Searching for advice-pregnant

[Baby-g]

I sit every night searching online for advice...im 7 mth pregnant...my first baby...my (ex) partners 4th...he was off and on with (1st babys) mum but had another (2nd baby) with her...even went to birth knowing he didnt want to be with her... and left straght after...after a few urs and a good few women he had another (3rd) baby and he walked away again...u maybe saying im silly but have only just found all this out and i asked him to go...what is the difference with my baby (4th)...am i rite to have distance...i dont even wanna try and i saw the same patern the others did months ago...its now near birth time and i would like to say not to be there...i feel womens intuition hel not stick around...is it just me or am i rite to break away after finding all this out...please help...x

[Flosser]

Trust your instincts...

Sorry you're having a tough time.

How did you feel after you told him to go?

[Baby-g in reply to Flosser]

I felt good. Managed to get the house done and even tho pregnant i managed to decorate and now house is ready for baby. Have more down days than ups tho.x

[Joss1982]

Sorry to hear this at this very point in your life. Truth is, as he has done to other three women like yourself, so will he do it to you. It's become a pattern and if this person doesn't see anything wrong with this and the impact on his three other kids, please you are forewarned! Just take care of yourself and the lil one.

[LucyJJ]

I’d be inclined to say he may well do it again, but I think you need to look at your relationship.

People do ‘grow up’ and people do change.

How is your relationship overall? Is he supportive? Is he caring? Is he excited about the baby? If the answer is no then I’d probably do this by myself if I were you. But if he’s actually caring and excited, i wouldn’t cut him off just in case he may have a repeat...

[Baby-g in reply to LucyJJ]

Not excited...hes away on a lads holiday while i have braxtons...ive kept my distance and keep asking not to txt while hes on nights out or holiday. Its alot on me but sure it would be more hassle with him here.

[Elibee48]

Hey. Congrats on pregnancy ! How long have you been with him? How long was he with this others? Sometimes people can change. If you love him and he treats you right and is respectful then maybe discuss your concerns and just take it slow. This time it might be different there is no way to know for sure until after the baby. Just make sure you look after yourself and the baby as priority xx

[Baby-g in reply to Elibee48]

Its been a year a mighty worldwind of a year.lol. he wasent with other mums long. I thought wed have holidays and do the couples thing before our news but wonderful news it is. Its just came with alot of confusing and arguments.xx

[Emma_79]

I am in a very similar situation to you, this is my exes 4th child also, it's been a difficult pregnancy where i found out he was cheating with his ex (has no kids with her!) and kept promising he wanted to be with me. He went back and forth for a few months but i stopped it for mine and baby's health. He only showed interest in the baby when trying to get my attention and now i have made it clear i won't talk of 'us' only the baby, i hardly hear from him. He's not great with the other kids but does see them. I have the same issues with regards to whether to cut him off, however i did not know my Dad and i want to give him the chance to be there for her, even though deep down i know he'll let her down. Re the birth, had he attended scans etc i would've invited him, but as he has shown little interest i think it's best i keep the birth as calm/relaxing for me as possible which means him not being there

[Baby-g in reply to Emma_79]

Yeh. Mine came to a scan but started an argument in waiting room.lol. noo good! But glad u replyed as im thinking am i letting him go for no reason or am i thinking clearer than ever just now. Same as u with the thought hel let me n baby down so mite just go with it. I spoke to him last night and voiced all this but he is a deflector so its always a mood im in or my hormones...so we get nowhere.xx

[Emma_79 in reply to Baby-g]

Don’t let him spoil this special time, do whatever needed to protect yourselves from upset.

It’s a bit easier for me as he’s with someone else so there’s no discussions to have really other than baby.

Good luck, everything works out in the end x

[Baby-g]

It should now. Found out today hes away of holiday nxt week so within my 7 month of pregnancy hes been away twice...seems to me ive made the right choice.😦

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

I agree with the decision you've made. Takes a real man to be a dad sounds like he's a joke. But I do think for your own sanity and when your child is older you can honestly explain all this. just for your own piece of mind let him know he's got a chance to be there for his child (I know and feel it's probably pointless) but once he let's child down that's it only one chance. You'll feel you've done everything you can for you and your family and can explain that if /when he let's you down. So sorry for your situation honey keep strong and good luck xxxx

[Baby-g]

Yeh he was txting me while away in spain so i mentioned my pains and that with it being braxtons it may be there for nxt few weeks and his reply was hes off bk on drink as he is on holiday...again im in the position of asking for no contact and trying to distance myself. Never been so confused about sumthing i already know the outcome of. Wish i can just have baby and relax.x