Behaviors

[bsilverman]

I was wondering if others have had similar experiences. My husband (2 years since PSP diagnosis) now lives in a Board and Care. Needless to say, he wants to be home. My concern is that he has been accusing the staff there of mistreatment. His claims are of lashing, wrenching, calling him an asshole, that he falls and they don't report it. Today we met with the staff to hash it out. I truly believe that they are trying to help and his accusations are unfounded and perhaps a result of his unhappiness. They seem to really be trying and, of course, are concerned they might get reported and fined or their license suspended.

I've started wondering if perhaps this is a hallucination or a dream that he confuses with reality. Or could it just be that he really can't express himself so it comes out as accusations? Today, while we were trying to sort it out between the caregivers and him he got very agitated. Perhaps he was picking up that we were having trouble believing him although we tried to be respectful of his issues.

Towards the end of the discussion, he accused me a choking him. Now, I know that this didn't happen for sure - unless he meant it as a metaphor. He can't often find everyday words to express himself but he has a tremendous knowledge archive and often uses unusual language. I find if I look some of these words up they are very appropriate, just obscure.

I am trying to be respectful and address his concerns but this really has us all stumped. Any input would be helpful.

Thanks

[Hidden]

Larry believes what he tells me when I know it isn’t true. When I tell him it isn’t true he get angry.

Is your husband being abused? Maybe. Hard to say. What they think is real to them. Is there any bruising? He may forget all about this complaint in a day or two.

[bsilverman in reply to Hidden]

No bruising that I've seen. I wish he would forget about it but I think, instead, he might be holding old thoughts and not letting go. Thanks

[easterncedar]

Any chance the home would let you have a camera in his room? It might ease all of your minds.

[bsilverman in reply to easterncedar]

I had a camera there for a while. They said it was an invasion of his privacy and their licensing could be threatened so I had to take it away.

[choclab511]

Have to say reading your post sounded very familiar. My mother has CBD and has been in a memory care unit for 14 months. Nearly every time I talk to her she tells me how "this place is going downhill." She's accused people of stealing. Complains staff doesn't show up on time for work. The food is lousy. It goes on and on. I think in her case its frustration with her situation. She's told me several times she's going to move back home soon. She hasn't said anything about physical abuse though, so I would probably be inclined to take it more seriously, like you are doing. Investigate, listen to your gut, and go from there.

[claredavieswales]

Sounds very familiar. You are not alone. We had a similar experience a couple of years ago when my mother-in-law was in hospital, before she moved to a nursing home near us. She accused the (lovely & helpful) staff of refusing to take her to the toilet and not giving her her pills. She also said that the staff had accused her husband (who sadly passed away a couple of years previously) of attacking a nurse which is why he’d jumped out of the ward window!!! Bizarre. It was very disturbing and at first we tended to believe her when she said the staff weren’t helping her. But we very soon realised this wasn’t true.

This behaviour was out of character and didn’t last too long, perhaps about a year. Sadly my mother-in-law is now unable to speak, move or feed herself. It’s so sad. We do see the odd glimmer of defiance in her eyes and body language so the behaviour might still be in there. It’s just that she can’t express it.

Keep doing what you’re doing. Be kind to everyone, including yourself. Keep chatting to the staff and keep comforting your husband. Thinking of you x

[ErzaTitania]

Hello Bsilverman, yes, it is hallucination, my mother in law who passed away has hallucinations too.. I think, for PSP patients, that's common. We have to adjust for them, and understand, and always be patient