Any tips welcome

[Amanda86]

Hey all,

I’m looking for some tips on helping my baby boy get into a better feeding routine.

He’s basically fed on demand from birth, something which midwifes said he’d eventually fall into a better routine when a little older (around 8 weeks) as his stomach would be bigger etc. He’s never fell into that routine and will be 11 weeks on Monday.

At the moment he will take anything from 2-4 ounces from his bottle and looks for more milk 2 hours later (bang on the 2 hours he’s like an alarm clock!!) I’ve managed to push him to 3 hours in between but he still looks for the next bottle at the original time from his 2 hourly schedule. I’ve also tried giving him 5oz (which he’s only finished in one go once) and again 2 hours later he was crying for more.

He shows all the hunger cues of trying to eat his hands, trying to nozzle my neck if I’m holding him, getting upset etc. I do reckon a lot of the time he probably is genuinely hungry because he doesn’t take enough at feeds.

He’s started to sleep better at night. 8pm is the time he seems to go to sleep (or at least it’s been this way for around a week now) he’ll sleep anything from 4-5.5 hours although more often it’s 4, so back up around midnight. The next part is where it’s most unpredictable, he’ll take the full 4oz bottle with no issue at this feed because he’s obviously hungry, I keep him upright for 30 minutes as he’s got reflux then I put him back down and he can then either sleep for another 3-4 hours or some nights he’s then up every 2 hours looking for a feed.

I’ve read that getting him into a better routine with his feeds over the day should help with his sleeping routine (hopefully) as he’ll feel more satisfied, I’m just very stuck on how to go about this.

He won’t take a dummy so can’t soothe him that way, taking him a walk is a hit or a miss as sometimes he’ll sleep and let me stretch it to the 3 hour mark but other times he’ll just cry and cry. I guess I do realise that the only way to do this is for him to have to go longer between feeds so that he is taking a proper feed each time and satisfying himself, rather than little amounts each time and just basically topping himself up. I just have no idea how to go about it.

If anyone has any tips it would be appreciated. Thank you 😘

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

Awwwww Amanda I wish I could, help you out my daughter was the, same and I jyst went with it. We co slept and I breast fed through night. His routine doesn't really sound that, bad I know it's, hard when your tired and some ppl having babies that sleep through all, night I was never that lucky. He's just a hungry baby and hell go through growth spurts as, he gets older and starts to feed solids it will get easier. Tbh I didn't establish a good routine in my eyes till she was 1and half.

Thinking of you hun your doing really well

😘💝

[Amanda86 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Hey,

Thanks so much for the reply. Lovely to hear from you. Hope your keeping well?!

I’m glad to hear he doesn’t sound too bad, quite a few people have commented saying he needs to be in a better routine, he shouldn’t be having bottles every 2 hours etc. Just makes you feel like your doing something wrong! 😥

I bottle feed but do realise he often doesn’t take enough to satisfy so I’m honestly not surprised at him needing milk 2 hourly!

We’re going to start weaning at 4 months (as its recommended for reflux) so that might settle him a bit more and help reduce his bottles (or it might not 😂).

Thanks for reassuring me that it’s all very normal and I’m not doing this all completely wrong. All I keep hearing is your making a rod for your own back, let him cry it out until he’s going 4 hourly I’m thinking I can’t do that! Xxx

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Amanda86]

Ppl love to put there two pence worth in. If your ok with it it's not harming him hun. Don't worry. Hell get out of it and like gou said you'll start weaning him at 4 month. He'll eventually settle hun. Just go with it unless you want a, strict routine then trial and error.

Hope your ok hun xx

[Amanda86 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Think you 😘 xxx

[Hidden]

Hiya I didn’t want to just read and run but I’m not really sure on any tips for routine. We never really had a routine at the beginning and I don’t think we really had one until about 4 months but I would just carry on with what baby wants and I’m sure one day he will just decide to change what he does. It obviously doesn’t help him having reflux the poor thing 😞.

Ignore what people say they love sticking their oar in. Every baby is different and how are they to know what your baby is like. My LG suffers from eczema and I get the whole have you tried this/that and I’m like no I’ll just let her suffer 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Your doing great and don’t ever forget that xx

[Amanda86 in reply to Hidden]

Hey,

Thanks for the reply. It’s so tough isn’t it - I think other people sticking their nose is just makes it so much worse! Making you feel your doing something wrong.

I personally don’t feel his routine is too bad, I would prefer he took bigger feeds less often because I know regular feeding isn’t good for his reflux but also reflux babies are known to eat little and often so maybe it’s just more comfortable for him that way.

Just fed up with people saying he should be in a routine now and he’ll be a nightmare if you don’t change him now etc. Glad to see others advise to just go with him like I have been, think I’ll just continue with that 🙂

Hope your well xxx

[Hidden in reply to Amanda86]

Other people definitely make you feel like your doing everything wrong! Like years ago it was let baby cry itself to sleep but I couldn’t do that.

We’ve only just started to get Florence to settle herself at night and the only way is her head touching the top of her next to me cot. No idea why! 😂. I know that’s no recommended but there’s nothing in her cot and she has a sleep bag

If your happy and can cope with his routine then it’s fine. Florence feeds every three hours still and has 7oz luckily no one has commented on it but as long as they are gaining weight fine then it’s ok xx

[Amanda86 in reply to Hidden]

If that’s what she likes and your doing it safely then I say go with it 🙂

I’m sick of all these guidelines, I know they’re there for a reason but god I’m a nervous wreck with it all to be honest lol xxx

[Hidden in reply to Amanda86]

I know what you mean it can really worry you sometimes xx

[roxannacar]

Oh he is only 11weeks, still very young. Probably just needs more time. Be a little patient.

[Amanda86 in reply to roxannacar]

Patience is something I’ve definitely got. Think I need to stop listening to people telling me what he should be doing and just go with the flow.

I’m a first time mum so constantly doubting myself and then other people telling me at his age he should be doing this and should be doing that etc, I’m just going to start ignoring them all from now on! 🙂👍 xxx

[friggens31]

Glad to hear that it's not just my baby that does this. He is breastfed and has reflux too he doesn't really sleep for long period either 4 hours is the max from about 9pm then it's every 2 hours. Same experience people saying he should be sleeping longer/having fewer feeds but he screams if we have left him any longer.

Really interesting you've been advised to wean a reflux baby earlier no one has mentioned this to us. Was that from the doctor? Mine has been useless and not have much support just went mental when I said we co sleep as only way to get through the night after that first sleep he does

[Amanda86 in reply to friggens31]

Hey,

Sorry to hear your experiencing the reflux with your baby - it’s tough isn’t it 😥 and very annoying when people are telling you baby should be doing this/that - I’m so wound up as my partner is now listening to them and telling me I’m giving in to baby when I lift him because he’s crying for a feed etc 😡

It was my Health visitor who mentioned about early weaning, she recommended 5 months but I’m doing it sooner (earliest it’s recommended is 17 weeks). I think as thicker food would be harder to come up it’s meant to help as it stops so much regurgitating/vomiting. I’ve had a look on google too and seems to be something a lot of people try when their baby has reflux. My plan is to use baby porridge (cow and gate which states 4-6 months on box) and see how it goes. It also should help as theoretically it should reduce feeds if making baby fuller, which should help with their reflux also.

Is your baby taking any medication? That’s a shame your doctor isn’t supportive 😥 xxx

[friggens31 in reply to Amanda86]

He's on baby gaviscon which has definately made a difference as he wasn't putting on any weight as he was sicking so much if it up. He's been on it about 4 weeks now and he's a little budda now thankfully. Is your little one on anything?

This hot weather is not helping he's feeding even more as he's thirsty but then he's being sicker.

Oh yeah if one more person says leave them to cry I'm going to make them come round and watch as he get himself so worked up and red and in this heat so sweaty and them not do anything!

I'm seeing my health visitor this week so gonna discuss with her as it totally make sense about the weaning and less vomiting. He's lactose intolerant though as well so not sure what he'll be able to have.

Everyone does keep saying things get better when they get to 3 months so if that advice turns out to be true hopefully we are nearly there ☺

[Amanda86 in reply to friggens31]

My little boy has gaviscon but made him very constipated so he’s now on ranintadine. He’s got silent reflux so not a lot of sickness but always making a face or becoming upset when acid comes up his throat 😥 it’s horrible.

That’s what I keep getting told - 3 months is the turn around so we will see lol.

Exactly, actually my HV (who isn’t very nice) told me to push his bottles to at least 3 hourly but preferably 4 hourly despite me telling her he screams the place down for it at 2 hours. Like you I felt like saying well you come and watch him scream and hold his breath while he gets in such a state crying because he wants his bottle abs he wants it now!! 😡 xxx

[roxannacar in reply to Amanda86]

I dont see how that can be right ... surely if baby gets reflux small and often is better than bigger amounts. I think as first time mums it's always a struggle, used to spend nights googling with my first! Do not advise it. Much more relaxed second time round!

[Amanda86 in reply to roxannacar]

Yep doesn’t make sense but actually the doctor who diagnosed his silent reflux at hospital also told me to stretch out his feeds to larger amounts and less bottles - both the doctor and my HV are older so maybe follow more old school rules I’m not sure but the doctor told me the more frequent feeding would be causing him more discomfort. I can’t even remember why she said this would be, but it just wasn’t possible to even do. Xx

[MummyMel]

Hi Amanda, I can't really offer much help as I'm one of them annoying lucky mums who's babies have always been great at feeding and sleeping. But a book was recommended to me when pregnant with my first, and after my third child I still read it for tips and reminders about what's coming next. It's by Gina Ford and it's called the contented little baby book. You can buy a second hand copy online for about £2. People forever tell me how happy my baby is, she hardly ever cries, is in a great routine and just smiles 24/7, even in her sleep (which is hilarious) so it's got to be worth a shot surely?!!!

Also, ignore people telling you he should be doing this or that, every baby is different, and you're doing a great job. Don't let anyone make you think differently. Your little man just obviously loves his food 🤣🤣

All the best xx

[Amanda86 in reply to MummyMel]

Hey,

Thanks very much for your reply. I actually did buy a book called the blissful baby expert, it just arrived the other day so I’ve only read small parts, the book gets amazing reviews but unfortunately it seems to be written with advice on what to do from the start, which is such a shame!

I will definitely start to ignore people. Your so right all babies are different, they can’t all be textbook! 🙂

I’m sure he’ll adapt to his own little routine soon enough 🤞 lol xxx

[MummyMel in reply to Amanda86]

Just another thought but have you looked into hungry baby formula?! I don't know much about it so might just be some more useless advice from me hahaaa!

[Amanda86 in reply to MummyMel]

I have seen this and did consider giving it a try, I might do that 🙂 xxx

[shinydrifloon]

Oh my goodness! This is almost an identical situation to me at the moment! My baby boy is only 5 weeks but exactly the same and I was really stressed about it! He only sleeps in 1-2 hour bursts (longest he has ever gone is about 4 hours but that was a one off) and feeds really frequently about 2-3oz, very rarely finishes a 4oz bottle. He also has reflux so needs to sit up a long time after feeds. I was reassured by the health visitor that this is totally normal and not to over read textbook baby routines or pay much attention to people advising letting him cry. I'm a first time mum and although I'm getting better I find it really distressing when he cries - I can barely get the bottle quick enough as he goes from 0-100 in about 10 seconds! It's stressful isn't it? Your post has given me hope though and I think there are actually far more newborns that do this than sleep through the night from day one and always finish bottle and have no wind, etc.

The HV said something very interesting that puts it into perspective: humans as the only mammals on the planet that put their babies down and away from them, all others hold them close until they can start doing things on their own and survive independently. Apparently human babies biologically need to be held or kept very close to become well adjusted and independent as they get older.

Thank you so much for your post it sounds to me like you are managing it extremely well and I hope I'm doing as well as you next month x

[Amanda86 in reply to shinydrifloon]

Hey,

Aww it’s so tough isn’t it? My boy is the exact same, he literally gives no time for bottles to be made he just starts screaming!! I’m so glad to see this seems to be normal for some babies (although it’s very hard)!

What you health visitor said makes a lot of sense, at antenatal we were taught you can never cuddle your baby enough, all the old school people are saying to me you handle him too much! 😡 like you I’m a first time mum so it’s all so new.

It sounds like your also doing an amazing job!! 😀 xxx

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Amanda86]

Your health visitor sounds great shubydriflioon. My daughter was held constantly for first few weeks she wouldn't come off the breast ( midwives and hv confirmed she was eating not comforting) by taking her away from me for a bit of a walk. A lot of ppl don't agree with it but we've co slept up to now she's 4 and loves her cuddles. She's happy and I'm happy. The thing is she's a very good girl also she doesn't tantrum never has when I take her to my hospital appointments I have lots she is good as gold "nurses and drs" are in total shock for how long she'll sit there patiently waiting. She speaks very well and is very emotionally altogether talks about how she's feeling and works out what can be done about it, extremely independent happy knows exactly what she wants child, not demanding never has been except for being fed which is normal, Now I'm wondering after what your health visitor said is she the product of being held close. I was thinking to do things differently with my son but I'm not gonna change it, only thing I'll do is maybe get him out my bed earlier. Thanks for this ladies xxx

[shinydrifloon in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Aww she sounds like a lovely girl 😊 I'll keep ignoring the old school advice about putting them down and letting them cry!

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to shinydrifloon]

I will too. Your both doing amazing. As long as you baby are, happy and, healthy don't let no one tell you different. 😘💝

[shinydrifloon in reply to Amanda86]

Thank you 😄 its reassuring when you hear mums coping with the same issues x

[Amanda86 in reply to shinydrifloon]

It really is!! Xxx

[Hidden]

Babies aren't supposed to sleep through the night, they should really be fed every 2 to 3 hours during the day with one 5 hour stretch at night, it keeps their blood sugars stable and protects them against SIDS. Lots of small meals are easier to digest and keep all their levels stable throughout the day. It sounds like your baby is doing that spot on.

As for sleeping at night, I know it's cliche but do you go to bed the same time baby does? Sleeping when they sleep has been a life saver for us, it means I'm rested to wake for night feeds. Alternatively, have you tried a dream feed before you go to bed? It may help your little one go on a bit later between feeds.

[Amanda86 in reply to Hidden]

I’m glad what he is doing sounds normal.

His sleeping for 4 hours has only started a week ago, before this it was 2 hourly all night so the last few days I’ve realised this is how his routine and I’ve been going to bed at 8pm wirh him.

I haven’t tried the dreamfeed, I have considered trying it and read a little about it. The only thing I worry about is he also suffers with colic so was a little worried about not managing to burp him (I can never seem to burp him well when he is sleepy) and maybe then causing him more discomfort if he ends up with wind 😥 I guess I can only try though xxx

[sugar_vee]

Hi Amanda86, keep doing what you are doing. I too had a reflux baby and he's now a healthy 12month old monkey! He too slept around 5 hours and then every 2-3 woke up for a feed. Little and often is the way to go with reflux babies.

I used to give him hipp organic anti reflux milk and ranitidine and i weaned him at 4months too. I used to give baby porridge for brekfast and cerelac later in the day. Only a few spoons and as soon as we started food he was more content and he would bring up less. I think bringing up less helped him settle alot too. By 6months he was sleeping longer and feeding better.

All babies are different however I hope an insight into our reflux journey may help you....

Keep doing what you are doing and enjoy your little one!

X

[Amanda86 in reply to sugar_vee]

Hey,

Thanks for the reply and lovely to see your baby is much happier now 🙂

I’m looking forward to weaning early as I do feel this will help - it’s silent reflux so not much vomiting but he does make a lot of faces as if he’s in pain when acid comes to his throat 😥

Thanks again for your reply, it’s really helpful xxx

[Chels976]

Hi Amanda, my son was 8lb 15oz when he was born. Between 1-2 weeks his routine was wanting feeding every 2-3 hours like an alarm clock too. When he was in hospital his routine went out the window completely. When he had come home at about 3 weeks old I put him on to hungrier baby milk- I started him on 3oz once he was drinking the bottle drink dry I would then increase his milk by an ounce each time. At 7 weeks old he start to sleep through the night, although some night it was still hit and miss. Occassionally waking at 3 o’clock for a bottle. At 8 weeks old he was having 7 bottles of 9oz during the day. This was due to him being hungry with the last bottle at 8.30 then waking at 5 for a bottle. He was put onto baby rice as this is now satisfying him and he has now gone down to 5 bottles of milk still on 9oz. But he is going longer with feeds and sleeping 8.30 till 6.30 the following morning. He is now 11 weeks old and he sleeps 8.30 till 7.30 now. It’s just takes time but if his a big baby he might need that bit more just to fill him up. I hope this helps xxx

[Amanda86 in reply to Chels976]

Hey,

Thanks for your reply. Sounds like your baby is doing well, that’s great 🙂

Did you find hungry baby helped? I had considered it however I used a milk thickner (carobel) which an ingredient in this is also used in hungry baby milk and this gave him really bad diarrhoea 😥

A couple of people have mentioned baby rice, how does that work? Where would I buy it? It might be something I could try xxx

[Chels976 in reply to Amanda86]

No worries chick. I’m glad to help.

I found that when I first put him on to the hungrier baby it was working for a little while. But they the feed times shortened again. So I then gave him baby rice which is more filling. So you can get this from any supermarket or even boots and Superdrug. You add the babies milk to it. And if they are still hungry you can give them what’s left of the milk in the bottle. I started with it being really sloppy to begin with and then you can slowly make it less sloppy as they begin to cope with it.

If his a big baby he may need that little bit more. Maybe try the hungrier baby milk first xxxx

[Amanda86 in reply to Chels976]

Thank you. I think he’s having a growth spurt now, he’s been going mad wirh the milk even more than normal 😂 he was the same with the other 2 growth spurts he had. I’ll see how he is once that’s passed and might give the hungry baby milk a go 🙂 xxx

[Embyj]

I remember that the bottle feeding guidelines i think its the la leche league are one oz every hour, but regardless, when i had my first last year, he fed every 40 minutes throught the day, didnt have reflux, and was breast fed. Finally, at three months, we got to an hour and a half between feedings! So its pretty normal, they still only have little tummies.

[Amanda86 in reply to Embyj]

Thank you 😊 xxx