Keep it?

[Shiroangel0]

Hello everyone, myself and my partner just found out im 3 weeks pregnant, he is over the moon, same as my family.. but i dont know what to do.. i dont feel "ok" emotionally and mentally. Everyone around us is saying we can do it and in grateful for my familys support.. but i just dont know what i should do.. ive always wanted my own.. id go shopping and always be drawn to baby clothes etc.. but now it just feels like i want it gone.. is this normal? Has anyone else felt this way? Like a weight is is on your chest and you want to cry? Any advice os appreciated as of i am getting ending it id want to do it soon. Thanks.

[Lovefood1984]

Perhaps you do want it but now you’re pregnant you’re wondering if you want the life change? It’s a big thing having a baby and if you love the life you have now perhaps that’s why you are wondering what to do? My little one is 4 weeks and 4 days and even though she was IVF and very much wanted I do miss our old life too being able to do what you want when you want and getting some sleep! I also grow to love her more each day and now we are noticing her learning stuff which I find so cute (the tiny gurgles have started). Can you go to the GP and get some counselling? (Although I think you have to have some anyway if you want to end your pregnancy) It may help you work through why you feel the way you do. Whatever you decide I wish you all the best x

[Shiroangel0 in reply to Lovefood1984]

Thank you for the reply. Im going back to my GP next week ill speak to her then x

[Hidden]

Have you talked to your partner about the way you’re feeling? Being pregnant can be abit scary thinking of your future. I’m onto number 3 they say 3 is the hardest amount my partner has no kids yet it’s been a while since I’ve done baby 24/7 and I like my bit of freedom and lie in’s as mine are 12&10.

[ChloeLeighCorn]

I wouldn’t make any decisions right now. You’re bound to feel all over the place at the minute. Your hormones are changing and can affect how you’re feeling as well as pregnancy being a scary thing to cope with in general. Give yourself some time to come to terms with the pregnancy. You’re only 3 weeks, that’s really not that far along you plenty of time to decide what’s best for you. I’d say if you’ve always wanted a baby, the problem isn’t the pregnancy being wanted but there’s something that’s holding you back from accepting it. Fear of pregnancy and birth is completely normal. Speak to your doctor about it, explain how you’re feeling. They should be able to help xx

[SilkeP]

We lost a baby in January and are currently 22 weeks with our third. This baby was/is very much wanted! I was so worried I wouldn't be able to conceive again after what happened in January (involved surgery and removal of one Fallopian tube). So I KNOW this baby is very wanted... and yet I now have days where I wonder whether it's the right thing. My other two are 3 and 5 and a pretty good team. Money is a bit tight, so a third will just add to the worries... and yet I know that once he's born, there won't be ANY doubt that we'll absolutely fall in love with him and life without him will seem impossible.

I had it with my first, wondering how life would change and knowing nothing will ever be the same again... and then with No2, thinking I won't be able to give my first the same attention anymore and felt like I was betraying my firstborn.

My husband wanted our children as well, and yet when he found out we were expecting No1 he ABSOLUTELY stressed out. He literally went crazy, disappeared for the night (he NEVER does that) and told me he can't do it. This went on for about 5 weeks. It got to the point of us attending a consultation for a termination. I didn't want a termination but he was struggling so much with it. We went through such a rough patch. Not even a private scan helped, I thought he'd see the little one on the screen and feel pure love... he just stared at it in shock. I can't tell you when exactly it changed and I was concerned when my bump started to grow, worrying he'd stress out more, but he really came round to it and feels so so rubbish now that he ever felt that way. He was over the moon at birth and that hasn't changed since (and he was happy to have No2 a year later). Obviously everyone is different but I think it can be quite normal to stress out when it is actually happening.

Once ours were born, life just changed and adjusted and I couldn't be happier. Yes, there are days where I wish I could just have 'me', but there are also days where I feel life would somehow not be worth living if I didn't have my little rebels. Personally, I currently worry about the world, the politics, the environment and all and feel pretty depressed to the point where I feel I may need to check it with the GP. However, I also know that hormones do really odd things with you during pregnancy.

If you feel you've always wanted children, and as you said you've been drawn to baby clothes and your current pregnancy was planned... then I'd trust on those feelings, but try and get help dealing with the others.