I am 12 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby. My little girl will be around 20 months when it's born in Jan.
I had a really traumatic birth with my first and since i found out i'm pregnant again I can't help but be almost constantly thinking and worrying about the birth this time around. I had been convinced that I would demand a C Section to avoid the risk of it happening again but I know a C Section comes with it's own issues.
To cut a long story short i was pretty badly torn and lost a lot of blood by the time she was out.
I'm just terrified that if I give birth naturally again that it might cause some more serious damage to the already damaged bit of me!
Any advice would be really gratefully recieved. I am going to be seeing a specialise midwife at some point to talk through what happened and why it happened but i know the midwives always encourage you to have a natural birth if possible so i really need some frank and honest opinions.
Thanks so much.
Sarah
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sa4ahlh
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I had a traumatic birth with my little one and ended up been rushed in to theatre for a c section i would ask ur midwife if a c section is available because of ur previous birth
I think I'll really have to fight for one as at my booking appt the midwife as put me down as low risk! Which was nice to hear but am really in two minds as to what to do! X
I had a really traumatic birth with my 1st child & simular to yourself i tore pretty badly down below & lost a alot of blood as a result of it.
This however was nearly 6 yrs ago for me & since then i have given birth to my 2nd child ( in November 2013)
Although i very "narrowly" escaped having a C sec with my 1st child i'll admit i was also very worried about how the whole birth experience was going to be but i can honestly say it was a totally different story from beginning to end.
The best advice i could give to you is to keep as active as you can throughout your pregnancy "safely of course" & eat as healthly as u can too as i believe these things also contributed into the pleasurable pregnancy & birth experience i had.
I'm 36 weeks Friday and my first birth was hurrendous, I was induced at 38+5 after kicking and screaming that something wasn't right, and ended up having an emergency section under GA. I didn't see my son till he was 7 hours old and i can't tell you how ill I felt afterwards... So this time I have opted for an elective section so that I can be wake and in some sort of control of what is happening (I suffer fro arthritis so pushing is harder) and I have had to fight very hard to get my date for a section! It's not easy but you know what you want and don't be bullied into anything xzzz
My sister had a very traumatic birth with her first one. She spoke to her doctor before even being pregnant with her 2nd one and because of the very strong feelings she had about giving birth the doctor agreed that when she got pregnant she would be booked in a week early for a c/section
My advice would be to ask to speak to the consultant at the hospital (ask the midwife to arrange an appointment) and discuss your feelings with him/her. If it's agreed and as your pregnancy progresses and if you start to feel better re giving birth then you can always cancel it. Take care x
Hi there, My situation was exactly the same as yours. My daughter's birth about 8 years ago was hard and very traumatic. When I planned for my second pregnancy, I'd also planned that it would be a c-section. I understand ladies have had different experiences and I'm sympathetic to both arguments, but my c-section was easily the better experience. However, let me point out again that I'd planned for it, it was not a forced last minute decision. I repeatedly spoke to girlfriends who'd been through a c-section, found out exactly how things would proceed and asked them incessantly about how they dealt with the whole experience. I am seriously queasy about hospitals and needles. this helped my mentally to run through the day in my head and be prepared for it. I'd otherwise generally run for my life. Also, midwives are well-meaning and generally very helpful. However, it is in your right to ask for a c-section, get on the NHS website and print the page out which says so and carry it with you. You may not easily get it, but be prepared to put your foot down and say that in no uncertain terms. Get your first birth case history, you are well within your rights to ask for your papers, they have them on record. Point out the worst experience to the midwives again and get your consultant appointment. Stress repeatedly about how difficult your first birth was and how unprepared you are to go through this again. I was prepared to go and speak with anyone required, including psychological help to get my c-section. Also, once the c-section is done, post-op care is paramount and I cannot stress that enough. Be extremely careful of hygiene and of carrying things around. Take care, hope things go your way.
If you want to look at options other than a c section it might be worth you looking to see if doing a Hypnobirthing course would help you. Part of the course helps you address fears and concerns about labour and it gives a system to help you through labour naturally. I used it for my first child and found it really helpful but of course hadn't suffered your previous experience! If there is a practitioner near you I'm sure they would talk to you about it without any commitment. Where I lived it cost about the same as NCT antenatal and the midwives were supportive. It's not actual hypnosis, more a system to help you stay calm and feel in control. Good luck!
I had my daughter via c section 3months ago (planned) with my son 9 years ago I had an emergency section due to not progressing, him getting stuck etc very traumatic anyway my midwife said that it was down to me as to if I would like another section or not I was booked in to see a consultant straight away and discussed everything. They were all really nice and informative the decision was down to me at the end of the day. Although they did sway more towards a section as well. Ask if you can be referred to the consultant and go from there. Maybe different health authorities work in different ways. The only bad thing is this time round it did take much longer before I could walk about and the pain is much worse.
Sorry to hear about the awful time you had during your first pregnanacy, it must have taken a long time to get over that i'm going to be a bit of a party pooper and say please think long and hard about having a section as I grossly underestimated the recovery. I have a 4 week oldand had a planned section at 39 weeks as he was breech right up until the night before (can you believe it..) I didn't know until we went into hospital and they did a final scan. As I was prepped fora section i pretty much begged them to go ahead as they were going to send me home but I really wish I had for the 'natural' option. I had read numerous posts and advice about the recovery and how you have to take it easy but thought i'm a bit of a tough cookie i'll be up and about in a fortnight. The pain and discomfort afterwards is unbelievable as they send you home with over the counter painkillers. My hubby works from home so am very blessed to have him here to help when he can but I think if I didn't plus having another child to deal with would be too much as you really really have to take it 'easy' for the first fewweeks. No picking stuff up, sleeping downstairs to avoid the stairs, coping with the pain etc. I guess what i'm getting at is I can't begin to know what you went through on your first labour but if you do have a section then please be prepared for a lengthy recovery and make sure you have lots of people around who realise that its not a myth and you really won't be able to do much for at least 3-4 weeks. Sending you positive thoughts and please try not to stress too much
I think people's experiences differ. Yes it's painful, but I could manage stairs 48 hrs after the op, and my husband went back to work 2 weeks later and I coped fine on my own (no family nearby to help). Biggest help was an extra Moses basket downstairs so I didn't have to go up and down too much.
Sorry to hear about the awful time you had during your first pregnanacy, it must have taken a long time to get over that i'm going to be a bit of a party pooper and say please think long and hard about having a section as I grossly underestimated the recovery. I have a 4 week oldand had a planned section at 39 weeks as he was breech right up until the night before (can you believe it..) I didn't know until we went into hospital and they did a final scan. As I was prepped fora section i pretty much begged them to go ahead as they were going to send me home but I really wish I had for the 'natural' option. I had read numerous posts and advice about the recovery and how you have to take it easy but thought i'm a bit of a tough cookie i'll be up and about in a fortnight. The pain and discomfort afterwards is unbelievable as they send you home with over the counter painkillers. My hubby works from home so am very blessed to have him here to help when he can but I think if I didn't plus having another child to deal with would be too much as you really really have to take it 'easy' for the first fewweeks. No picking stuff up, sleeping downstairs to avoid the stairs, coping with the pain etc. I guess what i'm getting at is I can't begin to know what you went through on your first labour but if you do have a section then please be prepared for a lengthy recovery and make sure you have lots of people around who realise that its not a myth and you really won't be able to do much for at least 3-4 weeks. Sending you positive thoughts and please try not to stress too much
Obviously it's down to how you feel and I know emergency c sections and planned ones are vastly different experiences. However, I had a horrendous experience and crappy month long lead up to the experience and ended up with an emergency c section and I hope I never have to have a c section again, emergency or planned. You really have to go with your gut on what is best for you but remember each birth is different. What happened before doesn't indicate what will happen next time....that's what is keeping me sane anyway lol x
Hello, and congratulations on your pregnancy
I'm sorry to hear that you previously had a traumatic birth. As suggested earlier, maybe you could look into a hypnotherapy course? Also, the first baby always seems to be most difficult, from what I've read!
Why do you think a cesarean will cause more damage?
All I'll say about c-sections are that, like pregnancy, every one is different. This time last week, I'd not long had one. It wasn't planned, in fact it was what I was most terrified of - but after 29 hours of labour, baby needed to get out!
Yes, it's uncomfortable - but I feel a lot better than I did a few days ago. I've been prescribed Ibuprofen and Paracetamol which take the edge off any soreness. The worst bit is if I sneeze or laugh hard, it hurts my tummy (again, that's getting better though)
The most important thing is rest. Housework can wait, as can anything else that isn't baby related. My OH is self employed and due to our daughter being 9 days late, it means he's now back at work. Luckily, my Mum has been able to come and help out, which has been a Godsend. Not doing anything for 6 weeks will no doubt drive me crazy, but hey-ho, that's life.
I'm not saying "Yeah, go for a C-Section!", I think you need to discuss your options in full with the specialist Midwife because you can't make a judgement based on other people's different experiences. What I am saying though, is that I'm sure that if you did have one, it won't be as bad as you think.
It is your decision and you need to decide what's right for you. Just to say I had a really good experience of c section. I had one because my induction failed to progress. My baby was placed on my chest almost immediately (the anaesthetist pushed the screen down to make room and even pushed the surgeon out of the way!), and we had loads of skin to skin time while they completed the operation. So if you decide to have a section, it's worth talking through how you'd like it to be. It can be a calm and wonderful experience.
I would suggest you speak to your midwife on yr next appt and ask if the hospital offers a birth reflection service..you may just find you need to talk about yr previous experience to explain what happened...even the most beautiful birth can be traumatic for the lady..as a midwife myself..ive supported ladies whove had caesareans after traumatic experiences and only you will know the best mode of delivery..x good luck
Thank you so much for your responses girls. Obviously I wouldn't want to opt for a c section for no good reason and I'm aware of the healing time. I really just can't decide whether it is a better idea to just wait and see what happens this time and risk the same thing happening and potentially doing some irreversible damage or to go for the operation and risk possibly having a long and painful recovery. I think I will make an appt to see a consultant like some of you said and then maybe I will feel a little more confident and be able to make a more informed decision! I hate this because I really want to enjoy my pregnancy but it's always at the back of my mind!
Hi there, I had a c section with my 2nd child due to a medical condition. I hope this doesn't sound crazy but it was a beautiful experience! With my first it was extremely traumatic and I was exhausted by time she arrived. I barely remember her being born due to the state I was in. This time, wow, it was so different. I was calm and the operating room, although busy with lots of staff, was such a joyous place to be in. It felt like all these people were as excited as my Husband and I. When my little man was lifted out it was such an amazing bonding moment because I wasn't in a state. Whilst i was stitched up my husband sat nearby with our little man.
the recovery, for me, was easy. I spoke to many friends and got some great advice.
things like
* walk upright moment they tell you too. No slumping over, back straight to help those tummy muscles heal.
* walk backwards up the stairs once home, so not pulling when going up.
* rest, but still be fairly active to help body heal.
* i didn't lift anything heavy for 6 weeks, but i admit by week 4 boredom had set in and i was doing light housework and loading the washing machine myself.
my husband had 2 weeks off paternity, the third week the school let my daughter be home schooled, by week 4 i was back on the school run and felt great! No one could believe i had had a c section 4 weeks prior. I dont drive so didn't have to wait to do that at 6 weeks. I was doing a 20 min walk there and back to school though, and just took it slow. The fresh air did me good too.
yes, a c section is major surgery, but if you don't get an infection in your wound (which i didn't) i truly believe you can recover from it quite easily.
I know what everyone is saying about recovery times but everyone is different. I had a section 3 weeks ago and I've been up and about a lot. I was given cocodamol 30/500.and an anti-inflammatory and as long as I took my medication regularly I found it pretty easy to get through my day, ofcouse I couldn't do stuff like bending over or lifting heavy stuff but it just depends how your recovery goes as everyone is different. I know when I was in the hospital they try to get you up and about as it aids healing. But do whats best for you and just remember everyone's recovery is different. X
I am overwhelmed by all the responses ladies. It's so nice to be so supported on a group like this! I have been thinking really hard about it over the last week or so and I think that I am going to speak to the specialist midwife about it and really find out what happened and why it happened with my last birth as no-one really explained it to me when i was recovering. I think this will help me get a bit of closure and then i can decide once and for all what i want to do. I still have 6 months to go so i must really try not to worry as i know it's not good for bubba. xxxx
Hi, I know you have had alot of responses but thought I'd share my experience aswell. I had an emergency section as I wasn't progressing, the whole labour experience was long & exhausted and the section was a relief in the end but I do have to say I lost alot of blood & it took me along time to recover especially as I had no family around to help & my little one had colic & constipation so had a difficult first three months. I ended up with PND & although I'm not blaming the section I think a combination of circumstances led to it. I'm feeling alot better now & if I was to get pregnant again I feel I would insist on a planned section, although it was difficult recovery last time I think a planned section would be a different experience. It would give you time to prepare, plan & be organised. Recovery would still be long but I think alot better than going through labour and then having one. Whatever you decide insist that your doctor respects your wishes, taking care of a newborn is hard enough without having to overcome the trauma of a difficult birth aswell. Good luck & try & relax and enjoy your pregnancy
I was similar to you. Induced, low heart rate etc and not progressing so was taken through for a section to be told not possible as baby was too far engaged!?! Spinal not effective so a lot of local and with forceps and seeing the doc with a foot against the bed pulling for all his worth !!! my first son arrived. 8lb 15oz Let's just say it took 90 minutes to stitch me back together and 4 hours for me to be conscious from the blood loss/ trauma etc but we are both here and healthy. I was told to expect a bigger baby second time around which scared me. Two weeks before my due date I had been telling the midwife that I knew something was wrong and I wouldn't have my 2nd naturally although I wanted to and to induce me and they didn't. So after reduced movements and a lot of panicky midwives and doctors my boy arrived via emergency section. I was right to be worried he was 9lb 9oz of pure chunkinesss and he had a severe infection and was on IV antibiotics and in NICU for a week but thankfully he is thriving now. Trust your instincts. I wish I had been firmer with the doctors and demanded something was done earlier. I like many others did too much after section and got an infection in wound site but after learning to take it a bit slower and some good antibiotics I've healed well. I would never choose a section personally due to the healing time and how debilitating it is initially but you have to do what is right for you and your baby so you are both here and healthy in the long run. Good luck x
First of all i'm so sorry to hear about your traumatic birth, it sounds as though yours was worse than mine! Glad you are both fine now though, and also that your 2nd is thriving! I think you're right, I will know if there's something wrong, especially as now i know what to look for! I feel the same re a C section, i wouldn't want one ideally but the thought of going through the same truma again is just terrifying. I have now made an appt to see the specialist midwife to talk through everything so i'm looking forward to that. As time goes on I am starting to lean more towards the idea of just seeing how it goes and trusting my body and if i feel like there is something not right again then i will demand a C section! I will also make sure it's all in my notes as well so they are aware of the situation.
Hi and congratulations. Bit late to the thread, but I'm having a similar dilemma to you. My lb is one year old, and with a stalled labour, confuse, then forceps, and the epesiotomy from hell, it was a horrible experience. Him being 9lb 5oz didn't help. The epesiotomy stitches failed after 2 days, got infected, th3n over granulated and had to be burnt away, and a year later its still sore. Healing time until I could walk properly was about 3 months, and that included 3 days in hospital on morphine the infection had got that bad. So now number 2 is on the way and I'm terrified of it happenning again. Part of me wants the calmness of the planned c section, and of course hopefully the recovery time would actually be shorter. But I also know the benefits of the labour in terms of hormone release etc. My consultant feels that between the trauma of the first and the damage from the epesiotomy, risking a second could cause a problem, and lead to prolapses later yuk! So she is recommending c section. Wouldnt it be great to get best of both worlds, go into labour naturally, but then go into hospital for a csection. Logistical nightmare for the NHS i know!!
I had to have an emergency section with my first, ended up under a GA as he was in distress and they wanted him out. Lost a lot of blood and was quite poorly. By the time I woke up, everyone else had held my baby but me and I felt like I'd been hit by a bus from all the drugs.
With my second, the hospital pushed and pushed for a natural birth but I wanted an elective c section. Good job I pushed, because my boy was stuck on my cervix and born with a rare skull condition. Aside from this, my section was calm and controlled and I felt completely in control, no rushing around, I got to hear my boy cry when he came out and I had him put on me straight away! I'm due my 3rd boy in 7 weeks and while a c section is definately not the easy option due to healing etc, I really enjoyed my elective section birth. Good luck whatever you choose xxx
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i'm going to be a bit of a party pooper and say please think long and hard about having a section as I grossly underestimated the recovery. I have a 4 week oldand had a planned section at 39 weeks as he was breech right up until the night before (can you believe it..) I didn't know until we went into hospital and they did a final scan. As I was prepped fora section i pretty much begged them to go ahead as they were going to send me home but I really wish I had for the 'natural' option. I had read numerous posts and advice about the recovery and how you have to take it easy but thought i'm a bit of a tough cookie i'll be up and about in a fortnight. The pain and discomfort afterwards is unbelievable as they send you home with over the counter painkillers. My hubby works from home so am very blessed to have him here to help when he can but I think if I didn't plus having another child to deal with would be too much as you really really have to take it 'easy' for the first fewweeks. No picking stuff up, sleeping downstairs to avoid the stairs, coping with the pain etc. I guess what i'm getting at is I can't begin to know what you went through on your first labour but if you do have a section then please be prepared for a lengthy recovery and make sure you have lots of people around who realise that its not a myth and you really won't be able to do much for at least 3-4 weeks. Sending you positive thoughts and please try not to stress too much 
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