Labour stories? Cheer me up please

[FirstTimeMam]

I've been reading so many stories on here today (I've had a bad day with morning sickness and am glued to my bed) some good some bad and it is hard I suppose not to panic and stress, especially being my first. I was wondering if any one had any positive stories or even funny labour stories? I'll be 13 weeks pregnant on Friday and its been 3 weeks since my last scan, I really can't wait to see my little human again (I promised myself I wont cry this time).

[MissSaoPaulo]

My delivery ended up being pretty much the opposite of what I'd hoped for, but it was still a positive experience. I'd wanted a water birth, totally zen, had my playlist ready and everything. Waters leaking, low levels of fluid at 40+5 meant I had to be induced, but it didn't work. Had the pessary 3 times and nada. Not even any contractions. Baby was fine, not distressed, but I just wanted her out by that point and I was tired and labour hadn't even started! So I asked for a c section, managed to get a couple of hours sleep and had her the next morning.

Recovery was a bit tough but she's over a year old now and I can't really remember much about it to be honest, those early weeks are a bit of a blur.

It's normal to feel anxious and apprehensive while pregnant, especially with the first. Having a baby is a huge change and the steepest learning curve of your life. I was never really scared of the birth, but I was petrified about getting her home and suddenly being responsible for looking after her. It's just like anything else though, it gets easier with experience

[FirstTimeMam in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

So glad it all worked out well for you and you have a happy healthy little one now! Yes, I too would love a waterbirth but it really is rare that you plan to have one and actually get one so I am not holding on to that thought! Thanks for sharing 😀

[Seb9]

I had a good experience really, labour was pretty uneventful I was induced because I had gestational diabetes.I had an epidural because my midwife said induction could be painful and long, so I had that and then just waited until my contractions were strong and I'd dilated.

Had only a small tear and a graze, baby was perfect and beautiful. We stayed in the labour ward and had tea and toast, did lots of skin to skin and baby suckled almost straight away.

I felt fine quite quickly and once baby was fed and dad was giving her a cuddle I went and had a shower.

We stayed in for 24 hours because of the gestational diabetes as baby had to have bloods checked to make sure she was OK.

I found that getting into something, that I could do to prepare for baby helped me get through pregnancy. I knitted lots of blankets and decided to use reusable nappies, so would spend hours looking up different brands. I bought lots of nappies to get them washed and ready for babies arrival as well as her clothes and bedding etc. It helped me to have something that felt useful to do.

[FirstTimeMam in reply to Seb9]

Its great to hear that all went well with your beautiful baby! I can't wait to have the bonding moments with just me, my partner and the baby and I suppose shut off from the outside world for a while. I don't know how my emotions will cope seeing my partner with the baby for the first time, I'm an emotional wreck haha. In terms of getting in to something, I wouldn't know where to start when it comes to knitting but I would lie to get in to something, even if it is reading? I just don't want to be that person who is so obsessed with doing everything 'by the book' as such, but of course I wasn't to get it right. Thanks for sharing with me 😊

[Seb9 in reply to FirstTimeMam]

My baby did her first poop on daddy the first time he held her, which I found hilarious. I had packed her enough outfits for a week, me enough for a few nights and him nothing 🙈 I gave up on reading books, I think the thing that made me stop reading was this line about putting her in her cot 'tired but awake and she'll fall asleep' not my daughter, she clearly had a different book that said 'your cot is lava do not sleep in it, scream as soon as your head touches it.' 😂

[FirstTimeMam in reply to Seb9]

Oh thats hilarious!!😂😂 Least he deserves after your 9 months of pregnancy! I know its not going to be easy by no means but I can't wait!

[Winter_Girl]

Hope you feel better soon.

I had a good experience. It was very quick!

I'd been monitored in the afternoon as I'd had some brown spotting (in hindsight this was probably the start of my plug coming away). I was 41+1 and offered a sweep before I left, which I accepted, but my cervix was closed and I was booked in for an induction in three days time.

As I left the hospital at 4pm I started to lose my plug. Around 5pm I had some mild cramping in my back which I dismissed as braxton hicks. I bounced on my ball and ate a big dinner! At 9pm I started to think maybe labour was on its way so I decided to get some rest and laid on the sofa, but I got a sharp pain and that was the start of my contractions! By 10pm they were every 3 minutes and I was at the birth centre an hour later. I was examined at 11.30pm and was 4cm dilated. At 1.09am had given birth!!

My partner annouced it was a boy until I picked the baby up and annouced she was a girl! 😂

It was the most surreal and incredible experience. I needed stitches (1st and 2nd degree tear) and lost a bit of blood, but neither had any affect on my recovery which was pretty quick really (3 weeks).

I was just exhausted! Still am almost 2 years later 😂 Having a baby is overwhelming and those first few months just consume you, but time flies by.

Good luck at your next scan x

[FirstTimeMam in reply to Winter_Girl]

Thanks so much 💗

Wow, that is super quick! I suppose you'd prefer that over anything. That's something my partner would do, that's so funny and something you will hold forever 😂

I am ready for the sleepless nights, I can't tell you how excited I am, I have younger brothers and sisters and loved watching them grow so now I can't wait to have my own. Thanks so much again, really appreciate your message xx

[QT314]

Hi, my birth was pretty positive too. I'd recommend doing a hypnobirthing course and/or reading lots of positive birth stories. If you google that you'll find lots or go to positive birth company and you can read lots there.

[FirstTimeMam in reply to QT314]

I will definitely look in to it, thanks very much for the recommendation!💗

[amazed]

It's such a shame that Mums sometimes don't get the support that they need after a traumatic birth experience and share all the gory details with other young and often pregnant women.

A really good thing to remember is that we have been doing this very successfully for hundreds of thousands of years and that every direct female ancestor of yours has successfully given birth to at least one baby or you literally wouldn't be here!

Your birth experience won't be like anyone else's, yes you'll find similarities but it's a very personal thing, shared with your baby, you'll be going through it together.

Some points to remember, unless there's a VERY good reason, no one should interrupt your (and your baby's) innate processes during the later stages of pregnancy and during labour. In the majority of cases, your body will work out what to do and with a super dose of resilience, you will get your baby out and there is absolutely NOTHING that compares to the rush of holding your newborn after a natural, unmedicated birth. You will have birthed not only your baby, but the mother in you.

Whatever your birth experience is like, so much is forgotten in those golden minutes following the birth. What is important during the process, in terms of medical attention is that you are given an opportunity to make an in formed choice. Having a baby is like planning for a picnic in England, it could turn out to be a lovely day but, equally, it could snow in July! Informed choice can help us to feel less traumatised afterwards if interventions are necessary because baby gets into distress. There are very few situations which are so urgent that there isn't enough time to share a couple of minutes with your partner to process and understand the suggestions that are being made by medical professionals before you make your decision.

It's important to remember that for most of our evolution we have given birth at home (for much of it, home was a cave) it would've been a familiar environment surrounded by other women, friends and family, many of whom have experienced child birth themselves. As diurnal (day time waking) animals, we tend to give birth at night when we're safe. Much of the process of birth is instigated by our primitive brain, ancient structures shared with other mammals (you may well feel closer to other species than ever before if you find yourself lowing like a cow or roaring like a lioness in the late first stage and second stage of labour- these are good signs that things are progressing as they should!) which means that if we encounter risk or something scary, the process can be stopped, our primitive brain protecting us. This is why, as a doula I would firstly encourage mums to consider having a home birth (outcomes for Mums and babies are better than hospital births) or, at the very least staying at home for as long as possible. At home you can move freely, dance to music, sit backwards on a chair in the shower while your partner sprays your back with warm water, eat whatever you fancy, drink whatever you like (alcohol can slow contractions so best avoided until after the birth😉) and the most wonderful thing about a home birth is that as soon as you've had your baby and feel comfortable, the midwives leave and it's just you, your partner and your precious little one, with everything you need around you.

My third son was born at home. It was one of my favourite birth experiences for the reasons listed above. He cried when he was born (on the cot matress on the bathroom floor) until we dressed him and then he stayed awake for about 6Hours, wonderfully alert, looking at our faces as we gazed upon him. We ordered a Chinese takeaway, we tried to drink champagne (pretty unsuccessfully!) and we started to learn our baby's face. He cried for a second the next day when the midwives came back for the heel prick test but then he didn't cry again for months. I'm sure that being surrounded by familiar sounds and relaxed parents from the start added to his sense of peace in that first year.

That was such a wonderful birth, I'd woken up that morning feeling filled with love (the oxytocin was firmly flowing) sent my older two off to school, telling my 8 year old that I thought he'd probably be going home with his mate tonight because it felt like his brother might be coming and we'd keep him posted. His 13 yo brother was going to come home after school and then go to a neighbouring friend's for a sleepover.

With the oldest ones happy I put on some reggae, danced around the sunny kitchen of our rented house, tidied up a bit. All the while with a low down ache like period cramp. I'd had my final antinatal appointment booked for that day so I walked down mid morning and told the midwife that I thought I was probably going into labour. I asked her if she could check my cervix and she said (which I've come to really appreciate, looking back) that she wouldn't want to go near it because any stimulation from her could stop my body doing what it was doing quite naturally on its own- most likely speed things up- dissing the cervix can make the body believe that the baby isn't safe inside any longer and encourage labour to start. She recognised that even her feeling to see how many cm I was dilated would be an intervention- and the first intervention makes future interventions MUCH more likely (worth bearing in mind if you're offered a sweep or induction if you go over the date that they give you at your dating scan... the average length of pregnancy is 41 weeks so half of all babies are born after that time)... Anyway back to my best birth story...By lunchtime the cramps had started to come and go in waves but I was suddenly feeling really hungry. Living in Bristol I was lucky enough to have an organic farm shop at the bottom of my road and my partner (now husband) and I wandered down. I couldn't decide between a 'nut rissole' or a slice of veggie pizza so I bought both and a choc nut brownie. I remember having to stop once for a rest on a wall during a string cramp as I walked back up the hill, it was 2pm by this time. Once back in my kitchen I was ravenous, I ate all of it! And within an hour the cramps were clearly becoming contractions and when my eldest got home at 4 I had to sit on the stairs to talk to him as he got ready to go to his friend's.

So we're 8 hours into labour and it's only just getting properly unusable, which was good. Off he went to his friend's and so the contractions quickened. At 5 pm I suggested my partner phone the midwives. They were about half an hour away.... during normal times but for some reason, on this particular day they still weren't there at 615, I was having strong and regular contractions by this point. Sitting on the toilet for a lot of it (unproductively, just because that squat position really helped ease the pain in my hips as my muscles eased him down with every tightening) and I started to get a bit scared. I note know that this is typical during 'transition'when the cervix reaches is maximum dilation, it's thought that this adrenaline rush may help with the pushing which is likely to be coming soon) and ordered my partner to phone an ambulance (on the proviso that the paramedics would come into the basement bathroom with me and not try to remove me from the house- I was still determined to have my home birth!). In a move that no one has been able to explain to us since, the operator (perhaps hearing the panic in his voice) sent my partner to find a safety pin. I can only think that from the noises I was making they had deduced that I'd do better without being around his stress and sent him on a wild goose chase, i mean, what man knows where to find safety pins in their home?

Luckily for me the midwives arrived about a minute before the paramedics and came downstairs, made me lie down to examine me and realised that they could see the head! As I dragged myself back up into a supported squatting position (hubby sat on a beareau, me between his legs facing him), my waters broke and three or four pushes later Jay was born. Soooo soft and smooth and beautiful and incredibly noisy, he was much happier when we put some clothes on him. I had a small graze but no tears, lost quite a lot of blood but I have heavy periods so I expected that. It stopped quickly although they gave me the injection (syntometrine, i think) to get my placenta out just in case. But because that 3Rd stage happened quickly it meant that the midwives were gone within an hour of arriving and we made those beautiful memories together with our son, sharing that special time just the three of us

I've also had 2 hospital births and one water birth at a midwife unit.

Tune in next time for another episode 😅🤣😍

Thank you for giving me an excuse to share my positive birth story, it can feel a bit frowned upon when we hear all the horror stories more readily... birth trauma is real but I think that sharing those stories risks instilling fear into a perfectly natural process and it would be awful if we continue on a path in this country towards the medicalisation of both that they have in the US (one of the countries with the most medicalised birth system in the developed world and also some of the worst outcomes for mums and babies, speaks volumes) the positive stories are so important too .

Reading list fir you- the new experience of birth, active birth, spiritual midwifery.

Also a pamphlet called 'Am I allowed?' From AIMS (association for improvements to midwifery services) offers practical info about your rights, particularly important if you do opt for a hospital birth) did you know that if you don't like a particular midwife for whatever reason, you can ask for a different one? Or that of your baby needs special care that you (or your partner) can accompany your child, they're not allowed to take them out of your sight unless you're happy for them to do so?

Sorry, lots of info, I'll shut up now. All the best x

[Afrohair]

It's still very early for you to be panicked or worried About birth.youve still got a lot of hurdles to come throughout pregnancy.try not to read too much I've had some good and bad I'm now on my 4th baby and opting a cezerean more because it's dangerous for me to birth naturally .but believe me you won't care about all that once your baby comes As it's your first baby it's highly likely you won't have any complications you Have everything going for you for a well thought out planned natural birth keep strong

[Bakingcupcake]

I had a great experience second time round. First birth i was induced and spent 3 days in hospital after duevto having an infection. This time i knew i wanted an epidural, anything as i didnt want any pain, well that did not go to plan. I got to hospital at 2.10pm, baby born at 2.24pm, gas and air only, i spent less than 24 hrs in hospital, myself and baby great! It was so much better than the first time, quick, etc etc. If i have another I would just go down the same route, you def dont need drugs, i was amazed at myself, felt like super woman after, and so nice for me and baby to go home in a short time after!

[Dungenness]

I would take one day at a time and enjoy your pregnancy and not worry too much as it’s early days. I highly recommend hypnobirthing techniques - you could try a download . I’ve got two boys - first labour and birth quite challenging and second quick water birth - so quick the midwives didn’t notice immediately his head was out! Neither went totally to plan but both very positive experiences. Try to do a course online or read on nhs about what happens during labour so nothing seems too weird - but otherwise be open minded. I think lots of women have a very positive experience but the internet tends to be full of the more extreme experiences- either horror stories or orgasmic home water births. The reality is somewhere inbetween!