I'm new here: My spouse, Mark, had RPP... - Prostate Cancer A...

Prostate Cancer And Gay Men

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KansasCouple profile image
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My spouse, Mark, had RPP surgery this year in March. His father passed from prostate cancer years ago so when he was diagnosed he had a higher risk of an aggressive cancer. Mark has improved tremendously but is still trying to wake up "wee willy winky." I'm still trying to encourage him to have a daily "exercise" regimen but our doctor wants him to have a medical test before he takes low dose Viagra. (His high blood pressure goes wonky with Cialis and Viagra makes him loopy.) To keep it short, we do not have an support group but we have awesome medical professionals who answer every question, even the most embarrassing. Mark and I talk daily and we try to help each other with our problems. At least we now have online support to learn about incontinence, ED, etc. I'm trying to get him to join this group so watch for Kansas Couple 2.

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KansasCouple
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YostConner profile image
YostConner

Was Mark’s erectile nerve spared? Keep up the exercise. A pump might help even if viagra is restricted. Of course, there are also injectables. They’re not the best thing in the world, but they can cause an erection! It sounds like Mark i# not on ADT, so mayb3 they got all the cancer? Hooray if they did.

KansasCouple profile image
KansasCouple in reply toYostConner

Yes, the spared the nerves on the "better" side where the cancer didn't grow so fast. (I'm still trying to get him to log in and reply but hopefully by the weekend. Watch this post.) The surgeon also removed his lymph nodes. All tests came back clear which obviously gave us both a sense of relief. His first test showed zero cancer and his 2nd test for our surgeon also came back zero. Follow up consult with him to come next Thursday on exactly which nerves they spared. What a rollercoaster ride this has been though. We decided on the RPP because prostate cancer runs in the family. We were told after surgery we'd hate the surgeon. We don't. We hate his parents for conceiving him. (Just kidding.) The things I miss most is that we can be naked together but instead of an orgasm he pees. Or I can spoon against him against a sexy diaper but not his nakedness. But we try to keep positive and remember that the alternative would be horrendous!

PSV60 profile image
PSV60 in reply toKansasCouple

Welcome to the group. Intimacy comes in many forms, and you will find your "new normal" as time moves on. Mark will not be in a diaper forever, and he is in a very early stage of recovery. Sounds like Mark is very lucky to have you as a partner! :)

TucsonCowboy profile image
TucsonCowboy

Hi KansasCouple,

I would strongly encourage your spouse to join this group. The guys provide very caring

responses to one's concerns/individual situations.

Rick

KansasCouple profile image
KansasCouple in reply toTucsonCowboy

I'm trying but he has lots on his plate lately.

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