Men, not just women, need to speak up - The Simon Foundat...

The Simon Foundation for Continence

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Men, not just women, need to speak up

incon1982 profile image

While more women than men are dealing with incontinence issues, just as women need to speak up and talk to their doctors about their urinary symptoms and not wait years before they do, so do men!

Whenever I speak to men about incontinence symptoms, they are always surprised to learn that I speak to so many other men too. And young men as well as older men.

While it is difficult to talk about a subject that is still often considered taboo, it wouldn't be if the 33 million Americans who are living with urinary incontinence of one type or another, are open about it, make sure they seeking medical help, and not believing that it is just apart of being a woman, or a man, or aging or whatever you hear from others or even some advertisers. Over the decades, we have been able to reduce the stigma surrounding ED, cancer, pregnancy, and other conditions and we can do it with incontinence, too, by not treating it like a closet issue - not when there are 400 million people around the globe dealing with it!

Incontinence happens. Healthcare professionals can help tame it and often cure it. But not if we never tell them about our symptoms.

Please speak to your physician about your symptoms and get help. Keep them up to date with any changes you might notice. Keep the conversation open and going. Learn about new products and treatments and discuss them as possible options with your physician. (

This link is to an article for men. It is covers a lot of territory. And it too encourages men to not be silent.

And here within this support group, where we are all anonymous, we can certainly talk with each other and share and learn. We are all here to help each other.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend ahead!!

11 Replies

I assume you are male. Me too. I've had issues with incontinence for years now.

I am health conscious. Regular physicals and so on. Healthful diet. No problems.

My practitioner happens to be a woman.

I don't know if it is simply 'her' or a huge psycho something that keeps me from mentioning it.

Upon reflection, gender isn't an issue.

It, incontinence, is a difficult topic.

Transcending gender.

Though gender does throw another wrench in the gears.

How do i?

incon1982 profile image
incon1982Administrator in reply to Willy1Bug

Doctors, we have to remember, hear everything and incontinence is a common symptom for a lot of people, so she (most likely) has heard a lot about it from other patients. Whether your doctor (a urologist?) is focused on incontinence and its treatment, however, can mean the difference between having someone really going to great lengths to help you, or just trying a few things and then not really knowing what else to do. There are urologists who really focus on incontinence (vs. ED or prostate cancer, etc.), and you want to work with someone who is really keeping up in the field of urinary incontinence. So you might ask her a few questions to see if she feels like she can help or if she'd like to refer you to someone else. That way, when you get into the deep conversation of what's really going on, you will have someone listening who really has a true appreciation for what you are dealing with.

If you really like your doctor and want to stay with her, then I would suggest making an appointment to discuss just incontinence. Bring a list of questions and concerns, a 48-hour bladder diary, a list of any medications and supplements you take, and start the conversation.

You may find this 2-page Fact Sheet on communicating with your doctor of help, too.

Willy1Bug profile image
Willy1Bug in reply to incon1982

Thank you for your timely response. And support.

My hesitance is primarily, secondarily and tertiarily. A supreme embarrassment to admit to anyone my incontinence.

It's a big one.

I'm not sure who exactly I'd feel comfortable discussing this with.

In my mind, know my provider would be nonjudgemental.

Still "coming out" is difficult.

incon1982 profile image
incon1982Administrator in reply to Willy1Bug

I hope others here in our community. who have gone this path before you, can share something about their experiences that will help.

I know some find their doctors caring and helpful from the start and others have not had such a great experience, but eventually have found a doctor who has made a real difference and is very supportive.

And I truly hope that there is a treatment that is going to help you!

I wear diapers for bowel and bladder. I came out to my cousin who also wear full time, and he didn't want to talk abou t it.

To continue,

It is a difficult admission. "I need diapers" isn't like "I'd like you to meet my 'friend' Robert."

In the long run, and presently, homosexuality may be a bit more acceptable than using adult diapers.

Thank you for your response and understanding.

I don't practice the homsexuality because of my adult diapers.

incon1982 profile image

Remember that something in your body is causing your bladder to not behave as it should. There are many things available that may put YOU back in charge, and that's what you and your doctor are going to try and find. And while for some people there is not an outright and 100% cure, some of the treatments greatly reduce the amount of incontinence, and that means less products, less worry, and more freedom!

Thank you

where you live?

I'm done with not speaking up about my issues in regards to incontinence. Part of the reason I'm here.

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