Sibling rivalry! How are you guys dealing with it?

[Muminspire1]

As a mother of four I was really enjoying the joys and pleasure of it all until hell broke loose! When the middle one turned 4 and a half then I become pretty much a full time referee. She is five now and the other sister is almost 9 years. They disagree, fight and are so verbal with each other. O.M.G sometimes it's bad that I need to separate them. Time out, taking away toys and privilege/s works for a short time. With my eldest I didn't experience it as there was a big age gap of 11 years and she didn't have to do this as she could reason. If you have more than one child, how are you dealing with it? What has worked and hasn't? They like to put each other in trouble and have both become good at it. We have good days and some where they constantly report each other and continuous arguing. On days when the weather isn't great and can't play out much then towards the end of the day when they are tired, it's worse................. I ask them to hug and remind them that they actually love each other by saying it to each other. I love you my dear Sister, they laugh and become friends for however long before I have to become a referee again.. Oh my dear Mum I love you for putting up with all this, I think of that a lot as my Mum put up with me and my Sister a lot. It's not as bad as it sounds but when am called on the pitch am thinking O.M.G that was a very short break 😔🙋

[SC94]

I have a 3 year old and a nearly 2 year old. They battle constantly!!! I'm pregnant n dint know how they'll react! I found making time for each of them alone helps so that stopped the jealousy of me and they play in their separste bedrooms alone for 20 to 30 min which I found was important to them getting some time to play without stealing each others stuff! My son has issues with order and Grace well she just doesn't so they clash haha ! I don't know how you cope with refereeing four!!! Bet you're knackered at end of the day!!!

[Muminspire1]

Thanks for your reply, the eldest is out of their league. She is an adult and the youngest is 15 months so its the two middle ones that don't get on sometimes. It's tiring even then. Good luck with the one on the way. With age it will get better. The one who is almost 9 sometimes can reason but not always. Can't wait for the bickering to stop...........

[Dad101]

There is a great book called Happier, easier, calmer parenting and very useful. Although from what you've said you have 3 children with very different needs, with the 18 month baby probably taking up a lot of your time. I think that they have worked out if they squabble they get your attention. Your eldest at home needs you as she is turning into a young lady, the 4 year old needs you as she is becoming an individual. While their needs are not as obvious as that of a babies they still need you. I know it's hard but try and find something that you do with them individually every day, praise their good behaviour and ignore the bad. Most importantly reassure them that your there for them and see if they can help out around the house. My son worked out if he kept his room tidy, helped with the baby and behaved that he would get more time with me.

[Muminspire1]

Thanks Dad101, I have noticed that it is a way of getting attention negatively but believe me I spent lots of time with them to make sure no one misses out. I have put my career on hold to ensure that they have at least one parent at home paying attention to their needs. Children are precious and so valuable and deserve to be put first but life makes us so distracted at times, back to the post I will also look at that book, much appreciated.