Mike is gone

[Waubesa94]

I have not posted here for some time, but did write something on the main forum. My husband, Mike, passed away yesterday after five years of battling Gleason 9 prostate cancer. Although he had a rough last year, we still believed that there was more we could do and that he had a good chance to survive much longer. This past weekend, after sensing something VERY wrong for several days and getting an incredibly trite answer from his oncologist's office, I decided to call 911 and have him taken to the hospital. After several hours in the emergency room he was admitted and the following morning we got the devastating news that a CT scan revealed a massive brain tumor bleeding into his skull. Transferred to the local hospice, he was gone less than 24 hours later. On top of how devastated we are, I am mad as hell. I did many hours of research, asked question after question of his various doctors, but was more or less dismissed time and again and so was he. An aggressive cancer should be treated as such and it was not. The only advice I can give to others is to trust your instincts. Whether you are a patient or caregiver, take charge as much as possible and demand answers. Perhaps it's wasteful to feel this anger as I fear the outcome might have been the same regardless, but as I've posted elsewhere, I do not want to see anyone else go through what he - and us - have gone through. God knows we pay enough for health care in this country -- it's time we got some actual caring. Genny

[dadzone43]

Genny I share your loss. Death is inevitable for us all and we often wonder should we have / could we have done more? I hope that the pain of your loss lasts only as long as you need it. Hugs.

[dogscats-himandme]

I'm very sorry to have you and those who loved Mike go through this frustrating situation. I feel my husband and I could have better dealt with the similar situation if the oncologist had ordered some additional testing instead of referring my husband to another specialty for conditions that we believed were cancer related. Although my husband would have passed away from his cancer in any case, it would have been far less frustrating to not have been sent away and then eventually be told to return to the oncologist. Your anger is not wasteful in that you are letting other caregivers know that it's right to trust your instincts and demand answers.

[Darryl Partner]

You are a hero to your family and an honor to be part of our community, always.

[Advo__cate]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. So very hard. Grieving with you.

[NWLiving]

You’re right. When the patient is in the treatment machine, it seems docs and nurses can handle it, but the ones I’ve worked with don’t do as well when the person falters, but that should be just a normal part of the treatment. I’m sure you are feeling a huge loss in your life and I hope this last year with Mike has not been in too much pain. Thinking of you.

[NWLiving]

If it’s not too painful, and when you feel ready, how was the last year for Mike and you? Or if others want to share too. I’m trying to just get used to a slower pace and be with my Bill but worry about what’s coming.

[George71]

I'm am so sorry -- God bless you and Mike.

[Wifeof]

I’m so sorry. I wish you some peace after all you’ve endured and witnessed.

[Indianagal]

I am so very sorry for your loss.