Feeling very very down all the time..

[Zoe310798]

Hi, I'm 18 and a single mum to my gorgeous little Halle who is now 10 weeks old. Everything was fine when she was first born, I think I had the "baby blues" as I was very weepy and upset for a few days but that went away and I was okay.

When Halle was about 6/7 weeks old I noticed that I was feeling very down a lot of the time, this is continually getting worse to the point where I spend most nights crying myself to sleep and find myself getting upset or annoyed over things which in hindsight are not worth it.

One of the main problems I have is being lonely, I don't have many friends anyway but obviously with having a baby and being a single parent I can't just go out with the friends I do have when I want to because I am tied to Halle 24/7. I think this is made worse by the fact I'm not working at the moment because I'm on maternity leave so I spend all of my time at home when everyone else is working and being in the house is driving me mental.

I try my best to make out to the health visitor and my family that I'm okay because I don't want them to feel like I can't cope because I feel like they will throw it back in my face that I chose to have a baby so I have to get on with it.

I just don't know what to do or who to talk to. None of my friends have babies so none of them will get it but I don't want to keep it to myself because I know it will get worse.

Any advice?

[LHow81]

Talk to your health visitor she's not there to judge. You need some help and there is nothing wrong with that. If you're not comfortable with your health visitor perhaps try your Doctor or even the midwife. It's not going to do you or your little one any good if you're miserable.

[KellyTrip]

You shouldn't have to feel alone. Definitely talk to your health visitor. I felt like the first step was realising I needed help and my health visitor was amazing to be honest. They are there to support you and will not judge you. You can't help feeling like you do. Also look at local groups and clubs you can go to with your daughter. You will meet other mums and will realise it's not just you feeling like this. Even knowing that makes you feel less alone! None of us like to feel like we aren't coping but it is ok to ask for help!

[roxannacar]

Health visitor will know of local groups that you can attend. I know where I live in Manchester the council website has a list of baby groups that you can do. Most of them you have to pay for but the council ones are very reasonable at £1 or so. Private ones are normally more expensive. Def worth speaking to your health visitor tho and family. Also might be worth speaking to your gp

[EM24]

There are also websites etc that will help you meet people. Have you looked into joining mummand baby groups?

Honestly as other people said pleasetry not to hide how you are feeling from HV/ Doctors. Not least because if you have PND rather than just upset because of a difficult situation (which would be totally understandable) than it won't go away on its own. Also, if anyone makes you feel like you should just suck it up because you 'chose' to have a baby, then they are wrong. Nobody can possibly be prepared for how hard having a baby actual is, and I'm not as young as you, or single, but I'm comparatively young and the first one of my friends to have a baby and it is really hard. It's hard not to be able to do things and see people and go out when you want.

So don't let people make you feel bad.

[Hidden]

Where are you from there are many mum and baby groups you can meet up with and if you live near me I'd be more than happy to meet a new mum, I don't have any mum friends but I go for walks and try and get out the house to to play groups and just a walk around town helps boost the mood it is very hard I'm only 23 so not much older and my partner works late so is either at work or sleeping so I don't get to speak to him much either lol but deffo speak to your health advisor aswell xxx

[Zoe310798 in reply to Hidden]

I'm from Bolton in Greater Manchester hun, where abouts are you? Hope you are well xxx

[Oliversmum]

Being a new mum is hard! And lots if not all women struggle with it at some point.

What you are describing is what I refer to a 'cabin fever' don't make ur home a prison. Find ur local sure start centre - they have loads of mother and baby groups and most are free or with a small fee. At my one the health visitor does a clinic there once a week, and it's stay and play while u wait. This is a great way of you making some new friends, who will have children a similar age to yours - so ull have lots in common.

Please also ask for help from health visitor or gp. U don't need to hide from these people they are there to help u. Baby blues can effect anyone, be kind to yourself ask for help.

Xx

[Chelsea-Nicolexo]

I completely understand even though I haven't got any children, always here for a chat! I have mental health so I know what your going through.... message me on private message. Love Chelsea-Nicole xx

[VictoriaH1]

Netmum's online is a great place to join, it's free. They have local chat groups so you can find & talk to mum's in your area, local meet ups etc. Lots of people in same or similar situations.

You can post threads & comment. It's a great way to start the ball rolling in getting out there & making new friends.

I would defo recommend you talk to your HV, as others say, they are there to help & advise, they can also give you push in right direction with groups but also they care about helping you.

Good luck & we're always here if you need us x