I keep ‘catching’ myself in ‘high alert’ mode.I’ve started to try to calm myself down by taking deep breaths and telling myself that there is no need to rush. It seems that whatever I’m doing I am doing it at high speed already thinking of the other things that need to be done. Last night for instance I was just putting the clothes on the airier to dry and I was aware that once again I was rushing and feeling tense.When I’m driving my hands are clamped tightly to the steering wheel. There is always so much to do but I’ve always been the same,constantly feeling stressed and under pressure. I have just finished the induction course for my new job,returning to nursing after a 28 year break at the ripe old age of 62 ,so there is another bag of worries and stress! I will need to be alert for this.Even now instead of writing this I should be doing even more e learning.
I know I need to calm down .I do a lot of exercise classes and realise that I should choose the Yoga and Pilates classes instead but if I do once again my mind just won’t let me relax which makes me even more stressed.
I feel that this life long attitude has resulted in the development of PMR.(and the fact of being caught in an abusive marriage for 28 years too I suppose .Luckily I’m nearly out of that now.)
I actually feel that even though PMR is a dreadful really horrible thing to have that I have got off lightly considering the other stress induced illnesses.
Sorry to have gone on but I think quite a few of us on here are RUSHING busy types and I wondered how you were coping with trying to tame your ‘ must hurry ‘ thoughts.I expect I might get told to ask for help in the house ,there are 7 of us, but that’s stressful and I’d rather just do it myself than be told it will be done then it isn’t .I can’t just leave things either.Anyway back to the e learning 9 to go !
Best wishes to you all.Thanks for ‘listening ‘.
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Dewdrop456
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Hmmmmm? I used to be like that, but actually having GCA & PMR has "slowed me down," quite a bit. Not willingly, mind you, but I have slowed down nonetheless. Have you tried meditation?
Well I’ve sort of tried it but once again may mind reminds me of what I need to do....
Sorry I didn’t get the chance to see you in the summer it turned out to be a very quick visit in the end. I was desperately trying to find another job and needed to get back to Cambridge. Maybe we could meet up this summer if I go down to Brighton ?
Thanks for the suggestion I’ll try to give it another go.
OK Meggsy.Actually the leisure centre are opening a new area up for yoga and Pilates this week so I thought I might give it another try.Thank you.I will picture your pretty rainbow.
Hmmm... Maybe don't be so critical of yourself. When you find your moving too fast, give yourself a gentle reminder to SLOW DOWN... if you don't remind yourself again.
Yes I love reading but only have time last thing at night.I will certainly look at your reading suggestions.Thank you for them.
I will also try the SLOW DOWN method but when I imagined doing it just now I was actually shouting at myself in a stressed way !ha ha ( hopeless case )
Think what you have posted is quite common to us on here, it certainly resonates with me...or did, not now...I do what Melissa says...and tell my self...what's the hurry?....also I have a brilliant CD...that takes me on a lovely walk through gardens and the beach....this relaxes me.....you need to find what works for you...good luck.....
Thank you Longtimer.I like your name it makes me think of cowboys!
I know what the hurry is ,Stuff to do....... soooo much!!!!
But I AM going to keep on trying to calm myself down when there is absolutely no need to be tensed up and stressed.When I’ve tried a calming mind walk I find it very hard to stay focused but perhaps it takes disapline and focus I’ll give it another go.And I am going to try some of the suggestions that have been so kindly sent my way today.
Love westerns.....think I should have lived ln those days....long flowing skirts....plenty of land and space......see I 'm doing mindfulness just thinking about it!!.....Butch Cassidy my favourite...🎭🐎🌵
Sounds like me for years before I got PMR. Because of it though I have slowed down, put on a bit of weight (so what lol) and discovered reading which lead me to going to college to study photography!! So in fact in a peculiar way PMR has had its pluses. Still get a little bit of that panic mode though sometimes and when I do I try and remember that I always used to feel like that. Good luck in your new life and maybe try reading or meditation apps are also great xx
Thank you Allsgrandso, I do actually love reading and always love to read before going to sleep ,whatever the time ,another thing to squish in.
I have heard about the meditation apps and have thought about trying them. I feel that they might work better for me than just looking at a candle etc!
So pleased that you found photography ,well done for doing all that studying .Is it a hobby or are you a professional ?It’s certainly true the way life takes so many turns and we find ourselves in new unexpected places.
I think even the fact that you are noticing how you are thinking and feeling at different times is really good. It’s certainly a starting point as mindfulness can be part of your day by just being aware of how you are feeling while doing everyday tasks. Then maybe try and notice your breath and pause until you notice yourself calmer? Just an idea. There’s an app called insight timer and there’s a yoga Indra for sleep by jennifer piercy and It’s been my go too in the middle of the night. Never fails to calm me 😊 I think I will always call myself a learner photographer as I will always learn. I’m interested in Art photography mostly I think and hope to progress more in the future. Love capturing beautiful portraits of people too as I ❤️ people! All the very best and Thankyou x
Yes it is a start isn’t it?I was quite shocked when I noticed how ridiculously tense I was whilst even just doing routine chores.I used to use calming breaths to great effect but have a only just returned to them.I will certainly try your two apps .There are so many to choose from that it’s great to have recommendations.Thank you.
Your photography life sounds lovely.I too love people I like to hear about their lives and the different choices they’ve made,as well as generally chatting of course!
I can really relate to those feelings. The “keeping busy” is a way a lot of us have got through difficulties in life. The constant striving to improve is also a way of coping with a shaky self esteem. I know that, that is part of the fallout from an abusive relationship. This will be compounded by the limitations a serious systemic disease puts on you as well as the agitating effects of steroid treatment. You may well benefit from a period of one to one therapy to facilitate the healing process. I can also recommend Mindfulness from personal experience. I was greatly helped and changed by a Mindfulness course. Even folding the washing can be pleasurable done mindfully, rather than tearing through tasks. To quote the advert “ you are worth it”. 🌷
Thank you Sheffieldjane, you always give such kind thoughtful advice to people.I have been told the bases of mindfulness and try to practice it with some success but certainly a course would surely help as I still have half a mind not in the moment!
I am stuck halfway with the divorce until the house has been divided and then I can sell my half. I will have to get something smaller but at last I will have peace of mind in that area and maybe try some therapy.Sometimes I feel it might be better to let it all stay buried though.
Dear me ,I know it can happen,one of my friends is into her 10th year now!
It’s money flow for converting the house that’s causing the delay for me .But having waited for the right time for over 25 years I really want to make some progress immediately!
For her the problem has been her money being tied up in the house HE is still living in and has done the entire time while she has had the children when they were younger. Luckily her parents were able to afford a flat to keep a roof over their heads - we occasionally get some rent!!
I can see how difficult that must be.I wonder what the solution will be.Life can be very hard especially when the children are still at school.Its lovely that you help them. I wish them well.
Sorry life is so challenging for you. “Staying buried” re. feelings doesn’t work. Sharing your experiences with an abuse group or therapist gives freedom and empowerment. You learn strategies to change existing patterns. Tai Chi/Quigong is another option. I think lack of focus is Prednisone related. I have a severe case. However, aging teaches us to get out of our own way and slow down. The whirling dervish has to go!
Thank you Sandy,I think it would be a good idea and I will definitely think about it but for now it’s going to have to be all about my new job. First proper day tomorrow,5.15 alarm set!
Funnily enough I tried Tai Chi today I quite liked it.Usually,needless to say ,I attend the fast exercise dance classes but I’ve absorbed all the helpful advice given to me over the last couple of days and gave it a try.I also do Pilates now and again but it’s soooo slow.(I know I know!)
Trust me, I’m with you re. slow! Not a fan but forced to be with PMR, Pred head and the aging process. Just have to go with it! Hope the job goes well.
Hello Dewdrop456 , I agree with mamici. Prior to diagnosis of PMR and in the early days I was on “high alert “ most of the time. I’ve had the luxury of being able to be quite selfish over the last few years and the awful “overwhelmed” feeling has gone. I still don’t wait for the relaxation part at the end of exercise classes as I just start making lists of things to do in my head, but that’s just me.
Looking back at your previous posts and especially like Go with the Flow about no longer fighting your demons 😊 Applies to life in general I guess and not just prednisolone.
Good luck with the new job-you will be brilliant x
Thank you Maisie, (love your name,it sounds friendly).I guess I am overwhelmed.Hopefully this year will see the results of all the life changes that I tried so desperately hard to start last year. It’s been a long time coming.That’s funny about about your lists and very me too!
I’m fine ,or at least better ,about going with the flow PMR wise(no choice!) but I’m determined to see these changes through which means swimming against the flow has to be done and certainly I WILL be fighting demons!!!
Not a bad start to the year after all with the new job.Thank you for your vote of confidence.I loved being a nurse.Nervously excited!
Change is always daunting/stressful but I’m sure in a years time or less you’ll be much more settled career, house and illness wise. Bit of a cliche sorry but I believe it. Dorset Lady gave good advice when I posted saying I couldn’t resist poking the hibernating bear ie trying to get down to zero Pred - “you have to be fit enough to get away quickly if it does wake” a bit like fighting demons! Look after yourself first.
BTW Maisie was the name of a pony-definitely not friendly but a nice soul once she decided she liked you or thought you might be of some use!
I too charged around and expected others to do the same. Could you be dealing with anxiety? I find I feel more anxious when trying to reduce by one instead of half. I believe cbd oil helps sometimes too. PMR does bring us to our knees whether we want it to or not. I can't live that pace anymore and I don't really want to. Best wishes on the new career 😊
Thank you bunnymom,could well be anxiety but there’s a lot to be very anxious about particularly now.Maybe next year will be better when the dust settles.Thanks for your good wishes and take care of yourself too.
I know... maybe next year.I will try out some of the kind suggestions.Everyone’s good wishes and advice will definitely help. So thank you for yours too.
I chose my screen name as a reminder to self to do just that - your name is very peaceful and fresh, a good image to focus on as you wake up.
Someone told me years ago that they stopped every now and then in mid-flow, like playing statues, and did a quick mental scan of their body to see where they were tense, usually shoulders, neck, face, and to release those tensions. I make myself laugh when I'm washing-up as I notice my knees are locked so start doing little knee bends .. I live alone, I can do these unsightly things!
Thank you it’s just a name my sister used to call me.You are right it is a nice image that I could focus on.Quite a few of the names on here are fun I’ve noticed and often give an insight to the person.
That sounds like a good trick.I have begun to notice that I have been tensed up for no reason AT ALL sometimes.I will try to be a statue and do a scan ever so often. I may even be found doing the odd knee bend!
I think that when going through a period of transition, it is very natural to feel anxious, and for that to manifest itself in furiously running around attending to trivialities as though they're national disasters. it's a coping strategy, even if you haven't planned it that way or engaged in it consciously.
I'm betting that several other people in the household are capable of reading laundry instructions and recipes. Hide the antiques, hierloooms, special treasures, dainties and strong chemicals to limit the amount of damage they can do, and start organizing household tasks into a schedule of assignments. You might have to back off on your methods and accept different results, but more likely you'll be surprised that people will he happy to see you descend from the martyr's cross and start enjoying yourself - and them - more.
If nothing else works, go on strike, doing only for yourself and any household members who may be incapable due to age or disability. Hire expert help once it a while to get through a backlog you just can't attend to yourself. Call on the others to step up and accept their responsibilities to the household.
yes, you certainly can let go of things that don't really matter. After all, who will remember the names of your dust bunnies in 100 years?
You are going to be great at your new job. Put that first. The rest will follow.
OH saw dust bunnies yesterday - for the first time ever! Which wouldn't be so bad if it meant it was the first time I'd allowe them to form. But they are the sign to me that even I have exceeded the usual laid-backness. I have no idea why he noticed them at last - not that he did anything about them...
Thank you GOOD_GRIEF,yes it’s true.I have actually tried some of your ideas over the years and now do tend to work to a Need basis looking after less of them .(the 26 year old makes the most mess). Now I have a nearly bed bound elderly lodger to add to the mix! I tried striking ,they ended up using jugs instead of actually washing a mug!
I’m not too worried about the house now.Three puppies took care of any house -proud feelings I may had briefly experienced.
It’s me that I have to change I’ve always been a worrier and now a couple of people have said that I overthink things which I definitely do.
Please talk to your doctor about this. I was the same and was even repeating things in my head constantly, it was like I was always on. I could not relax. This, I found out was OCD. My doctor put me on Cymbalta and It had helped me quite a bit. I also am using relaxing methods, deep breathing, audio etc. to help. Wishing you the best...Relax.
That’s interesting and could well be true.I do have to check plug removal etc because I worry about fire risk.I find it hard to sleep.My daughter has OCD.I will certainly bear it in mind.
I have been a yoga practitioner for about 45 years and because my husband was in the the Royal Navy we have had frequent house moves, the worst was 12 in 8 years when our children were young. I have had many different yoga teachers and nearly every one has acknowledged that trying to clear our mind for a length of time is virtually impossible. Life gets in the way, we are human and stuff happens. When you start your relaxation or meditation or whatever you want to call it focus for a few seconds, your mind will wander, come back it will wander again, what's for supper I've got to fit in the shopping etc etc, come back. Be aware it is happening keep coming back.
When I struggle I always choose to visualize my daughter's face and I see her smile. Your eyes are closed and if you can concentrate your inner gaze to the middle of your forehead and visualize whatever it is you are using, I know a lot of people see a place where they felt safe or reminds them of happiness, playing on a beach when a child their mother's embrace. Not too complicated or fussy. I really try and see my daughter's hair the shape of her mouth the wonderful crinkles around her beautiful eyes the curve of her lip. You will find what you need. It might take months it might take some years it will change and often it will not work.
If that is the case you acknowledge it to yourself a but it doesn't stop you trying again next time.
I think a lot of us are probably unaware of how tightly we can hold ourselves so maybe next time you are out walking to the bus or to work anywhere it doesn't matter, ask yourself
Is my jaw clenched, lower your bottom jaw
Is my tongue stuck to the top of my mouth, release it
Is my head forced forward try and keep it in the midline
Are my shoulders hunched up round my ears, lower and release them backwards if you can
Are my arms clamped like vices to my side, release them
Are my fists clenched and thumbs stuck in side release them
Walk on or carry on washing the dishes and find after a minute all the tension is back do it again and again and again.
It eventually becomes second nature and I promise it takes seconds but we are human and life gets in the way. Don't beat yourself up if for you one day you only managed 10 seconds of unclenched arms. That is still 10 seconds more than you would have had.
Lastly I think of my breathing, choose a mantra, it has to be meaningful for you.
Mine is
Peace and Calm
I start by breathing in to Peace for about 5 seconds hold briefly then out to Calm for about 5 seconds. Most people have a natural pause before they breath in again. I only do it for about a minute and then let my breath settle into its natural rhythm. Everyone will be different none of this is set in stone, do what You need to when you can.
Trying to clear your mind is so very difficult, I have never met anyone who can do it for any length of time and my yogi friends are very honest and most agree, but we derive enormous lasting benefit pleasure and joy from the those time times it does and so will you.
Thank you for what you wrote Judyliz! Washing dishes is my least favorite chore, so I concentrate on being grateful for the warm water, electricity to warm the water, appliances that are in good working order which are some of my many blessings. Before I know it, the dishes are done. I try staying in the moment. Thanks again.
Thank you so very much Judyliz,just reading through this has made me feel calmer!
I will keep referring back to it. Thanks also for spending so much time writing in such detail. I can tell that all those tips are going to help me a great deal.
You certainly had a great deal to cope with with all those frequent moves,well done.
Do this. it's my relaxation tracks..and some exercises..the last is the longer relaxation.. do whichever track. do it every day if you can. It WILL help I promise!
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