What not to say to cancer patients.

[Mabethea]

Usually I enjoy my time in the waiting room waiting for my turn for radiation as I've struck up friendly conversation with other women going through the same thing. However, occasionally someone waiting for someone, not a patient themselves, will join the conversation...why is it people want to tell you about their friends, family, acquaintances that had breast cancer and had died and how hard it was to watch them suffer, take care of them, etc. Not encouraging! And quite the contrary. Any suggestions about how to react and or stop those kinds if comments? I thought about suggesting that staff put up obvious notes about keeping conversations in the waiting room positive.

[BklynCatwoman]

I found the same thing too...when people hear you have breast cancer, they love to tell you about a cousin/aunt/mother/neighbor who had breast cancer too. You get hopeful, although you know better, when you ask how they're doing and the person pipes up and says, "Oh, they died..."

A friend of mine made this very helpful and smart video about what to say to cancer patients. I listened to it often during my healing and often referred it to people who were less than positive. I wonder if they got the point.

Anyway, here's the link: youtube.com/watch?v=STN9l0O...(Not working as expected?)

[Breastfriend in reply to BklynCatwoman]

What a wonderfully Positive message! Thanks for sharing!!

[gmasurvivor in reply to BklynCatwoman]

Great video! Thanks for sharing it.

[Mabethea]

This is perfect! Thanks!!!

[BklynCatwoman]

You're welcome! I'm so glad you found it helpful. That makes me feel great. That's why we're all here...reaching out to each other, trying to make this journey easier.

[Biggrinn63]

Nice!!

[TinaLund]

You're obviously a nice woman and approachable, which is why people speak to you! I met the nicest mother of a fellow patient and we are still friends even though she moved away. I understand what you are saying and how you feel. It's challenging to control waiting room conversations. Perhaps a diversion is in order- hey, did anyone see that UFO last night?! Or, excuse me, does anyone have the time? I forgot my watch. Then there's the direct approach- could we change the discussion to something cheerful? Good luck with anything you try.

PS maybe that's why so many waiting rooms have TVs!

[Epinto]

I read all these comments and I cannot believe how many people are affected by this monstrous disease! I don't know if there's posts help me or terrorize me more! It seems like the likelihood of mets is impossible to escape! I was doing well for almost four years and then boom mets to the bone! Like dome cruel joke!!! I am terrified of any Odin I have anywhere in my body and reading these posts r frightful to me!!! Where is the cure? More medicines but no cure. Very sad!