3 miscarriages, now pregnant for the 4th time and terrified!!

[pennyhenny]

Hi everyone,

I'm not usually a person who uses forums but I've read comments on other posts on here which I thought were lovely and helpful so thought I'd give it a whirl in the hope that it might just help.

My husband and I are pregnant for the fourth time (after 3 miscarriages - all just before 10 weeks). After having every test under the sun, the hospital found no reason for our losses and told us to just carry on. We've been trying to get pregnant again on and off for nearly 2 years, now we finally are (I'm 6 weeks this Friday) and I'm terrified. I'm taking baby aspirin daily in the hope that this may make a difference and am trying to stay calm but sometimes its a real struggle, sometimes I feel as though I am waiting for my pregnancy to end, as though its inevitable. I am usually such a super positive person who always sees the bright side but I feel as though I am sinking a little, I am so happy to be pregnant, I feel so lucky to get another chance at this but I just need to be able to relax and be calm. Does anybody have any tips to stop me checking the toilet paper like a crazy person every time I wipe? Or to stop my heart sinking with every belly twinge??

Thank you so much in advance xxx

[KellyTrip]

Congratulations! I am sorry you are having such an emotional time.

I understand you must be so worried but just think that there were no problems found so there is absolutely no reason thst this pregnancy will end in the same way.

I had a miscarriage before having my son and I like to think that we wouldn't have him if it hadn't have happened. We are so lucky to have him. Even after one miscarriage I worry and I am pregnant again now and having some bleeding. I found the best thing is to keep busy so that I don't think the worst. You won't have time to think horrible things.

Fourth time lucky 😊

[Shelly92]

I have heard a lot of women who lose a baby do so at around the time of their expected period.

Like for the first three months.

So take it easier till end of third month.

Maybe a new dr has an idea of what could up the odds up not losing .

Still keep up faith

A lot of us have lost many babies and still go on to be mothers.

[Oliversmum]

Hi Pennyhenny,

I just wanted to lend some support. i am currently in a similar situation to yourself. Currently 13 weeks 3 days pregnant - this is my fourth pregnancy, two miscarriages (6+8 weeks) my first pregnancy resulted in my wonderful little boy.

I completely understand your fears and anxiety, but something I said to my husband who was having a wobble 'it's done now! Sperm and egg has meet and it has been decided'

I know you still have to live it day to day - and I have bad days and good days, but no amount of worrying or tears shed is going to change a thing. Just live in hope and listen to your body.

I am also taking aspirin in hope of a better outcome, and I am also having acupuncture which is a awesome for stress and anxiety relief.

You are clearly a strong person to go through this again. It's all about the end goal; holding and loving your baby. Please keep that in mind and just keep going.

Really hoping it works out for you guys xx

[Annewithane]

Congratulations! And I'm so sorry to read of your previous losses.

Like you, I had 3 unexplained miscarriages and found my 4th unbearably stressful. Another loss felt almost inevitable and at weekly scans I wished for there to be no heartbeat so it could all be over sooner rather than later. I felt anxious about what I might find every time I went to the loo, had a stomach twinge etc. You have been given a raw deal and sadly it is likely that you will feel anxious and upset, even throughout your pregnancy and beyond. Try not to dwell on your worries (I know that might be hard) and find enjoyment where you can in your pregnancy. Weekly scans until 16 weeks (the length of my longest pregnancy before that) reassured me greatly; would your hospital do that for you? I was also lucky enough to have a perinatal mental health unit at my local hospital and a very understanding GP. Do let your GP know how you are feeling if you haven't already and if you are feeling overwhelmed keep pushing until you get some help. Make sure they take you seriously. Let everyone know what a hard time you are having. Talking about miscarriage seems taboo in our society and it shouldn't be. Tell everyone around you exactly what you need. People aren't mind readers and often put their foot in it. I didn't even want to hear about stressful things on the news so I told everyone I spoke to I only wanted to hear about nice things. Kittens and rainbows was my mantra!

Hopefully your anxiety will diminish as your pregnancy progresses, even if it doesn't disappear altogether. I still struggle with anxiety even though my son is almost 3 but for me the worst was over after the 12 week scan. Please know you are not alone and that all your feelings are very very normal given your heartbreaking experiences. It's horrible to go through.

Hang in there. Take things a day at a time, even an hour at a time if you have to. My heart goes out to you, the waiting is unbearable. I hope things get easier for you and sincerely wish you a very happy outcome. Sending you much love. And be kind to yourself.

Anna

[Thunderbird3]

Honestly, nothing will stop you being like it. I was in the exact same position, 3 miscarriages, all the tests came back normal. Pregnant for the 4th time on asprin, and terrified. 4th time for me was the one, but I didn't stop worrying; it got easier after my first scan, but I still worried constantly. That was 4 years ago, since then I've had 2 more miscarriages, and given birth for a second time. Just try as best you can to relax and stay positive. Xx