Clingy baby

[Sarahj6]

I need some advice on how to deal with my baby she's 13months and she screams not exaggerated she literally screams when I leave the room or even just stand up from sitting down. I also have a 4 year old and soon as he hugs me or sits near me she's screaming trying to push him off me . What to do I'm at my wits end here please help

[Dad101]

Hi sounds like separation anxiety and it's tough but it is a natural and normal phase!

motherandbaby.co.uk/baby-an...

My son had it really badly with me, my daughter the same but less pronounced.

It's tough but with some patience it'll be fine.

Best of luck!

[dairyfan]

Hi there,

I wonder if the clinginess could be due to a mental leap...have you been following the wonder weeks chart of mental leaps in a baby's first two years? There is a leap at approx 55 weeks after the baby's due date (not birth date). Here is a link to this one thewonderweeks.com/mental-l...

I followed the leaps with my daughter from 8 weeks and they were spot on for dates...she is now 3 and although there is no data available for the leaps after about 20 months I can tell when she is in a leap or not because I've learnt the behavioural changes and it is really helpful even now! In fact I am sure she has been in a leap in the past few weeks - she is 3 yrs and 8ish weeks from her due date. She definitely experienced the 3 c's of clinginess, crying and crankiness from the beginning leaps, and as she has got older the crying has diminished during leaps but the clinginess and crankiness (which I think the screaming would link to) are still clear changes. I think I read that the behavioural signs will be different according to the child but there are many listed in the book (which is really helpful) which I observe/d in my daughter including not wanting to be separated or put down i.e. wanting to be carried all the time!, increased fussiness during changing, dressing, eating, more milk consumption/nursing and so looser nappies, showing signs of learning new skills, and more.

Have you experienced or noticed this type of behaviour at previous times - which could have been earlier leaps? (although teething, illness and physical growth spurts and other things can obviously share some of the behavioural changes and there can be a lot of overlap especially in the first months) The early leaps are very close together and quite short in length (1-2 weeks) and the later leaps (that are mapped) are longer, lasting about 4-5 weeks, and further apart, giving about a months gap before another one starts.

Hope this may be of some help.

Best wishes!

[dairyfan in reply to dairyfan]

Ps. also as this coincides with the time many parents need to go back to work at 12-13 months it can seem more like it is due to this but I wonder if often it is the leap coinciding. I've read on childminder forums mixed experiences of children being upset when first settling, or not being upset at first but then getting upset several weeks later, which sounds like a child could be in or out of a leap, though of course there can be overlapping issues as I mentioned above - including separation anxiety as has also just been posted. I returned to work a few weeks before the 55 week leap and my daughter didn't experience any upset starting at her childminders, though she had a lot of short settling sessions in the space of about 10 days (forced by chickenpox just before so she couldn't start any earlier!) which I accompanied the first few.

xx

[dairyfan in reply to dairyfan]

Sorry I made a mistake above - my daughter is now 3 yrs and 6 weeks-ish from her due date...in case anyone is comparing the stage of their 3 and a little bit year old for leap timings!