to your doctor & see if he thinks neurological ly it would be feasible to retrain your brain or were those nerves communicating w/ your brain too badly damaged.

Best of luck.

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