Sleep regression 😱

[Solly-44]

Morning lovelies,

Hoping you’re all less tired than I am this morning! The title says it all really. I’ve been awake with my little boy since 3.30 am - same as last night and he slept badly but not as bad the few nights before.

I’ve heard about the biggy at 4 months but he’s only 11 weeks, and slept so well until this. He’s just fallen back asleep in the last half hour. I’m not sure what to do, any tips? How long does this last? Should I be waking him now or let him sleep?

A bit of context - he has his last feed (formula, I’m combination feeding) at midnight and then goes to bed. We got to the point where he’d sleep til 6.30 or even 7am on a good day, have a quick BF then sleep til 8 or 9am. We will be trying to bring his bed time forward soon but now doesn’t seem the time. He has very irregular naps through the day, anything between 10 mins and 2 hours. Again, I’m working on making them more regular! X

[Sunflower28]

Oh you poor thing! I’m not sure what to suggest. Is he awake and happy or does he seem distressed? Something bothering him? Whenever I’ve have trouble with my LO getting back to sleep, I lie her down next to me and pretend to sleep....would sometimes take an hour for her to drop off again but I realise that may be a bad idea if you’re very tired and not keen on co sleeping. Sometimes a change of scenery and walking around can work, staying in a dark environment though. Do you have support? Not easy coping with lack of sleep. Hope you are both ok? X

[Solly-44 in reply to Sunflower28]

Thank you! I like the idea of lying next to him, I’ve done this before when we were both awake and it did seem to relax him xx

[MissSaoPaulo]

Oh dear, hope it sorts itself out soon, sleep deprivation is so tough!!

I can only tell you what works well with us. Marked difference between day and night, though clothing, noise levels and light. My little one fed on demand and napped when she wanted during the day, in her basket and later on her playmat in the livingroom. Cot in bedroom only at night. We didn't close the curtains or anything and didn't try to be particularly quiet during her day naps, but bedtime in a quiet, dark room.

We also found it worked well to have set bath and bed routine at the same time every evening. She was very little and not able to recognize day/night of course, but it helped us organize ourselves better and stay sane and I think it got us all into good habits. Every baby and family is different and there's no magic formula but I think doing these things has contributed to our little one being a good sleeper, hope there's something here that can help you xxx

[Solly-44 in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Thanks hun! Xx

[Blue1986]

Hello fellow sleep deprived mother! My lo is a year old and we still haven’t had a full nights sleep, but have found that it does get better.

You said your last feed is 12pm, is that bedtime? That is very late and it sounds like your baby thinks it’s nap time rather than sleep time. He is probably exhausted and confused. What you need to do is to move bedtime way forward, I know you said you will do this soon, but you need to make it a priority. A night time routine would be great so he knows it’s time for bed. We eat, have a bath, bf then it’s time for sleep. When he was younger we would do a massage, which is impossible now. It’s ok for him to wake up to feed a couple of times, especially if he is bf, so I wouldn’t worry about that.

Is he sleeping in a dark room? Have you tried white noise? Is he warm enough/ too hot?

I would also advise getting some rest yourself, have somebody take him for a couple of hours. It’s exhausting, and mums need to refuel.

[Trio_of_babes]

Check out calm and bright sleep support on Instagram. Loads of balanced free advice and they girls don’t amazing and so so nice. It’s not for everyone I understand so please don’t get offended if it’s not for you. If what your doing works, then great if not check them out. I did for my third and now expecting number ;4 but couldn’t have if we hadn’t sorted sleep. Every 2 hours till 18 months x

[Solly-44 in reply to Trio_of_babes]

Thank you, I will definitely check them out! Xx

[AGKG]

Hi there

I would definitely keep a routine going. Bring bed time forward. Like the other mum said

From day one I have distinguished daytime from night time. So day time is noisy and like it would be with my 3 year old running around

Then around 6pm. I give them both a bath. . Dressed. Then it gets to 7pm. I will dim the lights and have quiet time while she has her bottle. Then to sleep in moses basket. If she wakes for a feed in the night (she is 8 wks)

I don't talk or give eye contact. I just change her nappy. Feed her and put her back to sleep

I really do believe routine is a must

It will get easier . Sending big hugs x

[Solly-44 in reply to AGKG]

Thanks lovely x

[Prosopon]

Hi from another sleep deprived mum! My almost 9 month old is often waking multiple times at night at the moment. His sleep has been completely erratic, sometimes sleeping through, sometimes feeding every 2 hours and sometimes having wakeful periods in the night where he is up for hours. His naps are erratic too and can be anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours!

I decided quite early on that sleep training is not for us. I really dislike a lot of the sleep literature out there. Advice like "put baby in the cot drowsy but awake" is particularly grating! And I think the whole "self-soothing" thing is nonsense. Not too sure how babies are meant to soothe themselves when they sleep in an empty cot and are incapable of doing anything other than cry if they feel hungry, too hot, too cold, had a bad dream etc!

So instead of trying to change my baby's sleep, I'm trying to change my thoughts and attitude. I remind myself that he's still so little, developing at an incredible rate and that this is bound to impact on his sleep. When I'm up with him in the night feeling completely exhausted and wanting to be in bed, I remind myself to treasure these moments where I cuddle, feed, rock and sing him back to sleep because they will not last forever and will actually only make up a tiny part of his life. I think about how I have sometimes had trouble sleeping myself, waking up because of hunger or because I'm cold, or simply for no reason at all and then realise that I can't expect my baby to sleep through when I often haven't slept through myself!

So apart from a little consistent naptime/bedtime routine, which we do to help our son unwind, we just go with the flow, letting him sleep as much as he wants, letting him nap when he needs it, rather than at set times etc. If he's asleep then I'm certainly not going to wake him unless I absolutely have to! I try to catch up on sleep in the day (though that's not always possible) and my partner gets up with the baby on weekend mornings so I can stay in bed. Mostly though I've just got used to feeling tired.

Sorry this is so long. I don't know if it's helpful at all or if I'm doing things "right" but this is just what feels natural to me. My son is growing so fast and I want to cherish every moment I get to spend with him, even if I'm up at 4 am, dealing with a very awake baby who just wants to chat and practise standing up! I know I won't be feeding, cuddling and rocking him to sleep forever (he will grow out of it when ready) so I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

[Samcz in reply to Prosopon]

Great reply

[Solly-44 in reply to Prosopon]

Thank you! And don’t be sorry for the long post, it’s really appreciated - I like the idea about our own attitude and thoughts xx

[QT314]

Hey Solly-44, I can only send you virtual hugs and support bc the 4 month sleep 'regression' can be very hard but it depends on the baby. For us it also started at 11 weeks and lasted a while but it usually doesn't last too long. For some it's a day or 2, for others 2 weeks. In theory it can last up to 6 weeks but might be much shorter than that so don't worry too much if you can.

Your lo's circadian rhythms are developing and it's a good thing and he might also be going through lots of things like teething, trying to learn to roll over, and he's definitely much more aware of the world now so it's a lot to take in all at once at this age.

I hope you can get some time to sleep at least during the day xxxx

[Solly-44 in reply to QT314]

Ah thank you, it is tough! You’re right too, he is developing so quickly at the moment. He’s only just getting to be able to hold his head up and look around, and has started chattering so lots going on right now which I’m sure effects sleep like you say xx

[CLCP]

Have you tried white noise throughout the night? I got my son into a routine at 10 weeks, bath, cuddles/singing, bed. Dreamfeed at 10.30pm. It worked well and we escaped the 4 month sleep regression. However, he did go through a very bad spell at 8 months and after one month of poor sleep, we did some light sleep training following guidance from a book by Lucy Wolf which solved the problem very quickly and my son was much happier.

The first six months are figuring out what works for you and your son, all the best!