Breastfeeding: Hi, I m 20w 4 days... - Pregnancy and Par...

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Breastfeeding

InTheMiddleOfIt profile image
53 Replies

Hi, I m 20w 4 days pregnant, my husband and I have quite a heated debate when it comes to breastfeeding, I m for breast is best when you can and I d like to keep breastfeeding for at least a year, him on the other hand is for using both breastmilk and formula and stopping the breastfeeding totally at 6 months as, according to him, it's just inappropriate to breastfeed a toddler.

I told him to get lost and he can stop breastfeeding at 6 months if he wants I won't mind😋

but what is usually the recommendation??

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InTheMiddleOfIt profile image
InTheMiddleOfIt
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53 Replies

You can breastfeed up to around 4 but I stopped at 18 months with my daughter mainly because she wasn't interested and prefered to drink cows milk at that point. It's whatever you feel comfortable with really.

Oh and my daughter is always the last one to get ill in our house too. My 2 sons didn't take to breastfeeding as well and they were hungry constantly I was sat all day and night feeding. I stopped and introduced formula with them at 6 months but their immune systems are not as good. Infact one of my son's got chicken pox at 8 months. My daughter was at nursery and literally got about 5 spots max, passed it to him. My son was covered in them. So best to breastfeed for as long as possible.

petua profile image
petua

when can one stop breastfeeding when she is pregnant?

petua profile image
petua

it may affect diet the baby

InTheMiddleOfIt profile image
InTheMiddleOfIt in reply topetua

At 6 months solids are introduced anyway and breastmilk is a complement more than a main source of food also the breastmilk s composition changes after 6 months to adapt to the babies new needs.

There is some interesting articles about breastmilk s composition changes

roxannacar profile image
roxannacar in reply toInTheMiddleOfIt

Actually most weaning sites will tell you baby still gets most of nutrients from breast milk till about 1 year. When they start solids they start small amounts for tasting. I thought I'd stop breast feeding at 6 months but bubba is 9 and latched on as we speak. It's pretty convienent when we're out and at night... And since I'm not back to work yet dont see why not! Oh for your husband ... babies don't toddle/walk at 6months so they're not toddlers!

in reply toroxannacar

No. the solids are the "complement". The milk (breast or whatever) is the main part of the baby's diet throughout the first year.

Mamaug20 profile image
Mamaug20 in reply to

Absolutely that’s what I just said

in reply toInTheMiddleOfIt

Utter bs, InTheMiddleOfIt.

Research suggests otherwise!!

Babies get all they need from breastmilk, solids aren't always necessary until then!

Mamaug20 profile image
Mamaug20 in reply toInTheMiddleOfIt

It’s not a complement hun breast or formula are babies main food until 12 months and the pod is complimentary then it switches arms 13 months

PinkJelly1 profile image
PinkJelly1 in reply toInTheMiddleOfIt

Actually it's the other way round. MILK is the main source of nutrients until 12 months.

fairywomble profile image
fairywomble

Its entirely your choice when you stop feeding... your husband may like to help out with feeding, if so then you can use a breast pump and baby can have a bottle a day from him without using formula. Baby will start feeding less from 6 months when they start having food but that doesn't mean you should stop, they are still getting lots of comfort and nutrition from you.

My son is currently 21 months old and has 2 breast feeds a day and 1 bottle of cows milk... I am also 22 weeks pregnant! I've chosen to let him decide when he doest want milk from me any more.

Good luck with your pregnancy and feeding journey xx

roxannacar profile image
roxannacar in reply tofairywomble

What if he decides to continue once baby is born? Surely the milk produced can't suit the needs of a newborn and 2 year old. Just a thought

fairywomble profile image
fairywomble in reply toroxannacar

According to my midwife it is perfectly fine to tandem feed and both of them will get what they need. Colostrum will be produced as normal for baby. I'm still expecting him to wean himself as my milk changes for baby, but if he doesn't than that's fine too :-) xx

InTheMiddleOfIt profile image
InTheMiddleOfIt in reply tofairywomble

That's my plan too, if we're blessed and everything goes well and by some miracle we're pregnant again (this one was our last chance on NHS IVF but we were told that my husband's sperm count improved so there is a chance for natural conception) I initially want to feed for 24 months or until the second baby is born as it can be quite tiring to juggle both.

MrsRet profile image
MrsRet in reply toroxannacar

People tandem nurse very successfully.

SC94 profile image
SC94

Breastfeeding is a personal decision. With my first I really wanted to breastfeed and I tried for 2 weeks and honestly I hated it. I know a lot of women love it and it feels so natural but for me it wasn't like that I prefer holding my baby and feeding a bottle to him. So I didn't promise myself with my 2nd baby to definetly breast feed. I think it's something you take as it comes. You might love the idea of keeping up after 6motnhs now but feel differently when the time comes. I'm pregnant for 3rd time and I'm making no plans really I believe I'll bottle feed from the beginning as I don't feel happy when I breastfeed so that's my choice and you get to make yours on what's best for you and hopefully your husband with support you with whatever decision you make. I hope this helps and good luck :)

CountryGirl666 profile image
CountryGirl666 in reply toSC94

100 % agree. Im exactly the same.

Eskarina profile image
Eskarina

It's a very personal decision and you need to weigh up the pros and cons. I was determined from the start I was going to breastfeed but nearly gave up due to thrush and tongue tie and sheer exhaustion but once her feeding had settled down at 10 weeks, I really started enjoying it. As well as all the possible health benefits there's practical benefits as well: It's free, it's convenient and there's no faffing about preparing bottles and formula. The WHO recommends feeding until two! I would really do your research and show it to hubby. Breastfeeding is more successful if you have lots of support. All the best!

Meowthmum profile image
Meowthmum

You need to do what is right for you! I breastfed my daughter for a year then she weaned herself off me. The recommendation is breastfeed exclusively for 6 months then start weaning but to be fair everyone I know starts weaning before then. Also it's rare to get a baby that can successfully alternate between breastfed and formula fed. Breasts are supply and demand and if you're not exclusive, you're milk supply will suffer. Also the baby may get nipple confusion cos no matter how hard they try they will never make a bottle that feels the same as the breast. You need to be confident about breastfeeding if you're gonna do it and if the hubby is gonna dismiss it, it's not going to help you. Educate him! I'm 11 weeks pregnant at the moment ( I have an 11years old and 14 year old) and I will be breastfeeding again. My decision and everyone else is supportive as they know I am passionate about it xx

Kat2316 profile image
Kat2316

Breastfeeding is a personal decision but if you do want to do it they recommend not to also give formula as it will reduce your milk flow unless you express. Your milk flow keeps up with the demands of the baby, that's why it drys up when you wean them off.

MrsRet profile image
MrsRet

World health organisation recommend breastfeeding until age 2.

Breastfeeding is a personal issue between mother and child though so it's completely up to you and baby hoe long you feed for.

My 1st I stopped at 9 months dur to my own lack of knowledge. My 2nd stopped at 15 months and I have just weaned 3rd at 20 months.

Do what feels right for you and baby.

Mumria profile image
Mumria

You do what's right for you and your body. They say breast is best. I wanted to do it so did my partner. It was hard work for 2 months and every day I wanted to give up. Tried supplementing with formula at 2 months because I was feeling tired. My baby wouldn't drink it from the bottle. 4 months now and I'm glad I breastfeed. It's the easiest thing now especially at night. No need to get out of bed to make milk!

The breastfeed lady gave me a lot of support at the weigh in clinic as I wanted to give up each day.

Do what you feel is best for you and baby.

Nicki1984 profile image
Nicki1984

It's what ever works best for mum and baby x

Mummydtobeagain profile image
Mummydtobeagain

Hi ladies I can agree and do whatever is best for us all. It's great when we get the help and support we need. I thought when I had my first little boy I'd breastfeed him but once he was born I really struggled so tried donor milk then syringing!!! Then found out when still in hospital I can't carry on doing this at home (syringing I mean) so after lots of upset and stressing, oh said just do bottles. It worked for our little boy but the guilt factor I had and got even from friends that managed to breastfeed was hard to take. Little boy is healthy 3 yr old now and no health major issues. Now delighted to have another baby boy now too. He's 7 weeks old so this time round when I knew we were expecting him I didn't stressabout the feeding do what's he prefers, but after my emergency c section and was knocked out oh had to feed him a bottle while I came round but from then and until he was about 3 weeks I exclusively breastfed, but i was exhausted really didn't want to give up but much more support from same friends to keep me going with breastfeeding and great support from hospital etc I did include the odd bottle and baby loves both, still do this now since 3 weeks and going great. Gives oh chance to feed baby while I get showered or spend time with his big brother.sorrry for massive response. Good luck to you all x

Ribena1987 profile image
Ribena1987

I have just been on the WHO website. It states the following: "Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond."

who.int/topics/breastfeedin...

Also on the NHS website: "Exclusive breastfeeding (breast milk only) is recommended for around the first six months of your baby's life. Breastfeeding alongside family foods is best for babies from six months.

You and your baby can carry on enjoying the benefits of breastfeeding for as long as you like. Breastfeeding into your baby's second year or beyond alongside other foods is ideal."

nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy...

Nobody is a moron. I would recommend that you go on these websites before making unhelpful comments.

Breastfeeding is a minefield. There should be no judgement.

Carlakoala profile image
Carlakoala

Wow! Switching to formula at six month does not cancel out 6 months of breastfeeding. How can you be a lactation consultant and say that??

InTheMiddleOfIt profile image
InTheMiddleOfIt

Updates

My little Oliver was 4 weeks early, he is now 9 months and i m still breastfeeding. We had a rocky start with a tongue tie but once it was sorted it was much better, i m following the WHO advice (also i m not keen on the whole waking up and making bottles malarky lazy moo) it works for me and i ve never been more comfortable with my body than since i started breastfeeding. I was worried about his food intake and that he's taking much less on the breast than before but his weight is great even for a premature.

He s a happy healthy boy and that s what matters.

InTheMiddleOfIt profile image
InTheMiddleOfIt

As a new mother i think it s safe to say that we get a baby absolutely clueless, we do our best, research it, ask friends, watch programs but when we get our bundle of joy we don t know what hit us.

I use to assume that breastfeeding is instinctive. Put a baby on a breast and they know what to do, No we re both learning a skill. Food is eaaaasy you make it he eats it breakfast lunch dinner with few snacks, No it s still milk their first food and anything else is secondary. Also all that effort we put at researching and shipping and making a balanced meal doesn't mean anything it doesn't guarantee he ll eat it.....

It's a learning curb and we all do what we can.

If by the end of the day they re alive and healthy then catching it s a successful day.

To Mummy2addie: i m so grateful my breastfeeding consultant was nothing like you or there would've been trouble. We're just another mum for you but when we go to talk to someone we are shattered emotionally and physically and people like you don't solve problems they add to it and put mums who are trying to do what's best off not just breastfeeding but asking for help too

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NCTcharity

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BIBFB29262 profile image
BIBFB29262

Dear InTheMiddleOfit,

I am glad that you are actively educating yourself before you deliver. This is actually the best time to learn all about breastfeeding, so that, when you deliver, you will know what to expect and the process will be much easier.

It is recommended to breastfeed at least six months but it is ok to breastfeed longer. I have a co-worker who breastfed her son until he was two. I breastfed until my daughter was six months and only because she weened herself off.

Good luck!

InTheMiddleOfIt profile image
InTheMiddleOfIt in reply toBIBFB29262

Thank you, i managed till 18 months with my first and had to stop due to morning sickness being too much to handle now with my second 6 months and going strong 😍

Rebelfemme profile image
Rebelfemme in reply toInTheMiddleOfIt

Good, glad your husband stopped being an idiot about it. Or you ignored him. Either way, good for you!

JennAngel profile image
JennAngel

You can breastfeed as long as you like! They recommend at least six months but up to 2 yrs. Also, your baby is considered an infant until their first birthday, and then that’s when they become a toddler, as most start walking around or after their first birthday but up to 18 months old is normal. I breastfed both my children till they were 13 months old. After 6 months though they start weaning and you gradually start feeding them less and less. By the time I got to 13 months they were down to one feed a day. So by 7-8 months you can be avoiding public feeding if you so choose. Don’t let him make this choice for you, it’s your body! Also, if this is your first child, even your own mind may change once you’re actually doing it so don’t be so set. Parenthood is all about taking things as they come and being able to change plans as needed! Good luck and congrats to you both 😀

Seb9 profile image
Seb9 in reply toJennAngel

Hey, this post is 3 years old now, I think the original poster had another child since this post and breast fed them both for ages but you're totally right in what you've said xx

JHecz profile image
JHecz

Breastfeeding is by far the best. Besides I have been told it's much lighter than formula and there's a decreased chance of cot death if you breastfeed your baby. In my case it relaxed me too!

Rebelfemme profile image
Rebelfemme

I know its now not an issue, but in my opinion, your husband should stop giving you a heated debate on ANYTHING whilst you are pregnant. It is your breasts, and you feed your baby as long as you and your baby want to feed. There's nothing inappropriate about feeding a six month old baby, they aren't even toddlers by then anyway. Some people feed until two years old with no problems, and are encouraged to do so. No offence, but your husband's an idiot...If he really cares, he'd shut up, and support whatever you decide to do as a mother. Personally I wouldn't take any guff from any man on breastfeeding. Most of them don't know what they're talking about anyway, they read some online stuff about breastfeeding and suddenly decide they know it all.

NIAnon profile image
NIAnon in reply toRebelfemme

This may surprise you but the father of the child is perfectly entitled to have an opinion and view which is different from the mother. Strong relationships are able to take disagreement, and are built around compromise and accommodation not denigration and dictatorship.

Agreeing with the World Health Org’s recommendations around breastfeeding does not make him an ‘idiot’, and nor does the mother’s wish to continue feeding past the six month mark automatically mean she is more caring or better than her partner.

So please stop with the stereotyping of men (‘most of them don’t know’ etc.’), and cut out the sexist and misandristic statements denigrating men. They need support too.

Mommy23of2 profile image
Mommy23of2

I breastfed my first for a year and then she switched to cows milk, Brest milk is better for babies than formula. I recommend breastfeeding for a long as you and your baby are comfortable with. You can definitely supplement with formula as well

InTheMiddleOfIt profile image
InTheMiddleOfIt

Thank you allb i ve managed to breastfeed my first for 18months then stop for 5months (i was 4months pregnant) and i just weaned 2nd at 25months.

TRH89 profile image
TRH89

World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding until 2 years old. Your husband sounds like an idiot. Do what's best for you and your baby however long or short that is, and until he grows a pair of breasts and makes them lactate he's best keeping his uneducated opinions to himself.

Chloe0789 profile image
Chloe0789

Tell him a six month old isn’t a toddler, the clue is in the name, also makes sure he pays for the formula, bottles, machine, steriliser, bag to put all that crap in for when you go out

AE-- profile image
AE--

It is for 2 years after giving birth for good health for neonates

PinkJelly1 profile image
PinkJelly1

Since when is s 6 month old a toddler?

KPmama profile image
KPmama

I know this post is really old now but I'm adding this for the benefit of anyone reading the comments. The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding until AT LEAST the age of two. I know breastfeeding isn't for everyone but there are so many benefits to extended breastfeeding. If it's something you want to do, no one should make you feel like you shouldn't. There is a wonderful, supportive community on Facebook called 'Breastfeeding Older Babies and Beyond' for anyone who needs some support or affirmation.

Babyjs21 profile image
Babyjs21

You will have enough to bicker about when baby arrivesNeither of you know how itwill be so just agree to just see how you get on with bf when baby is here!!! There is NO test on a relationship like having a newborn which leaves you hormonal and sleep deprived!

Mercedi profile image
Mercedi

The world health organisation and Baby friendly Initiative recommended that we should breastfeeding after a year an onwards, longer you breastfeed the longer are the effects of the benefits. Formula milk make lots of money and breastmilk is non profit for the industry. It is all about Antibodies they will be Combating against microbes & viruses. IgA are not brought via placenta or cannot be made from the newborn.

Macrophages/ white cells digest dangerous germs.

Lactoferrin

One molecule of lactoferrin can trap and smother two atoms of iron and thus starve and make bacteria vulnerable.

The future of intestinal flora depends of the first germ that occupy this territory. There are not microbes in the intestines of the neonates.

If you are thinking to breastfeed longer your baby will be longer protected agains diabetes and obesity..

You will be longer protected against breast cancer or ovarian cancer, obesity and diabetes…

Breastmilk is the best. Formula molecules are too big and gives to your baby constipation.
Kaykay69 profile image
Kaykay69

The fact he thinks it’s “inappropriate” maybe he needs his head checking .

Lyunyu88 profile image
Lyunyu88

Your plan is good, any man that says breastfeeding a 1 year old is “inappropriate” believes that breasts aren’t for babies and for the desires of men.

Luckily for him a baby is an infant until 1. So if you breastfeed until 1 you won’t ever be breastfeeding a toddler! However, human babies need milk until 2 for brain development. So if you stop breastfeeding at 1 you will have to substitute a different species milk. Why give you baby cow or goat milk when you can give them human milk???

Colourpurple09 profile image
Colourpurple09

Hi there,

The recommendation from the World Health Organisation is 2 years and beyond. The health benefits are for mum and baby. Plus a six month old is not a toddler, I am a Family Support Worker and a breastfeeding Champion. I can honestly say that to do this successfully you will need as much support that is available to you . Some babies will decide themselves when they want to stop , though many don't always. Breastfeeding is good for brain development, due to holding baby close and it also puts an extra layer on the neurones in the brain . As long as a mum gets plenty of support at the onset them you should have a successful and enjoyable breastfeeding journey, I wish you all the very best.

Txtea profile image
Txtea

I'm breastfeeding my 11.5 month old rn. A toddler is 12+ months. They advice to bf up to 2 years or more. It's really your body, your baby. And bf is such a precious and hard journey. It's honestly not his place to say anything. He should just be supportive and stfu.

Txtea profile image
Txtea

Just realized how old this post is 🤣.

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