Do midwives know the gender of your unborn baby from looking at your notes? Is it written down somewhere what gender you are having?

[Lanny3]

This has been playing on my mind all day so just wondering what others thoughts and experiences are.

Had a 34 week midwife appointment this morning and part way through, she says to me “so you’re having a … aren’t you” and specifies a gender. I reply straight away “no we don’t know the gender and don’t want to know”. She then advised me it was just a slip of the tongue and was her mistake. But I’m not sure whether I believe her.

So my question is this… do midwives know the gender of your baby, even when you’ve specified throughout your pregnancy you don’t want to know? Is it written down somewhere in your notes? Perhaps from a sonographer who has scanned you and noted down the gender? It’s playing on my mind and I’d really like to know if it genuinely was a slip of the tongue or whether she does in fact know the gender of my baby!

Thanks xx

[Mcra]

It shouldn't be written down anywhere. The sonographer can tell you if you want, but it's not recorded anywhere because it's not needed (reproductive organs are not checked at the scan) and it's not 100% accurate. It sounds like your midwife just mistook you for someone else. It's likely the sonographer didn't even look to see if it's a boy or a girl if they didn't have to.We knew the sex of our baby, but my midwife didn't and she asked me.

[Lanny3 in reply to Mcra]

Thank you x

[KiboXX]

Agree with the previous poster, sounds like your midwife just got you mixed up with someone else. They don’t record the gender even if you do find out x

[Lanny3 in reply to KiboXX]

Thank you x

[JoyfulStar]

I agree with the others. My midwife thought my baby was a particularly gender when she was checking the baby’s heartbeat and position. I had to correct her and tell her that we do not yet know the sex of the baby. They see so many women, it will doesn’t surprise me that they make mistakes sometimes. For example, had to tell her on 3 separate occasions that I have had all the Covid, flu and whooping cough vaccines.

I have had a number of scans and I know that because we have always said we do not want to know the sex of the baby. This has not been checked by the sonographer. Also, our baby has been in awkward positions on several occasions so checking would have been difficult anyway.

[Lanny3 in reply to JoyfulStar]

Thank you x

[Pasaeoco01]

Just a separate thought in this - I would be incredibly surprised if the nhs would recorded the predicted gender of a baby in any medical notes. Given that they can never been 100% accurate they’re leaving themselves wide open by recording a gender in your notes!!I would say very very unlikely your midwife read that anywhere although I can understand your questioning 😊 xx

[Lanny3 in reply to Pasaeoco01]

Thank you x

[HollyT7 in reply to Lanny3]

they didn't record it for our first as we asked not to know, but with our second on our scan to check everything they asked if we wanted to know, which we did and they recorded this on the scan notes that was placed in my notes.

[Cheekymonkey85]

It’s not something they specifically check for to my knowledge. Ok so a lot of the time during the scan they are going to see but it’s not part of the checks unless you ask, but the same thing did happen to me. I can’t remember how far I was but like you part way through the checks she said pretty much the same thing. On reflection afterwards there are a few signs that I’m not sure are majorly accurate but they must notice patterns- heart rate being one of them so I assumed she was having a bit of a guess. She was right 😂🙈

I’d had 2 babies previously and the only other time a guess was had was at 36 weeks. I had a scan and something with babies kidneys was spotted, I googled and it’s most common in boys so at next appointment midwife said basically she’d put money on it being a boy but she was wrong that time 😆

[Lanny3 in reply to Cheekymonkey85]

Thank you. I was just annoyed at the possibility she may have told us the gender when we have gone 34 weeks without knowing 😩 I’m thinking it was just a slip of the tongue xx

[Seb9]

My midwife guessed I was going to have a boy, my sonographer would quite often say he sorting my scans, my obstetrician would say she during my diabetes check ups, when I was in labour a midwife said she thought I was having a boy because of how baby was presenting and I had a little girl, so they I definitely don't think it was in my notes as the midwives were all wrong 😂

[Lanny3 in reply to Seb9]

Thank you, that’s good to hear that they definitely don’t know! Xx

[LC1990]

This exact thing has just happened to me at 37 week appointment and after I said I don’t know she said ‘oh it’s just because all the other women I’ve seen today are having a girl and only 1 was having a boy’Why would you say that?!

Was she right?

[Lanny3 in reply to LC1990]

So all the midwives I spoke to about this advised me they don’t write the gender down when you’ve specified you don’t want to know.. but this midwife who said to me “so you’re having a boy” was actually correct! I ended up having a baby boy haha it obviously doesn’t matter now he’s here because he’s amazing but it does still annoy me as it played on my mind until I gave birth and she was right! But then all the midwives who helped deliver him were convinced I was having a girl so really not sure anyone does know? Xx

[LC1990]

I really don’t mind what I have as I already have a girl, I just don’t understand why you would say that as a direct statement?It is playing on my mind now but just hope it doesn’t effect my mood for too long!

Congratulations on your baby boy xxx

[Milliemoo6]

It's unlikely to be recorded anywhere, especially if you've asked not to know. I had the same experience at a midwife appointment where she asked if I was having a girl and I didn't know. My baby boy was born last week so clearly it was just her getting me mixed up with someone else or making an assumption.

[LC1990]

After all of that, my baby was born the opposite as to what she said x