Anyone got any advice on how to stop getting upset when having to leave their baby in NICU.

[samzi21]

I was 28weeks pregnant and had to have a c-section because i had preeclampsia and my daughter wasnt getting enough blood through the placenta. When i visit her i feel useless because all i can do is watch her and hold her for an hour occasionally change her nappy. When i go to leave after 4-6hours with her i feel guilty because i wanna be with her and care for her but i cant. Has anyone any advice. Thanks x

[2princes1princess]

Aww bless her. Congratulations x what have you called her, xx I've never been in your situation hun so I can only reassure you in that you are doing fabulous I would not want to leave her either, enjoy all the cuddles and touch you get together and keep building up your bond for when she comes home xx

[samzi21 in reply to 2princes1princess]

We have named her Paige.

[2princes1princess in reply to samzi21]

Aww thats lovely

Stay strong hun xx

[lashlee]

I can totally relate to you my daughter was in PICU a few months ago and it is tough. You shouldn't feel guilty leaving her at all. The way i see it is you need that time to rest and recover yourself, sitting at the bedside is exhausting and draining. The more rest you can get now whilst you can't do much will pay off when you finally can do things for your baby and eventually take your baby home because if you don't get the rest you need now you will be no good to her if you are exhausted and drained especially in your case having a c section your body has been through a tough time and needs to get over the surgery. Your body will not recover as well or as quick if you do not get that essential rest. She is in good hands and in the best possible place. The nurses are fantastic in places like that. It helped me and my partner to have that time to ourselves as it gave us time to recuperate and recharge our battrries, going for walks away from hospital helped to just get away. It payed off as when she came home we weren't run down or completely mentally drained. We were on top form to care for her and be there for her when she needed us the most. Don't feel or let anyone make you feel guilty you are no good to her if you are not 100% in yourself.

[samzi21 in reply to lashlee]

Thank you for that advice i feel slightly better knowing im not the only person. My partner is my rock at the moment but he seems to be botteling his emotions at the moment.

[BabyMama6 in reply to samzi21]

My Son was born on New Year's Day & was in special baby for two nights.

I know how you feel, it's heart breaking when you walk away & leave them. However, rest assured your baby is in the best hands.

Use your time to sleep through the night & get your strength up. Before you know it your little one will be with you & your partner & this will all be a distant memory.

Stay strong & remember babies are little fighters.

Xx

[samzi21 in reply to BabyMama6]

All the docs call her the fiesty one and its just upsetting because its going to be another 8 weeks at least before i can have her at home.

[vickyjacko82]

it must be so hard for you, my heart goes out to you and all others in your situation. A few of my friends have had similar experiences and voiced how hard this stage was. please be reassured that their babies are all little bundles of joy now, with no long term life threatening issues at this time. With regards your guilt, this will become a feeling that you will get regularly during motherhood, about one thing or another. but you have done the best thing for your child and are visiting her regularly, bonding etc. keep strong!!

[samzi21 in reply to vickyjacko82]

Doesnt help when im suffering sore throat and ear ache and chest ache from being run down and the nurses say we prefer u dont come in but if u do no contact.