Maybe I have been too laid back about the whole thing.

[Flossieflo]

So, I haven't posted since my first scan and now 40+1. I've just spent the last 20 minutes sobbing. At my 38 week midwife appointment, it was a different girl, and I mean girl, she seemed straight out of training. I understand that everyone needs to start somewhere, and as a new teacher all those years ago, I probably seemed just as green. Anyway, back to the point, I have been very blasé about the whole thing, the whole pregnancy has been unplanned, a result of a drunken evening and failed morning after pill, but figured what will be will and have just got on with it. Luckily I've had a really easy time of it. Well at this last appointment, the midwife booked me for a stretch and sweep on my due date, then promptly changed her mind as it was a Sunday and they would be short staffed. She then booked it for today and told me to call the community midwife team this morning to find out what time. Well, I did, and I wasn't even on the system to be seen today. The community team were lovely and booked me in for this afternoon, but I just can't help thinking that if I hadn't phoned, I would have been sitting at home all day waiting for someone to come round that wasn't going to.

I have been feeling really increasing anxious about something going wrong at the birth and mentioned it to this midwife, but she just brushed me off, saying that I shouldn't worry, and I have my Doppler at home and could always ring the labour ward if I'm worried at night. I don't like to bother medical proffessionals as there prob is nothing wrong, and I would be taking up the time of someone that could really need help.

I haven't even had a 39 week appointment, as it wasn't booked, so I've been worrying for the last two weeks without any support. My family and friends have been great, but I still feel like I'm doing this alone and the professionals supporting me haven't done anything to relieve fears or offer any reassurance.

That's it, rant over, I don't think it made a lot of sense, maybe hormones are kicking in and baby is on her way. Who knows??

[Hidden]

If it is of any consolation, it is normal to worry during pregnancy. I used to pride myself for being a very rational person who makes decisions based on evidence but I found the emotional part of my brain panicking and worrying multiple times during pregnancy, while the rational part of my brain was telling me there was no tangible reason to panic. The emotional part of the brain always won resulting in me calling the midwives multiple times with many silly questions! I also found that I needed much more emotional support than usual so I understand how let down you feel by the midwives. In terms of healthcare practice what they did is not disastrous but the behaviour does not give you any confidence.

What I would recommend is getting more vocal with them. This afternoon explain your worries to them and your need to be reassured. Once they realise that you need support, they will hopefully be more helpful. Good luck! xx

[Hidden]

You just want to feel looked after and sounds like they have forgotten about u...I know how u feel Hun it's not silly..I don't feel my consultant is taking me seriously...but I won't give up! And neither should u! Ring tmw and speak to community midwife team again tmw and tell them again how ur feeling and say u feel brushed aside....hope u feel better not long to go now x

[Flossieflo]

Thanks, I'm much better now, both my older and young midwife came round. Obviously I cried on them, but actually they were really good. When they did the sweep, they found that the little madam had disengaged from my pelvis but both said I was not to worry and everything is still fine, just baby is being particularly uncooperative. I am booked for another sweep next Sunday then induction after that if still nothing. Neither midwife were concerned, and the experienced one even read back through my notes, so, disappointed but better and slightly more relaxed.

[Envgirl in reply to Flossieflo]

Glad to hear that your midwives have listened to you and have been more supportive. Good luck with the sweep

[Hidden in reply to Flossieflo]

Dont give up hope sweeps don't always Happen straight away... and sometimes first time babies don't engage fully till in labour x