Going through a rough patch.

[Cocoa2700]

A few nights ago my wife Came, to bed late like she has been doing for a while... she told me that she no longer Wants to be with me. I found out that my wife was setting up a date with a guy that she met on Facebook. after I Confronted her about it she finally started to tell me the truth. she Deleted the app only because I Insisted. Then During the next few days. I found out that she has been texting a friend and who is Telling her to Leave me and find someone else. I confronted her about And during our conversation I realized that I haven't been supportive enough about her depression and Mental health. I've always just hit mine. I felt that everybody should be like me. I am severely wrong. I'm gonna try to get help you try.

We are trying to work things out. We booked a hotel room this coming weekend, which is abnormal for us to try to make things less stressful and just breat we also have an upcoming therapy appointment which is in 4 weeks. But meanwhile, I'm going crazy in my brain. That's why I joined this group

[gajh]

Hello and Welcome. I am so glad to hear that you have a therapy appointment coming up. Be sure to practice self care and take good care of yourself as you go through this.

[Cocoa2700]

I have been journaling my experience over the last few days over our rough patch, and at times, it is dark, but it's my Raw feelings. I have been talking more and opening up to my wife. I have been showing her more affection but not getting a lot back, so I was thinking of giving her my journal.. is it a bad thing to give it to her before we go to therapy in a few weeks

[gajh in reply to Cocoa2700]

I would think about your expectations in showing it to her. What do you hope to get out of it? What will it do to you if you don't get what you hope to get out of it? I think it is wonderful that you have been journaling and I encourage you to continue. What else are you doing for self care?

[Cocoa2700 in reply to gajh]

Unfortunately I am over thinking things and its been giveing me more anxiety.. Which is causing me lack of sleep. yesterday I didn't even eat. Today I forced myself to eat breakfast and I Took the boys and got our haircuts. Can't wait for the weekend to be over. So I'm forced to go to work. I've scared to talk to my wife she's working back-to-back midnights. I don't want to cause her any trouble. for Many years I've always helped people never help myself. I just don't know how to.

[gajh in reply to Cocoa2700]

So you have the therapy appointment in 4 weeks. Is that just couple's therapy? Would you be able to find an individual therapist for yourself? It sounds like you will need to have some help learning how to take care of yourself instead of just everyone else. Hopefully you can start to learn that here with us too, but I would really encourage you to get individual therapy is that is a possibility for you at all. Does the journaling help with the overthinking? Does is help to get your thoughts down on paper instead of just having them going around and around in your mind? It is so hard when you don't have the basics down. The sleeping and eating. There isn't much we can do about sleeping just the usual sleep hygiene, but that doesn't help with the overthinking. Please do, force if you have to, yourself to eat. Do you have any time or effort for getting outside and taking a walk even if just a short one? That is great that you took the boys and got your haircuts. I hope you are taking some time out for yourself too, not just with the boys. You said you don't want to cause your wife any trouble. I hope you are focusing more on yourself and your needs than you are focusing on not causing her any trouble. It is ok to take care of yourself. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. I hope I am not overwhelming you by saying too much at once. I don't want to try to tell you what to do, I only want to offer my support.

[Cocoa2700 in reply to gajh]

I really do appreciate all the input. Yes, writing my feelings Seems to help me slow my brain down. I just got a referral to a local therapist and I'm going to contact them tomorrow. I am glad it is getting to be summer time. I love doing Yard work.

[gajh in reply to Cocoa2700]

That is so good that you are contacting the therapist tomorrow. I am glad you have yard work to look forward to. If you love it, it will be so good for you. Is there anything you can do between now and then?