You guys are the best. Sue, Jools, Blue,
Truly, everyone, I came here because I knew you would be there for me. It's crazy how this support can be so vital and helpful. Really.
I've shared this - I recently changed blood pressure meds. The improvement was DRASTIC. My blood pressure went from barely lower than when they prescribed it (150/88) to 92/70. I feel like a new person. I feel like I can breathe for the first time in over 12 years. And the intense anxiety is GONE. This has a huge thing to do with my melt down the other night; I was so less anxious, I stopped smoking pot. Cold turkey WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT. No anxiety, no need of relief from it. But I wasn't given the medical card just for the anxiety. I was also prescribed medical marijuana for, muscle spasms, RLS and insomnia but my greatest need, so I thought was anxiety. The stuff isn't cheap, though and if I don't need it why use it? I wasn't anxious so I stopped smoking/taking edibles. Last night my husband looked at me and said, "Lise, you haven't smoked in DAYS." I said, "Ok. So? I'm not anxious. I don't need it." He said, "You don't just use it for anxiety, do you? Doesn't it help you sleep?" I just looked at him in shock. Then I took an edible that I'd made . . . and I slept like a rock last night. No kicking, no trazedone. Just the gabapentin and my blood pressure meds. I'm absolutely floored. And embarrassed!!
Again, thank you SO VERY MUCH for your encouragement and support. You guys are incredible.