Confused and stressed

[Pearl2]

I will like to ask if is normal to feel the way i do because am scared to see myself breast feeding, will be due on March but already not comfortable and not willing to try. Is Please help I feel like am gonna be a bad mom is my first time.

[hspread]

it is entirely up to you how you feed your baby, you will not be a bad mum if you choose to bottle feed

[it-is-now-or-never]

Is someone in your close family or a friend putting you under pressure to breastfeed? If they do, that is unfair. Or maybe you feel stressed because there is such a thing made out of the whole breastfeeding, it is recommended everywhere and advice about how to "get it right" is everywhere.

You are the mother and you will choose what is right for you and your baby. My niece was brought up only on formula bottle milk, she is now 8 years old and completely healthy, happy, bright, she couldn't be a better girl!

Other people can think what they like, you will make that choice... Together WITH your baby. The way you feel now is the way you feel now. Going through birth and then meeting your baby for the first time, you don't know how you will feel then and what you might want then.

I'd suggest to get your formula ready for after birth, and to allow yourself to say: "I want to use the bottle milk - that is what I think now. When my baby is there, it is healthy and good to use the bottle milk. If we, baby and me, later change my plan and want to try breastfeeding, that is ok too. I have both options and they are both good."

Why not allow yourself a plan A and plan B? Other people are other people- you and your baby will have a unique journey together. I wish you lots of courage and resilience and joy!

[Rosie459 in reply to it-is-now-or-never]

I agree there should be s plan B, but if you choose breast as a plan B you would surely set yourself up to fail? As breast is about supply and demand, if you don't use it you lose it. If you do want to try breast I'd suggest trying to stick it out for a week or two if you are able to. It's not easy and I had lots of failures where I had to top up with bottle but feel at three weeks me and my LO are starting to get there. I'm not saying bottle isn't a good choice but I think it's always worth trying for what nature intended when breast has so many benefits for you and your baby. However I have felt on many occasions like packing it all in on a hard night when my LG wouldn't latch or my boobs hurt or when I got mastitis, but my family, who may seem a tad pushy, were just trying to encourage me to stick at it based on there own experiences and that it does get easier and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Who knows, in a month or two I may switch to bottle but I have thoroughly enjoyed feeding my baby by breast and watching her gain weight and look content after a feed and having a cuddle.

[Rosie459]

It's perfectly natural to feel like that. I chose to BReastfeed but I didn't always think I would as I couldn't imagine doing it. Don't feel pressured to do it. Lots of mums opt for formula for different reasons. If breast feeding just isn't for you get formula prepared and a bottle and when your baby is born just put them straight on the bottle.

[roxannacar]

I always felt a bit weirded out by breast feeding before I got pregnant ... lol honestly the idea grossed me out a bit, but when baby got here I gave it a try and it was prefectly fine. It was hard to start but worked out, she almost 12 months and still giving night feeds.

However if you want to bottle feed that your choice and no one else's. Re. Breast feeding being a plan b ... actually you can't try it later if you change your mind as after a few days your milk supply will stop or never start in the first place.

[SC94]

It's your right to choose whether you want to breastfeed. I was in a similar position as you in the past... I breastfed with my first I was young and thought if I didn't I'd be a bad mum.so I tried for a week and then expressed instead.. 4 weeks later I switched to formula... for me I felt sticky and dirty and I hated the experience I hated being covered in the milk and having to milk myself like a cow. I felt a better bond with a bottle and bottle feeding than I did breastfeeding. With my 2nd I tried breastfeeding cos the hospital sent a woman round to help before I could say I didn't want too. So I believe there is a pressure to do it. 2 days layer I switched to formula.. I was so tense and hated it i wasn't producing enough and because I didn't want to do it the baby would get upset so it wasn't. Good for any of us. I'm pregnant again now and I've made it clear from the get go that I will not breastfeed. I get post natal depression easily afterwards and I think forcing myself to do it again when I hate doing it will only make me at more risk of depression again. I hope my side of the story helped you and don't let anyone make you think you're a.bad mum for not breastfeeding. For some women it's amazing experience and for some it isn't we all as women should respect other women whether they choose to breastfeed or not.

[Pearl2]

Thanks a lot guys for all your advices and comment's. Lots of Love