Miscarriage

[Shughesy98]

Hey guys so I was just wondering how long it took you to recover from your miscarriage (if you had one) I had a miscarriage about 3-4 months ago and i still find myself struggling and beating myself up about it? I’m really sorry for your loss and I hope you have found race with it and yourself xxxx

[Major2116]

So sorry for you loss hun. We lost our first at 9 and a half weeks but thought I was 11 as baby had got stuck in my cervix. We found out on the 8th of December 2016 that our angel no longer had a heartbeat. We found out we lost our second on the 15th of April 2017 (my sister's birthday), I was 5 and a half weeks.

I'm currently 23+3 with our rainbow boy. I can honestly say I've never truly recovered. It was a year since we lost out first 2 days ago and I cried and lit our memorial candle. I have struggled with depression and anxiety since losing them and I think about them everyday. I like to think they picked out our miracle boy especially for us to bring into the world.

If you want to talk, I'm happy to lend an ear xx

[Sisi14 in reply to Major2116]

Congratulations to you on your rainbow baby boy I wish you well after your sleeping angels. I had 2 sleeping angels in August, but I’m ready and starting again taking each day as it comes xx

[Major2116 in reply to Sisi14]

Thank you hun! He's doing really well so far!

Sorry to hear about your angels! It's one of the hardest things to go through but never give up hope! Wishing you all the best! Xx

[Sisi14 in reply to Major2116]

Aw that’s good news I’m glad all is going well and o wish you and your little family all the best for 2018! Thank you for your lovely words xx

[Major2116 in reply to Sisi14]

And to you hun xx

[Shughesy98]

I just feel like I’m battling a battle with myself everyday and I’m constantly loosing. I think the thing that hurts the most was I didn’t even know I was pregnant and then to loose my child without being aware. It doesn’t help that I constantly blame myself. I did a lot in the first few weeks without even knowing about it. And I can’t look back at my engagement photos because I would of been pregnant at the party which also now I think about it explains why I was exhausted by the time it came to the evening

[Major2116 in reply to Shughesy98]

We bought a remembrance candle, had a key ring made and had a heart necklace made with wings. Strange as it seems, it helps me. If you're really struggling hun then I'd mention it to your doctor.

I blamed myself for ages, but eventually it'll eat you up hun. You need to try and stop blame yourself. With my current pregnancy, we took a holiday to Croatia after the rough year we'd had. We got drunk so many times and smoked so much. A week after we got back I found out I was pregnant. I wrecked myself with guilt but I didn't know and it hasn't affected him, thank god.

It wasn't your fault hun. There was nothing you could of changed or done differently. I know the feeling of battling yourself. I am currently on meds to try and ease my mental health. Not saying it's the answer but I also had counselling which helped. Worth a try xx

[Shughesy98 in reply to Major2116]

I’ve had counselling but I’ve stopped now and now that I’ve stopped I feel kind of lost I have no one to real off how I’m feeling about it all. I am thinking of going back though because it’s all too much at the moment especially because I’m extremely ill at the moment xx

[Major2116 in reply to Shughesy98]

Sorry to hear you're feeling ill! If you think that is the right decision for you hun then I'd definitely go back and have a few more sessions. I had 6 weeks and to be honest I probably should of had more but I thought I was okay when I wasn't. Sorry to hear you haven't really got anyone to confide in :(. It may seem slightly strange talking to someone you dont know about it but everyone needs someone hun xx

[Shughesy98 in reply to Major2116]

It’s actually helpful to talk to someone who has also been through it as well. Thank you so much xx

[Major2116 in reply to Shughesy98]

Anytime hun. It's easier to talk to someone who understands. Wishing you all the best for the future! Xx

[Georgina_D]

I was 9 weeks pregnant when I started bleeding and by week 11, it was all over. Physically it took 3 months (back pain, weakness, bleeding for 58 days). I took a month off work due to depression and to physically recover from the continuous blood loss. 5 months later I felt ready to try for another baby. Even when pregnant, I sometimes cried for the one I lost. I now have a healthy baby and feel over the loss of my first pregnancy. Hope you feel better soon. X

[Shughesy98 in reply to Georgina_D]

Thank you for telling me your story I am so sorry for your loss xx

[romaluna2015]

Hello

I’ve had 4 now and not fully recovered from them . The first one happened when I was 17 and the most recent one in January 2017. The one I haven’t gotten past the most is the one in January it was a blighted ovum and for me was the worst of the 4. My advice would be to take it Day by day step by step. It’s okay to feel the way you do. My advice would also be don’t feel afraid to talk about how your feeling . It’s okay to not feel okay about something xx

[Shughesy98 in reply to romaluna2015]

Sorry for your losses thank you for the advice xx

[romaluna2015 in reply to Shughesy98]

Thank you. And your welcome xx

[Edith22]

I had a miscarriage 10 months ago & i used to beat myself up for it but things happen for a reason. Now 10 months later im 5 weeks pregnant. But it took me 10 months to try again. And luckily it only took me the first try. So i would say wait a little & dont beat yourself up for it. The right time will come....im sorry for your loss...best wishes for you!☺️

[Shughesy98 in reply to Edith22]

Thank you lovely sorry for your loss too and congratulations xxx

[EM95]

I’m sorry for your loss. I myself had a miscarriage back in 2014, and to be honest, i still don’t think i have gotten over their loss, i was 9 and a half weeks, my partner now (I wasn’t with at the time) he takes me to light a Chinese lantern to remember my little angel baby. I had to have an ovary removed too and was told my chances had gone down. I with luck and trying managed to get pregnant again, i’m now 23 weeks, but not a day goes by where i’ve forgotten. I’ve even embraced them by getting a set of angel wings for my Christmas tree, and that we hang up over our bed any other time. If you need anyone to speak too, i’m always at hand x

[Shughesy98 in reply to EM95]

Thank you lovely I am so sorry for your loss and congratulations on your pregnancy now x

[VloandKmp]

I had one in 2009 it still plagues me a little, I was suicidal for about 6 months I thought it was my fault. But a t 6 weeks it's no one's fault. You are 90% likely to loose your very first pregnancy as your body sees it as a foreign body and tries to cure it like a parasite. Even now with my second pregnancy at 29weeka and 5 days it worries me that it will happen again. It takes a couple of years for it to really get easier. Take your time and it's ok not to feel ok. Talk to a councillor if you need to. When you have a miscarriage you can go to drs and request miscariage councelling. Allow yourself to go through the mourning process but remember. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. God bless.

[Shughesy98 in reply to VloandKmp]

Thank you for the advice and sorry about your loss x

[Elleb2017]

I had a miscarriage nearly a year ago (found out 2 days before christmas 2016). I didnt know i was pregnant and it came as a massive shock to me and my husband. I still think about what happened and it took me and my husband a long time to talk about it. I honestly think you need to talk about it as soon as you can. Me and my husband are currently trying for a baby but, the loss of our first one will always stay with us. We have finally spoke about what happened and think that it has made us stronger as a couple.

So sorry for your loss and here if you fancy a chat. Please enjoy christmas as it was so close to christmas last year I didnt celebrate at all. This year I am going to celebrate that me and my husband got through such a difficult year xxx

[Shughesy98 in reply to Elleb2017]

Thank you for telling me your story. I am sorry for you loss and I hope so much that you have a child without any complications xxx

[Joyblessing]

Take heart and be strong so that you can keep on moving for a better tomorrow.

[Hidden]

I just miscarried 2 weeks ago I was 12 weeks the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks I was upset it was totally unexpected. I was randomly emotional 😭 at times. But I’m more than ready to be pregnant again I am 37 time isn’t on my side. I see my daughters friends Mam who’s 24 weeks pregnant with her bump I do feel sad it’s not me this time. You have to move forward but I think there’ll will be moments this year like when I was meant to be due a sadness maybe it’ll always be there.

[Shughesy98 in reply to Hidden]

I’m normally one of those people who can get over deaths really quickly and yes every now and then I get upset about them but this has really got me down. This Christmas isn’t even exciting which I normally am excited but just can’t get into the festive spirit no matter how hard I try

[Hidden]

Yeah being so close to xmas it’s hard to get in the festive spirit when your sad about the baby you’ve lost. I feel just get xmas out the way and start fresh next year.

[Shughesy98 in reply to Hidden]

This is the same as what I’m feeling sorry for your loss by the way

[Hidden in reply to Shughesy98]

Sorry for you loss too x do you have any other children? I feel if it was my first pregnancy I would feel a lot worse and scared to try again.

[Shughesy98 in reply to Hidden]

No I don’t which is why I am so worried about trying again plus we have just found out that my partners family has Huntington’s disease which makes me also question if that’s the reason my body fought off the baby

[Hidden in reply to Shughesy98]

It’s really common to miscarry in the first 12 weeks but rarely happens again so I’ve read. Every woman who has miscarried has to have that worry.

I don’t know about Huntington’s disease being a factor in it maybe ask a midwife.

Hope you feel better soon and can enjoy xmas xx

[Shughesy98 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you and I hope you are feeling well. Enjoy your Christmas too xx

[Shughesy98]

I find myself slowly getting better each day it still kills inside but the pain is getting easier to deal with. I am sorry to hear about you having 3MC and here is me struggling with one! I hope you find peace! The thought of trying again is terrifying me but I would like another one day eventually! Good luck with the surrogacy xxx