In a nightmare

6 WEEKS OF HELL. or is it more. He fell and broke his femur. 1 week in the hospital. They said he is a very high risk patient to operate on, heart issues, Parkinsons etc. Had a bad reaction to the anesthia, they had to restrain him. Very lucky it went away after a day and then rehab where he still is. Only because I fell and have a compression fracture in my spine. Have to wear a brace for 3 months, can't bend, lift anything over 5 pounds or twist my body. The brace looks like a piece of medieval armor. Not to mention the pain which is horrible and the fact that I can't drive, Dtrs orders. He can't drive either of course and am looking for different options to try and get help at home, besides the VA. They are sending him home next Friday. He doesn't know what I did exactly to myself. Don't want to upset him but he knows I hurt myself. Haven't seen him for 2 weeks which is driving my crazy as well. Fingers crossed, don't know how we will manage. Trying to think positive.

Audrey (aka auddonz)

31 Replies

  • DHS , Area Council on Aging, got to be a disabilities council or something, Social Security might be able to help ,,,start calling these agencies for temporary help...each may give only 2 weeks....or 15 times they come out to help you so you might have to use each of them I bet ec would know better....start calling...It really sounds like he will need Hospice til you are better...or is that where he is? I am so sorry Audrey....Maybe the VA will continue to help him? call them too! Relatives Church? Volunteer programs? good luck darling I hope you find someone to help you....


  • I see this was sent 34 minutes ago!!!!I wrote it not much before that...but could not send...Thanks healthunlocked for your help (I emailed them)


  • abirke, Was making calls today. Will call United Health Care as well. They will send a PT, OT and nurse. To tired to call Social Security and Medicare as well. i know the VA will send and aide again but time wise it is gong to be tight. No he is in rehab and they are telling me he has improved a lot. Will see what happens.


  • abirke, The VA is going to give me more time, how much I don't know yet, someone else, don't remember who, will be coming to evaluate our needs, so things are in the works. Best, he is coming home Friday. I just hope they send him home with the clothes I brought for him and an accurate list of the meds they have him on. That worries me. Since I can't drive because of my back, I am going to have to get everything straightened out with the nurses on the phone which really stinks.

  • Oh, Audrey. Hell indeed. won't the VA provide you some home help or respite care? I was told we were eligible for 30 days every calendar year, and the facility we have here in town is very nice. Maybe there isn't anything good near you; I know all VA facilities are not the same. But we get 14 hours of homecare through them each week, too. You do need help. I hope you can get some soon!

  • The guy I work with from the VA is on vacation, figures. Was getting 6 hours from them, they sent an aide for Don. Trying to see if they will give us more. Contact elder healthline here in Marion County and see what I can get through them for both of us. Don is already on it. They interview you over the phone to see what we can qualify for. Said they would call me either Monday or Tuesday. Fingers crossed eastern.

  • Which Marion County?

  • We have a Marion Cty. here, but I'm thinking you don't live in Yellville


  • Nope, Ocala

  • Brother in law lives in Zephyr Hills!

  • abirke, haven't a clue of where that is.

  • Oh do you live in Florida? Z H is about 75 miles south of Ocala Fl.

  • There are so many towns and cities, it is impossible to know them all abirke

  • true that!

  • How awful for you both. I'm so sorry and hope you manage to get the help you desperately need.

    Sending you a great big hug.


  • Hopefully we do Nanna B. I am scared to death.

    Big hug back to you,


  • Hang in there, Audrey. You need help more than we do, so you must qualify for at least as many hours of help.

  • Hope the VA sees it that way ec. Right now they are only giving us 6 hours a week and that is when D is home Being alone with no help scares the heck out of me,

  • where are you? i;m in sabta rosa, ca

  • Ocala, Fl

  • Audrey sounds as though you are living the nightmare I have always had (before nursing home) - what happens to M if I was broken.

    As you are States side all I can send are my best wishes and hope you find someone to help you until you can get rid of the back-brace. Tim

  • That is what I am trying to do Tim. Making calls and waiting for help. 3 months wearing the brace, so the surgeon said.

  • Oh Audrey, I am so sorry. Listen to the advice of your fellow citizens and get all the help you can, plus so more!

    Take care of that back, make sure you do EXACTLY what the doctors say.

    Sending a very careful hug and lots of love


  • Heady, I am so trying to follow his instructions. Considering I have the brace on, not bending except at the knees, no lifting anything anything over 5 pounds,, no twisting of my body, don't know exactly what that means but the brace itself is very constricting. I am using a walker since I feel unsteady and keeping everything crossed. Will get through this, just another trial. D will be home on the 23rd.

    Hugs are the best and lots of love back,


  • What a nightmare, Audrey. Its what we all fear.

    No help to offer, as I'm in U.K. Only love and empathy !!

    Rest your back, as Heady says.

    love and a hug, Jean x

  • Yup it is definitely a nightmare, something we don't think about Doglinton. I am resting my back, can't do much anyway, surgeon orders, no bending, can't lift anything over 5 pounds, no twisting of my body including no driving. Will get through it, have no choice, 3 months in the brace, yikes.

    Love and hug back back Audrey xoxo

  • Holy cow. Talk about awful. I'm so sorry. I worry about this sort of thing all the time - what happens if my mom hurts herself, gets sick, etc. I know it may not seem like a bright spot, but at least you've had him in a safe place, being cared for, so you can at least start to recover. I'm sure it's terrible to not be able to see him though. Sending lots of positive energy your way! I really hope things start getting better for you guys.

    Does he have VA disability or are you just able to use the VA because he's a veteran? Or is he retired military? Just trying to find out if my dad might qualify for some help from the VA.


  • Oh Audrey sorry to hear you have hurt yourself, you must take care of yourself, it must be very painful, I am praying you get loads of help for when Don comes home, big worry of how you are going to manage, hope you have a good outcome on Monday or Tuesday when they ring you back. Yvonne xxxxx

  • Yvonne, yes it is very painful. Besides wearing a brace for 3 months, I can't drive, bend or twist or lift anything over 5 pounds, surgeons orders. Hope I get some good news on Monday or Tuesday as well. Fingers crossed. he will be home Friday. I am having such difficulty even walking I haven't seen him in 2 weeks. Can't believe what I did to myself. Thank you for the prayers, we need them.

    Audrey xoxo

  • Poor you, well poor both of you, what a nightmare, as fellow Brits have said can only offer sympathy and best wishes

    Lots of love

    Debbie xxx

  • It seems to be a very dark time for lots of people on this site at the moment, it highlights the seriousness of this disease and the implications on sufferers and carers. This disease certainly knows how to do its worst. I do hope you manage to get help on place in time for him to come home you will never cope without major help. Take care

    Love Kate xxxx

You may also like...