Did I read that sign right?
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
.
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.Brought 800 cigarettes back for my friend after my holiday,
"How much do I owe you?" He enquired
"£385", I said,
"Heavens sake, that's dear. Where did you go?" He shouted.
"Bournemouth" I replied.
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The rain was pouring down.
Standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub and looking very down and out, was an old chap holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water.
A passer-by stopped and asked, "What are you doing?"
"Fishing" replied the old man....
Feeling sorry for the old boy, the gent says, "Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me."
In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their whiskies, the gentleman, being a bit of a smart ass, can't resist asking, "So how many have you caught today?"
"You're the eighth", says the old man.
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.Yesterday, I told my friend that her eyebrows were too high. She seemed surprised..
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Today I put on my sensible walking boots and a rucksack, picked up my walking stick and went up to the Peak District, walked for about 5 miles, stopped, sat on a stone wall and had a coffee from my Thermos. Then I walked a further 5 miles, had a chunk of Kendal Mint Cake and then I...
...sorry, I'm rambling!
Today's powerwalk 
COVID SHOPPING 29/4/20