Should or Should I Not: So next week... - Pregnancy and Par...

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Should or Should I Not

18 Replies

So next week Monday I can find out the sex of the baby but I'm really trying not to give into the urge of finding out and leaving it as a surprise at birth.......but I feel a little pressured too know eg shopping for baby ect......what do you guys think?

18 Replies
CrumbleBee profile image
CrumbleBee

Don't let people pressure you. It's not the end of the world for friends/relations to buy in neutral colours. Personally, I go back and forth, but at the moment feel that I'd find out because I dislike the idea of doctors knowing something about the kid that I don't. However, I wouldn't tell anyone else, because I disagree with the relentless pigeonholing of people by gender that goes on... just because it's got a Y chromosome doesn't mean it'll like football etc.

Up to you, ultimately. Hope my musings offered some help, somehow. :)

in reply toCrumbleBee

Thank you crumblebee for your advice x

roxannacar profile image
roxannacar

It really is a personal decision. I decided to find out with both mine...

But I know who didn't. As for shopping I'd stick to gender neutral for most things eg things like buggy etc as if you have more than one you'd probably want to use again... As more clothes buy gender neutral and you can shop more once baby is born.

Ultimately it's up to you

in reply toroxannacar

Thanks Roxannacar x

JNDuce12-13 profile image
JNDuce12-13

I found out with my 2 but I wish I’d of had it as a surprise but didn’t have enough self control at my scans. You could always ask the midwife to write it down for you and put it in an envelope, that way you could give it to someone in your family so if you find something specifically boy or girl that you love they can get it and keep it till the baby is here x

in reply toJNDuce12-13

Thanks JNduce I think I might just do that x x

You could always get the sonographer to right down the sex on a peice of paper and put it in a envelope so you’ve got the rest of the pregnancy to decide. Might help take the pressure off a bit! I’ve got my 20 week scan this afternoon and I can’t wait to find out! I found out with my first too x

in reply to

Thanks Bexiclese2016 I hope it all goes well x x

KellyTrip profile image
KellyTrip

I found out both times. I am too organised to wait and my husband is too impatient. I like to think of them as a girl or boy whilst they are growing too.

in reply toKellyTrip

Thanks Kellytrip x

KellyTrip profile image
KellyTrip in reply to

We were open to having a third and if we did, I would have liked a surprise now that we have one of each. We are sticking to two now though so I will never know what a surprise feels like!

Hi I didn’t find out with either of mine and I am glad I didn’t as it was nice to have a surprise at the end of the ordeal of pregnancy and birth a bit like Christmas, but it is a very personal decision, take into account what your partner wants as well. Lots of hospitals will no longer write down the sex of your baby for you and some even have signs in the waiting room requesting you do not ask them to and remember it is not an exact science my friend bought everything in pink and had always wanted a girl and a month ago had a boy she is still sugfering the effects of being told it was a girl and struggling to bond with her gorgeous boy. Do what is right for you and good luck. I’m 22 weeks now and when people ask boy or girl I just shrug and say baby but I was so tempted.

in reply to

Thanks Mitch789 for responding. That's what I would like that surprise feeling but alot of people make me feel like I'm crazy for not wanting to find out. My partner isn't fussed either way we just want a healthy baby

Major2116 profile image
Major2116

Me and my partner are finding out but that's because waiting until April will be frustrating because curiosity will get the better of us haha!

My best friend is 2 weeks in front of me n her and her partner aren't finding out because he was forced to find out with his little girl from a previous relationship and he wants the surprise which my friend is happy with.

Some people at work are saying why find out that spoils it but then others are saying it'll be nice to know. I'm not really bothered about what they say to be honest because it's mine and my partners decision as we made our baby and not anyone else. Don't feel pressured hun! It's nice either way. As long as baby is healthy then gender doesn't matter :) xx

in reply toMajor2116

Thanks Major2116 I will stick to my guns and not be pressured x

rachellj93 profile image
rachellj93

Me and my partner haven't found out and I'm 37+6 today. I love that it's a surprise and haven't struggled to get everything we need in neutral colours so we are fully prepared.

I haven't found out with all three of them. I am glad I had a girl first which is nice for a mum, so anything after that is a bonus as is a healthy baby.

Once you know, you can't undo. Plus all midwives congratulate and get excited too that I don't want to know.

We live in a society where you can go and buy pink or blue clothes 24 hours so what organising does it need?

What about people 100 years ago who had to sew everything?

Aren't we very materialistic? As much as I like pink and dressed baby in pink it can look also silly having no other colour.

In the past pink meant for a boy and blue for a girl!

I cannot imagine it any nicer to have this surprise at the end of birth. Plus the sonographers don't look for the gender unless they have medical reasons.

I don't think any of my 3 sonographers know what I am expecting.

Please hold on and see what a surprise is really like. Parcel will be delivered and opened at the right time. A Healthy baby is priceless.

Loubump profile image
Loubump

Its completly up to you and your partner - i was told to keep it a surprise - but we really wanted to know ( so we found out in the end ) dont let people pressure you xxxx

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