So angry could barely sleep

Morning ladies,

I’m about to unleash the worst mood ever. Maybe I’m over reacting I feel like I can’t tell due to hormones!!

Anyway bit of background - I’ve got cystic fibrosis. (Lung disease) I’m 11 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I told my manager I was pregnant, as I half know her outside of work. But I told her during work hours I was pregnant and I told her when I was planning on telling the company. She agreed to keep this hush at least until my 13 weeks was up. (She’s prebiously had a miscarriage so thought she’d understand)

I have been off work, and in the hospital for 2 weeks. (This isn’t unusual for me)

She has returned to work from a holiday and told colleagues I’m pregnant without asking if this was ok. My pregnancy is very high risk, and I’m already stressed out, and feel like she has seriously over stepped the mark!! There was no need to know basis - she told me people had “guessed” I don’t remotely see why as I’ve not had sickness etc at work! So are they mind readers???

I have this is text messages, I told her I was annoyed that she’s broken confidentiality, and she replied saying she would speak to me today.

I’m so annoyed as no one in my family knows, and a gossipy girl at work has a connection to my home town where all my family live still!!

Arghhh! Needed to get that off my chest! Feel like I should be seeking legal advice!!

[Sisi14]

Aw that’s terrible hun and as she’s a manager that’s unprofessional and she could get into trouble if you Persued it. I can understand why you are angry, especially when you’ve not told anyone let alone your family and having health issues and being high risk . You have a right to rant my lovely. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Sisi14]

Just a pain in the arse! As if I’m not stressed out enough already with everything!! Ugh! And now if my scan doesn’t go well. I’ve got to face these people!

[Sisi14 in reply to Hidden]

I know Hun it’s wrong of her and very unprofessional!! I wish you well with your scan and I hope you get this solved too xx

[sweetilemon]

I'd be fuming! ! For your sake try to take a deep breath, roll your shoulders and don't stress too much but I do agree this is out of line! We had a similar issue with family and the 'they guessed' seemed to be an attempt at an excuse to avoid responsibility. The fact she's in a position of trust athat work makes it worse though. You could probably raise a grievance but might end up being more stressful long term.

[roxannacar]

Its frustrating however I'm not sure that legally you would get anywhere . Spilling secrets isn't illegal unless you're a doctor breaking confidentiality and even then there are instances where one can do that. I doubt managers at work are covered by anything legal although it would be the sensible thing to do.

Try and listen to what she has to say first, maybe there is a reasonable explanation, maybe not.

[Hidden in reply to roxannacar]

I’m pretty sure breaking confidence is quite a big thing. My company is huge on confidentiality. And she’s broken rule number one!

[roxannacar in reply to Hidden]

Fair enough... worth having a look at the company's policy. Just dont di anything rash though if it might get you nowhere apart from grief from both sides.

[Hidden]

As you told her at work and she is your manager I would take it to HR, in most companies you don't have to tell your employer until 25 weeks.

You told her in confidence and had a belief that she not only understood that, but also agreed to hold that confidence. She way over stepped the mark, even if people had guessed, that does not give her the right to tell, as a manager she should have just said that she cannot comment on the health of her staff.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yeah definitely, I don’t understand how anybody would guess. I guess it’s just stressing me out even more about the connection to my home town as I’m pregnant and not married. Big no no in my family due to religious beliefs. So I prey my granny doesn’t hear before I manage to tell her!!

[Hidden]

She didn’t even bother getting in touch with me - I’m going to go to citizen advice and just read her the riot act! I’m due back on Tuesday - the same day as my scan! Argh