Teenage pregnancy

[monkey3456]

I found out i was 5 weeks pregnant about a week ago, at first i was terrified but then i got excited and was looking forward to it but on boxing day i miscarried, i was really upset because i truly wanted that baby, but the 3 people that i told i was pregnant ( friends ) say i shouldn't be upset because i was ' too young anyway and it wasn't even a baby yet' but it's really hit me, please someone tell me am i in the right or are they? I don't know how to feel at the minute

[Carren]

I'm sorry for your loss hun. There's no right or wrong way to feel about a miscarriage. Some people just shrug it off as nature's way of ending a pregnancy that probably wouldn't have turned out well had it continued, while others feel as real a sense of grief as if they'd lost their baby after its birth. It may be that with time your friends' point of view makes more sense, in that you realize years from now that you were very young and that waiting until a bit later to start a family was the right thing for you. For now though, you don't have to apologize for being upset--you've lost a baby and that hurts. And no one in their right mind would try to tell a teenage mother who had lost her baby to cot death not to worry about it because she was too young to be a mother anyway. I'm sure others will chime in with information about resources you can turn to for help working through this difficult time, or if not, your GP should be able to help. I do hope you speak to someone who can offer you the support you need without telling you that anything you're feeling or may feel later is "wrong".

[monkey3456 in reply to Carren]

Thank you x

[Skyblueboston]

After my misscarriage last year at 7.5 weeks I was devastated as we have bingbtryingbor so long. Don't let other dictate how u feel, if your upset then that's how it is! Good luck in your future

[monkey3456 in reply to Skyblueboston]

Thank you and sorry for your loss x

[gemmw]

Oh no soo sorry hun .. I was 15 when I had my first miscarriage at 12weeks I still cry about it now...

Also u can go slap ur 'friends' that have said that to u! Its ur baby you have every right to be upset.. And you can tell them that your baby had a heartbeat at 5 weeks! If your still bleeding stick to wearing pads atm .. Tampons can cause infection atm xxxxxxx

[monkey3456 in reply to gemmw]

Thank you and it's upsetting isn't it? but oh thanks for that! I didn't realise it could cause infections xxxxxx

[tigernoodles]

Don't let anyone else tell you how to feel. You have lost a baby whether it was classed as embryo or whatever, to you it was a baby. Grieve as you need to and look after yourself, lots of rest and gentle exercise. It'll always stay with you but the pain lessens in time xxx

[monkey3456 in reply to tigernoodles]

Thank you xxx

[gemmw]

Yea not sure why but doctors have always said just use pads.. Plus you can keep track of how much ur bleeding xxx

[mumofone2009]

I am so sorry for your loss i agree with all the other ladys too x

[archie01]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Your friends are probably just trying to make you feel better. But unless you have experienced a miscarriage you don't really understand. You take as much time as you need and don't doubt the way you feel. It was YOUR BABY and no one can tell you any different. My heart goes out to you. One day it will be your turn and it will be right xx

[minime61]

I'm some people would disagree, but I would recommend keeping a little box of things to remember your baby by. I wish I had done that at the time I lost my first baby to a miscarriage. Perhaps, a list of names you were thinking of, the positive test if you still have it, a letter to your baby telling them how you felt about having them...and if you have any money you could buy a little toy or vest that you would have liked to have given to your baby. If not, you could print./cut out pictures of toys or clothes you would have loved to have bought.

Forgive your friends, they are just young and have no idea how it must feel for you. Even adult women don't always know what to say.

Lots of love, I'm so sorry about your baby x