Boring partner

[destiny121]

Does anyone else having a boring partner? I’m getting so fed up! He never wants to do anything, hardly socialises with anyone and is just happy to stay at home. He works all work and then comes the weekend and just wants to sit inside the house whilst I cook, clean, wash etc and it’s driving me nuts. Please tell me I’m not the only one. I’m on the verge of just telling him to forget it. We only live once and this can’t be life. Ps) he’s a brilliant dad and I can’t fault that but that’s not the point!! 😬😬

[Pasaeoco01]

Hey there! This is a difficult one isn’t it.

Just out of interest before your little one came along did you both go out and socialise? Or is it only since you’ve had a child?

I know when I was on maternity leave when the weekend came around I was ready to go out for trips or to see family but my husband was ready to chill out at home after working all week.

It was quite difficult as we seemed to be at odds with what we wanted but it did pass and we were soon back to our normal selves having fun and doing lots.

Maybe leave baby at home with your partner at the weekend and treat yourself to some me time!!

Having a baby can make anyone want to get some down time!

Hope that helps x

[destiny121 in reply to Pasaeoco01]

To be honest he’s always been a bit quiet and enjoyed being indoors. We use to do A bit more as a couple before baba but now he’s even more so of a recluse to be honest. I’m bubbly... outgoing and always up to be out and about. We struggled for around 4 years to even have a baby and at that time I didn’t mind always being at home and only going out now and again. But now my confidence is coming back and I feel I’m getting back to myself again finally... and I’m questioning whether we’re actually right for each other at all. I feel so guilty feeling like this but it’s how I feel. I want to enjoy our baby now toddler and do things and enjoy life but he just seems happy with a boring simple one 😬😬

[MiaJosie]

I think this is quite common. And with quarantine I feel it makes it even harder because we're all used to staying indoors. We are 4 recently wed couples who are doing a relationship course over Zoom. I think all of us girls complained that the guys didn't put enough effort into planning outings! We also all wanted our husbands to take the initiative rather than having to tell him. Try not to worry too much. Maybe think of ideas on how to make it easier for you to do things outside. If you prepared some suggestions on activities to do and asked him to choose one - would he be up for it? Sometimes its not unwillingness but just lack of ideas. Trip to the pub in the sun now that things are reopening?

Another thing, obviously I don't know you at all, but I was so glad to read that you're getting back to yourself. If you have grown a lot recently, maybe it's also a matter about communicating your new needs and wishes. If you've been spending time in one way for a long time it may take some time to readjust. I think if he really understood that it is important to you he would be willing to make the effort.

Best of luck x

[Pasaeoco01 in reply to MiaJosie]

I think there are some really valid points here. I very often find myself raging about something my husband hasn’t done or suggested but as he tells me ‘Im not a bloody mind reader, tell me what you’re thinking and we can talk’!!!

Talking about how you’re feeling had got to be worth a try xx

[destiny121 in reply to MiaJosie]

I think you’re absolutely right... I’m changing and feeling like the old me before infertility took me away so rehabs I need to tell him how I feel and go from there. I hate the deep conversations and bearing my soul like that but hopefully it will make him see where I’m coming from... thanks for the advice lovely 😘😘

[Seb9]

If my husband didn't work, didn't help me out around the home and got mad with me for wanting more the ps4 would be out the window and if the husband didn't buck up his ideas, would be out the door!

I would not settle for that.

[LKT1 in reply to Seb9]

I agree. Raising a child and looking after a home is a team effort!

[Seb9]

I'm very lucky, my husband does a lot around the house and is very hands on with our daughter and works hard to provide for us.

He had however found lockdown extremely hard, almost to the point of depression, that he's not wanted to do anything and felt very anxious about getting ill or making us ill.

Have you spoken to your husband about why he doesn't want to do anything or about the different things you want? Or may be that he's happy just spending time as a family when he's not working but doesn't realise that you're bored after being at home all week?

[Meganb24]

I know what u mean!!

Mine is the same x