Need a rant...

[Major2116]

Sick of reading posts about people using the 'pull out' method or after pill or using no contraception then being upset that they're pregnant! People need to realise there are people in this world who have lost babies/children or can't have kids!

We have been blessed with our rainbow boy who is nearly 7 weeks old and although we want another baby, we want to wait until our son is older until we expand our family so I've gone to the doctors and gone back on the pill. It took me all of about 20 minutes to go to my appointment then get my prescription which by the way was FREE (UK). It's really not that hard!

[Hidden]

Completely agree. These posts are really annoying me and upsetting. Took me over three years, two IVF’s and a miscarriage to get my baby girl.

I get that people get into situations but when it’s as stupid as the pull out method or not being on contraception I just get so angry and to be asked to be wished luck for a termination! 😡

P.s hope your enjoying motherhood xx

[Major2116 in reply to Hidden]

So sorry to hear you had a hard time hun! Your baby girl is so precious! Exactly, it's infuriating when people would give anything to have their baby or to get pregnant.

I love being a mum! It's hard work but every sleepless night is worth it! Seeing my fiancé with our son just melts my heart! We are truly blessed! Hope you're enjoying motherhood too! Xx

[Hidden in reply to Major2116]

I know what you mean. I feel the same about my husband it’s so lovely. I’ve never felt so happy. I’m just loving every second 💗 xx

[Hidden]

This forum is here to enable anyone with a child birth related question to do so in a safe and non judgmental environment and hopefully get the information or help they need. There will therefore be questions of all types and we can’t and shouldn’t filter out or publicly vilify people with certain types of problems and worries. Unfortunately there are women that are ignorant to the real risks of unprotected sex or those that have unprotected sex for years and never get pregnant. They are still entitled to help and support. NCT’s vision is “of a world in which no parent is isolated and all parents are supported to build a stronger society.”

Why shouldn’t women be wished luck for a termination? It’s scary, it’s risky and it’s psychologically and physically tough. Are we asking for those people to suffer in silence? Yes it can be hurtful to those who are desperate to have children but your on a childbirth forum and these women need support too.

And Major yes, where you live you found it very easy to get contraception. But women on this forum post from India, Africa etc where it might not be as easy. Where family planning information or support might not be as readily available.

No one should feel ashamed to ask for help, it should be offered readily to anyone that needs it.

[Major2116 in reply to Hidden]

I understand your point but those people who use such methods knowing full well they can get pregnant and then complain about it when they do? What were they expecting to get as an end result? A pat on the back?

I put UK because I understand other countries it may not be as easy for then to get contraception but those in the UK have no excuse. They give out condoms at clinics and give other methods of contraception free.

Yes abortion is a scary decision and I understand some circumstances that women can get pregnant involuntarily which is a position no one should be put in.

Having sex knowing you can get pregnant then posting it in ways such as 'wish me luck in my procedure ☺' will obviously offend people like myself who have lost children.

I have had friends who have had abortions for reasons such as baby having Zika virus which was one of the most difficult decisions my friend had to make and I tried to help her as much as possible. But people are having unprotected sex who don't want even want a baby. It's a joke. It isn't just myself who feels this way either. If people put themselves in that position then see your GP INSTEAD of airing it on a forum that your gonna have an abortion to people like myself who have lost which has caused me to suffer from anxiety and depression. So yes I am gonna be judgemental about those people because we have had children taken away from us and gone through the pain which we still feel every day. We now have a little boy who is our miracle baby, he's so precious to us. Yet people talk about aborting their baby like they're just gonna throw away some rubbish!

[Lyndsaytw79 in reply to Hidden]

I think the post we are all thinking about refers to the fact the the girl put a smiley face at the end of her good luck requests. I think it felt like a kick in the teeth to some women.

[Hidden in reply to Lyndsaytw79]

I didn’t see that and that makes me feel uncomfortable just reading about it. I wouldn’t deem that as normal though? I’ve never seen anyone else smiling about having an abortion on here. All women take risks in their lives. Smokers know the risks of cancer, women who lay their newborns on their fronts know the risks of SIDS, pregnant people know the risks of eating unpasteurised cheese but some people take the chance regardless and I just personally think they still deserve the same help and respect as anyone else if they are faced with the consequences. X

[jenna01]

While I agree on both sides, I also feel that this highlights such a deeper problem - the state of sex education in almost every country seems to be lacking. It shows there are lots of gaps in people’s knowledge from a young age, particularly when you see the posts from terrified 16/17 year olds who genuinely don’t know how they’ve ended up pregnant. I get that no one likes to talk about sex education but it’s obviously not being done well in schools, so maybe it’s time to take it upon ourselves going forward and stop treating it as such a taboo subject and teach our own kids about sex and contraception?! And in a manner that is equal - you still see so many boys who don’t think unprotected sex affects them at all and that they can do what they want because ‘it’s the woman’s problem to use contraception’ . . .

Major2116 you have opened a right can of worms here 😂 but I get people need to be sensitive to the situations of other people, particularly here on a subject that is so close to so many people.

[roxannacar in reply to jenna01]

With young people I agree there might be an educational lack both from school and parents... I must say I never had proper sex Ed at school my parents never really discussed it but I remember looking stuff up and reading the agony aunt columns on bliss and just 17 😮 I think most people having sex know they can get pregnant they just think it's not gonna happen to them...

I find it very frustrating tho as in the uk you have good access to healthcare with. Free contraception... if you don't know you can book in with the gp or family clinic and discuss your options...

I recall when I was 16, back home and I asked a gp for the pill and I was made to feel ashamed as I wasn't married. People in the uk are so lucky and (many) don't know it!

[Major2116 in reply to jenna01]

Completely agree. Sex ed should be better in schools. Our sex ed class was terrible. The only bit I remember was them teaching us how to put a condom on. Not about how easy it can be to get pregnant which needs to be taught. I also think they should be informed about what comes with having a baby like the Labour, birth, finances and how your life dramatically changes.

Roxannacar it's sad that you were made to feel that way! I can imagine how frustrating it is for people who want to be on contraception that don't have it as good as we do in the UK.

[jenna01 in reply to Major2116]

Agreed! You see in American sitcoms how their sex Ed classes involve having a doll that cries and needs feeding and changing etc, I wonder if that actually works as an educational tool?! But seriously teaching about the financial implications would be SO beneficial in schools! Not even just related to childcare but that’s a whole other topic. The amount of women who have a sense of entitlement to have kids and be funded by the taxpayer is infuriating, like the ladbible article about a woman who was pregnant with her 3rd baby and was ‘forced to abort’ it because she found out she won’t get benefits for a 3rd?! Really?! ‘Even if my partner and me got jobs we couldn’t afford it’ 🤦🏼‍♀️

Anyway. Roxanna you are so right, we are so lucky here with the access and funding we have, but without the education to back it up people just don’t know what is available and where to seek help from, this is something that needs to be more publicly advertised.