The Lighter Side: PMR / GCA and the Preds - Where are You on the NORMAL to BONKERS Scale? Do this Self-Assessment to Find Out... ;-)

[markbenjamin57]

Greetings to all PMR / GCA Survivors, Veterans, Newbies and old (or not so) Friends here.

First: WARNING (seriously..)! This Post (a repeat of the original one wot I wrote a couple of years ago) is unashamedly SILLY and most probably NOT SUITABLE for anyone here who prefers to follow the more serious and important content on this Forum. We all have a choice..?

That said: here goes again, for better or worse...

After reading your many Posts and Queries about the confusing myriad of physical and emotional effects of PMR, and also those of the Magic Preds that manage the symptoms, I have devised the enclosed simple User-Friendly Questionnaire to help you to identify your Personal Score on the ‘MB Normal to Bonkers’ scale - with some suggestions about how to interpret your Score in your own context.

DISCLAIMER (as usual): this Self-Assessment tool has absolutely NO Scientific, Psychologically validated or Empirical basis to support its Methodology and Results. Nor is it designed to give you any reliable indication whatsoever about the true state of your Physical or Mental Health. If you want a feeling of certainty around these things, don’t attempt it.

More important: DO NOT under any Circumstances show this Survey (or your Results) to your Medic or you'll be guaranteed to get yourself chucked-out of their consulting room. I speak from experience...

But.. if you want a bit of Silly Fun, get stuck-in with an open Heart and Mind. There's no time limit - and no Right / Wrong answers. Any Answers or Conclusions that you come-up with are entirely of your own doing. Be Warned...

INSTRUCTIONS:

For each Section (1-7), score yourself from 1 - 5 (Low to High) for each Statement in terms of your personal Experiences and Symptoms with PMR / GCA and / or the Preds. Try to be honest with yourself and not answer the statements either in terms of how you would like to be, or to be perceived by others.

If unsure about how to score yourself, just close your eyes and think of the first number that comes to mind (it’s probably as reliable as any other method?). Better still, make a nice cup of tea / pour a glass of something, er, 'relaxing' and watch the telly instead?

But if you're Daft enough to have read this far (a good sign, in my opinion), here goes:

SECTION 1 - PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS

a.I am ok really - just a bit of wear and tear

b.I feel like I’ve been hit by an express train.

c.I feel like I’ve been hit by a train and then pushed from the top of a skyscraper.

d.Only by shouting a series of obscene expletives can I explain exactly how I feel.

e.Any volunteers for a Full Body transplant?

SECTION 2 - EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS

a.I experience a full and normal range of emotions - anything outside of that is just about my unique personality.

b.I often feel muchly Frazzelode, Jangleful and Sadly - or even Madly and Badly.

c.I am too Kna***red to feel anything except Sorry for Myself.

d.I am not moody or depressed - it’s everyone else. Huuggghhh.

e.JUST DON’T ASK - OK?!!!

SECTION 3 - MEDICAL EXPERTS (e.g. Doctors, Specialists etc)

a.I love and trust my Doctor / Rheumy, and send them Christmas cards (even in the Summer).

b.They’re ok but use a lot of confusing words like 'Tapering' that I can’t understand.

c.We are a Health Education partnership - the trouble is, I have to educate THEM.

d.My Doctor / Rheumy is about as much use to me as a bicycle is to a dog.

e.I am planning to assassinate my Doctor and bury him / her in the back garden.

SECTION 4. PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS (Personal / Family / Work)

a.My family / friends / colleagues are understanding and supportive.

b.I'm finding that they leave me alone more nowadays.

c.WHAT family and friends..?!

d.I only have one Special Friend - and that’s OUR secret...

e.I have an overwhelming urge to Axe-Murder ANYONE who crosses me.

SECTION 5 - PRACTICAL CHALLENGES

a.I function normally in Life, considering what a Special Person I am.

b.'Surfing' on a supermarket trolley is an exciting and fun Personal Mobility Aid.

c.Cleaning the house was never my forte. Dust is only God’s Dandruff after all?

d.Trying to open my car door on a hill is as good-a-way as any to get 20 minutes of aerobic exercise.

e.Ok, so I’m not a practical person. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

SECTION 6 - COGNITIVE CHALLENGES

a.My Cognitive Abilities are 100%, considering who I am.

b.I occasionally forget things like taking my Preds, what day of the week it is and, er, some other things (sorry I'll have to come back to you later on this).

c.I regularly forget who I am - let alone WHY I am. Dugghhh...

d.The Brain Frog has got me - there’s No Hope.

e.I AM a FROG! A big, beautiful frog with a sparkly Tiara and x-ray vision. Yay!

SECTION 7 - COPING STRATEGIES

a.I cope perfectly well without assistance from others, thank you.

b.There’s nothing wrong with an Afternoon Nap - especially in the mornings.

c.Transcendental Meditation classes are relaxing, AND you get to wear nice sandals!!

d.Pacing works - it’s a good way to get across the road faster.

e.I AM COPING! I DON’T NEED ANY BL**DY 'SPOONS'. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. GRRRR...!!!

(***End of Questionnaire***)

Congratulations, you have completed your Self Assessment. Here are some guidelines on how to interpret your scores:

Higher scores (4+) for ‘a’ statements suggest that either you don’t have PMR / GCA, are very fortunate to have escaped the symptoms of it / the Preds, or are in complete Denial about the effects of both. That said, being in a state of Denial can sometimes be useful in life (it works pretty well for me..).

Higher scores for ‘b’ and ‘c’ statements indicate that you are in a normal range of Human experience with PMR / GCA and on the Preds (any surprise?). The only question is: what is ‘Normal’ for you in the first place? (you might want to consult with others about this...).

Higher scores for ‘d’ (and especially ‘e’) statements again indicate that you are experiencing a relatively normal reaction to PMR / GCA and the Preds - if a little more intensely than some. Either that, or you have overdone it on the alcohol, been smoking something ‘exotic’, lost your marbles completely or are messing around with some other mood-altering substance as well as the Preds (so I understand from a friend..).

IMPORTANT NOTE!

If you have high ‘e’ scores in Sections 3 & 4, it is not recommended to enact these fantasies since Axe-Murdering people is a notoriously time-consuming and messy business: and assassinating people will get you into Big Trouble with The Old Bill, not to mention Interpol. Be warned, I know about these things.. ;-/

CONCLUSION?

So, dear PMR / GCA friends: do you score as NB (Normally Bonkers), SMB (Slightly More Bonkers), or FMB (Full Monty Bonkers)? And, does it really matter in the Big Scheme of things?

All I can say is that, if you have found yourself giggling your way through this nonsense, my money’s on you being pretty-well ‘Normal' in terms of finding a way to cope with the Challenges that PMR, GCA and many other Challenges that Life in General throws at us.

Ironically, although I concocted this Daft Stuff even I'm struggling to work out my own scores. But my Doctor is very supportive in the process. She should be - I pay her well. Her name is Samantha, and I hear that she’s very good at 'scoring' too. Just ask 'Janet and John' - well, maybe John.. ;-).

If you like and want more of this Silliness: it's all in a certain book wot I wrote. I can't publicise it here (for obvious reasons) but more info is lurking on the PMRGCAuk website in between a wealth of far more Serious and Important Stuff about all things PMR and GCA.

Wishing you Happy Days, a more Positive year ahead Health-wise, and try to keep smiling wherever you are in the world. Of course, a few Smiles and Giggles won't fix PMR, GCA, or Life in General: but they can help during the Tough Bits.

That's my Theory and I'm sticking to it...

'Professor' MB :-D

[CT-5012]

Thanks for the laugh, slightly manic, no totally manic. But have enough cunning to hide the bodies where no one will ever find them. 🤪

Seriously, 😂 thanks for improving a bit of a s@#£y day will now catch up with you on the red life improver. 🍷🍷🍷

[markbenjamin57 in reply to CT-5012]

All sounds relatively healthy to me CT - keep up the good work!

[Blearyeyed in reply to CT-5012]

Do you have any space left in your body pit and if so can you send me the directions via private chat?

The carboots getting a bit full now and the neighbours are starting to complain about the smell!! Any help in hiding the bodies will be gratefully received. Bee xxxx😂😂

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

What is seriously worrying is i can imagine you doing this. As I live in the countryside and there are lot of fields in the village it's easier to get rid of bodies so maybe you need to move to a more rural area.xx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

I live in the Country , but it's Anglesey , it's a small island and I fear that some day soon I will run out of room , and it's always good to weigh up your options and be prepared, you know what a PMR Girl Scout I am , bee xxx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Well the obvious solution is to start using the weight and sink method of hiding bodies.

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Yes , but with the PMR I am going to have to find a far more active and willing volunteer to do the rowing ..... Where is my youngest daughter??

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Well as she's still young she won't be tried as an adult if she gets caught.

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Two years of happy conviction free body burying then , I might use that to persuade her to be my accessory !

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Having children is so useful at times'x I found they were pretty good at pushing the shopping trolley!!

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Have you read the rest of the replies in this post, it has given me a great amount of relief knowing it's not just the two of us that are Completely and Utterly Bonkers , or should that be Spronkers!!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Yes realised there are more fruit loops than I originally thought but that makes me feel quite at home. There are obviously levels of insanity in the forum and to be honest you seem to be at the top!!

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Always tried to do my best at any task , so being a swot at the top of the insanity board is not surprising. I will now reward myself with a gold star and a boiled sweet😘

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

When i am top.of any class i prefer to indulge in more than a boiled sweet!! A whole arctic roll is more like it.

[CT-5012 in reply to Blearyeyed]

The body pit is getting a bit full, they are getting a little close to the surface, the weight and sink method is not an option here the police are frequently diving looking for bodies in the river. Have you noticed how often bodies are found by someone out walking their dog? We don’t have a dog.

[Blearyeyed in reply to CT-5012]

Perhaps we could donate them to one of those forensic research projects out in the woods , then we could class our homicidal activity as a service to Medical Research and not a crime , in fact we should probably receive a medal for our service to Science. 😂😂😂

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

Can not believe you have managed to convince yourself that your dead bodies would be doing a service!!

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

See how easy I would be to defend in court, 😂😂😂

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

You would probably be a nightmare becsuse uou would regale the jury with your exploits and would quite happily tell them about leaving your victims bodies to medical science.xx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to CT-5012]

I suspect those dog walkers. It can't just be a coincidence. You need to make sure that the bodies are weighted properly and that the water is deep enough to not get dragged up by fishermen and theres another group of people who are suspicious. Xx

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

OMG YB (and others here who shall not be named): All I can say is WHAT HAVE I STARTED HERE with an innocently intended humorous (allegedly) Post?

At this rate we'll ALL be chucked off the Forum for Conspiracy to, er, Pervert the Course of Justice - not to mention a few other Devious, Homicidal and Messy ideas involving any or all of Clingfilm, Weights, Doggies and Car Boot Scams. I'm sure The Old Bill will be interested in this thread too. And Interpol. And the RSPCA. Gawd Elp Us....

But even more serious (if that's possible?): You Lot are all going Off-Topic AGAIN despite dire warnings from me and a few others around here.

If it all comes crashing down, just don't blame me - Ok? (on the other hand, go ahead - I can take it)

Keep smiling and having Fun..

MB

[Blearyeyed in reply to markbenjamin57]

Sorry Uncle ,

But it is interesting to observe the sort of stuff you need advice with while suffering from a chronic illness .

Got to keep those flares at bay , even if we have totally given up on a cure for insanity!!😂😂😂

Hugs , Ribbett 🐸🐸🐸

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

I should really know better than have this type of conversation where it could come back to haunt me, especially as there are still a few judges around here that would love to put me in the cells if only for a night!!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

But at least you'd get free Board and Lodging - and a rest from Us Lot...

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

No if i go down you lot are coming with me!! My defence will be along the lines that I might have been slightly mad before the pmr but its more likely I was led astray by this site and you lot.xx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

We'll just have to wheel out that escape plan we came up with when we talked about absconding custody last time , looks like Daisychain will have to get her hula skirt and tassles out again!😂😂😂

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Do you mean You and That (other) Lot since I vehemently deny having any association with anyone here unless purely for Comedic Purposes.

I am therefore subject to Diplomatic Immunity from Prosecution under the Being Silly Without Due Care and Attention / Being Silly Dangerously / Being Silly without wearing a Seatbelt Laws etc.

I rest my Case, M'Lud ;-/ x

[Blearyeyed in reply to markbenjamin57]

I don't actually think you can declare yourself to be Switzerland?!

We all blame you anyway as the Master behind all Delusions when we get caught by the Law anyway.😋

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Blearyeyed]

Ohhh.. Although I'm not a Wiki-type of person it's a fair cop all the same? Guilty as Charged. All that the Relevant Authorities need to do now is to locate me and bang-me-up Good 'N' Proper for my crimes.

[Blearyeyed in reply to markbenjamin57]

It's alright last time me and YB got pulled in we drew moustaches and silly red noses on your wanted posters so they couldn't find you. xx

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Blearyeyed]

Phew... thanks x

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

"Comedic purposes" never heard of that as a defence but I have heard worse so you might just scrape though with that extremely weak defence.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

From experience, playing the Pity Card often works when One is fighting one's way out of a Legal corner.

You'll probably be familiar this type of thing: any or all of "Insanity, Involuntary Manic Laughter, Sleep Deprivation, PMR, Pred-induced Brain Fog, Childhood Trauma, The Escalating Price of Asparagus in LIDL, Severe Anxiety Attacks as a Result of the Br*x*t Uncertainty, being an HRH and still driving at age 97 without a seatbelt..", etc. etc. The cards are stacked against me, M'Lud.

Mr Marcus Chucklebuttocks QC

Counsel for The Defence...

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

Is this your mitigation for everything you have done thats delinquent ?UB

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

On account of my having been born with a simple mind (sorry - I blame my mother): could you explain any polysyllabic (i.e. big / long / complicated) words in Plain English?

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

"Mitigation" a means of lessening the seriousness of an action/or actions by giving excuses as to why the have been carried out. In your case "i blame my mother" would be a starting point and then I personally would move on to your relationship with tedski!!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Ahh, ok then. But I fear that Tedski would probably see his relationship with me more as a financially contractual one more than anything...

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

Well that explanation would reassure the most suspicious of legal minds that you are completely sane!! That's before the medical bods waded in!! God alone knows what they would think. I will admit I have seen people being sectioned for less worrying behaviour than the relationship you and others on the forum have with a stuffed bear (Sorry Tedski). I come under this worrying behaviour as well!!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Yeah, early morning dog walkers happening on bodies , very suspicious.

Probably just using the dog as an unwitting accomplice to their crimes , and pretending to find their victims because they have PMR and don't have enough energy to bury the bodies .

( Obviously , not serious !😁😂😋)

[karools16]

Will get through that diatribe tomorrow. What I will say is ;normal is boring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to karools16]

So agree! I’m glad to say my life has never been normal!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to DorsetLady]

I must admit very few people would ever call me normal either!!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to karools16]

I quiet agree karools...

[SheffieldJane]

🙁😐🙃🙂😀😆😂🌷

[allykat]

Well I think I am mildly bonkers but then was I like this before GCA/PMR? Depends who you ask I suppose. I think generally I fall somewhere between NB and SMB. Thanks for the smiles!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to allykat]

All part of the service kat..

[Marymon]

Well done Mark, you show an in-depth knowledge of all things PMR/Pred.👨🏻‍🎓

My score was very high as could relate to all statements at one time or another, although not followed through, so far.🔨 too messy.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Marymon]

Just as well Monica, you can get banged-up for that kind of thing (ask Tedski..)

[Marymon in reply to markbenjamin57]

So that where he disappeared to last year⛓🗝

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Marymon]

He went AWOL just after the PMRGCA Members' Day and is now out on Bail..

[Marymon in reply to markbenjamin57]

That day showed him there is a whole world outside WSM. He must have taken the opportunities that the capital can offer to get banged-up, I hope he didn’t slam the limo into two innocent ladies, although he could have got away with that😵 bang bang.

Sorry wandered off piste.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Marymon]

Ha! Who knows what he got up to? Main thing is, the Limo is safe and sound.

AND PLEASE DON'T GO OFF-TOPIC AGAIN!!!

[Marymon in reply to markbenjamin57]

🤭🥺😜

[Blearyeyed in reply to Marymon]

I find those plastic decorating sheets they sell at the DIY shop solve the messy issues of dealing with the more unhelpful white coated devils if that's any help😂😂😂 Bee xx

[Marymon in reply to Blearyeyed]

Thanks, I take it you have found use for them. 🧖‍♂️🧖‍♂️🧖‍♂️

Hope it doesn’t come to that 😫😝😖

[Blearyeyed in reply to Marymon]

As a PMR/ GCA Girl Scout though it's always good to be prepared😂😂😂

Have a great day , Bee xxx

[Harbel]

😀😳😂🤔

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Harbel]

You couldn't make-up this kind of Nonsense (or could you)..?

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

For me this nonsense comes from a lifetime of having to be serious, when I was quite obviously a bit of a looney to start with. I blame my mother!!

[Angiejnz]

I knew I was in trouble when I looked at option e first and worked backwards (or not) to option a. I've definitely got SMB variety, genus H (happily). Very witty and we'll written as usual,💖💖

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Angiejnz]

Thanks Angie, I originally posted this one a couple of years ago but thought it was worth a repeat for some of the Newbies here..

[Blearyeyed in reply to markbenjamin57]

Definitely , hadn't seen it before , absolutely one of your best xx

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Blearyeyed]

Ohh.. please pay more attention..! (only joking)

[jinasc]

Mark, you could not post the link but I can:- pmrgca.co.uk/content/book

The book is well worth it and it raises money for the Charity which is still run 99% by Volunteers.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to jinasc]

Thanks Mavis

[Daisychain12]

Dear Markbenjamin. As well as being bonkers I am schtoopid. I can’t find the book!!! Can you post a link please? Xxx

[HeronNS in reply to Daisychain12]

writemefunny.co.uk/

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Daisychain12]

Schtoopid, Schmoopid - Whaadever. See links from Heron and Jinasc...

[York54]

😂😂😂😂☹️☹️☹️🤔🤔🤔🤔

[katiemills]

Thank you Mark- this cheered me up enough to try and haul myself out of bed ! I'm a Newbie and have just ordered your book....still chuckling about the supermarket trolley ......

[markbenjamin57 in reply to katiemills]

Thanks Katie, glad it raised a giggle, your book will be in the post tomorrow. Just make sure you wear a crash helmet if you try the trolley surfing... :-D.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

This is a serious safety recommendation from Mark. I have trolley surfed without, but trolleys are not easy to steer and bollards and lamp posts do cause an abrupt stop.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

In a previous Professional Life I was once a Police-associated Speed Awareness Road Safety Trainer for 'Naughty' Speeders (can you believe that?!). Private Tuition on the Supermarket Trolley Highway Code and Advanced Trolley Handling Techniques available on request. PM me in confidence for more details..

Trolley Traffic Police Sergeant MB

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

Wow I would definitely have enrolled on that course because I will admit the general public have been at risk when the trolley has been at full speed. The last policeman who caugjt me speeding nearly wet himself although o am not sure if this was from fear or hysterical laughter.

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer]

Dear Sirs,

With reference to your latest survey I would like to make the following points 📌📌.

Either you are losing the plot, or I am! Plot....what plot!

I appreciate we must do all we can by recycling, but you know what they say about repeating yourself........

repeating yourself.....

repeating yourself......

You posted similar 6 months ago,, or someone’s been at the plagiarism button again. Is this to see how many of us are still awake, alive, compos mentis or even give a damn (frankly my dear...!).

As you know, I am FMB - have been most of my life...just ask the kids........no on second thoughts probably best not to.....they are already scarred enough!

I remain yours, DL. FMB 🎖with bar

[markbenjamin57 in reply to DorsetLady]

Dear Countess DL of Dorsetshire

Yes, I confess to it being a Cunning Plot to wake-up a few of You Existing Lot AND for the benefit of Newbies here. I'll qualify that: .. Newbies who haven't got better things to do than read my inane Drivelling (or was it dribbling?). All I can say is: 'Gawd Elp Em'.

I am so sorry that you have Chronic FMB - a distressing and usually terminal condition for which there is currently no known cure. Your family would be best advised to seek the services of a decent Horse Vet who can humanely put you out of their misery if things get too much. Please pass on my sympathies to them.

Yours obligingly

Prof. Marcus Chucklebuttocks (at the bar - hic)

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to markbenjamin57]

Nah.....they wouldn’t want to waste their inheritance !

Little do they know I’m busy SKIing - Spending Kids Inheritance.🤣😂🤣

[Blearyeyed in reply to DorsetLady]

Absolutely grand plan , leave them one penny each and an album of smiling photographs of you on holiday showing them what spending the inheritance looks like. Sure they'll appreciate it in the will , in about 50 years time Queen Freya , we are not letting you escape yet! xxx

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to Blearyeyed]

Queen?, queen? Goddess if you don't mind!!

Oh believe me I don't intend to go yet .....if my maternal family tree is anything to go by, good for at least another 20 years.

Blessings!

[Blearyeyed in reply to DorsetLady]

Thank goodness GODDESS Freya , I had just started panicking making contingency plans about how to collect your Big Blue Chariot Pulling Cats to make sure they were well cared for and fed , you know how useless the kids can be about looking after the pets!😂😂😂😂😋

Umm, no sign of bonkers here ! xx

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to Blearyeyed]

None whatsoevaaa!

Cats 🐈🐈🐈 would probably be alright with daughter - although the dog and chickens might not be too keen (hers not mine!)

They’d have fly to NZ on their own though - and I don’t know if the GPS (Goddess’s Personal SatNav) would work without my magic touch!

[Blearyeyed in reply to DorsetLady]

Better drop them off on Anglesey with me then , in the distant future of course, I could do with a new ride!

Have a great day , hug the cats for me , Queen Venom of Bonkerainia xxx

[Suet3942]

Love all the bonkerness. You cheer us-lot up no end. 🤪🤪

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Suet3942]

Thanks Sue. That said, a few of You Lot are probably asking: 'Is there no end..'?

[Jackoh]

Well I’m seriously worried because I don’t remember reading it before!! According to you and Dorset Lady this must be at least the third time I’ve read it!! Oh dear!! Maybe for folks like me Mark post it every month we’ll still enjoy reading it thinking we were reading it for the first time!!! 👍😀

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Jackoh]

When I looked back, I think I originally wrote this Daft stuff about two years ago. But maybe I've repeated it in between times and I'm losing the Plot too! Dunno about a monthly repeat - although you've just given me an idea for a variation on the theme...

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to Jackoh]

Ohhh no PLEASE!

[Jackoh in reply to DorsetLady]

What’s it worth? 😜

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to Jackoh]

A box of dark chocolate and a bottle of bubbly. 🍫🍾😏

[Jackoh in reply to DorsetLady]

Wow! That serious eh!! Xx

[bunnymom]

😀😀😀

[Hellyowl]

All my appointments are overdue and none of my doctors have sent for me, I think they did your test on me and don't want me near them !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🐱‍🚀

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Hellyowl]

Ohhh... Nooo...! :-(. On the other hand, that might be a positive sign?

[Jackie2]

Loved it and it so made me chuckle out loud on what has been a bad GCA symptom weekend. I shall print it out and read regularly as part of my treatment 😂

thank you so much Mark, will be buying your book too.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Jackie2]

Greetings Jackie

Ohhh.. sorry you've been struggling, I'm sure many of Us Lot can relate. PMR and GCA are such unpredictable illnesses at the best of times - and despite our best efforts to manage them.

On the positive side: you managed to have a chuckle at my Daft Ramblings, so things could be worse I guess? I've just received your book order - sincere thanks - and I'll sprint down to my local Post Office tomorrow to post your copy by 1st Class Royal Mail (only the best for Us Lot?). Ok, well, maybe I'll 'shuffle' down to.. etc :-D.

Best wishes and try to keep smiling on the Journey. And remember the old saying: 'This, Too, Will Pass..'

'Uncle' MB

[Jackie2 in reply to markbenjamin57]

‘This too will pass’ has become my mantra and the fat Pred Cat picture is on my fridge 😂😂. Looking forward to furthers chuckles in your book too.

Safe shuffling to the post office Uncle MB and thank you for your kind words and wonderful humour 😂

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Jackie2]

No worry Jackie, all part of the service

[Grants148]

Thanks Mark,l did not score very well in fact l think l lost my marbles this last week,and l don’t mean glass ones ! I am rather worried because a friend left me a message on messenger asking if l could still make it on Tuesday ?l do not know what she is talking about ,l also seem to be a week ahead of myself and told another friend that there were two appointments next week regarding the WI,and that made her think she had lost a week because the appointments are not next week but the following one .lf you are finding all this confusing,l am confused myself,l shall have to buy your book,is there some hope it could help me become more alert ! I can only blame it on pred head or the dreaded hardly dare mention it Brexit !! Love to Tedski,at least l can remember his name.

[Blearyeyed in reply to Grants148]

Been there , done that !!

Even before PMR/ GCA and mind altering drugs , I have always been a lost cause.

Well before GCA/ PMR , a got a message of can you make it on ... from one friend while thinking about a birthday cake I was making for someone else.

Got them all confused , left one friend at an art gallery alone , quaffing wine in a corner hiding from the Art Squad Casanova's and took the zombie cemetery birthday cake triumphantly to the other , her stood in dressing gown and slippers with a confused expression on her face , it was three weeks early.

As you can tell , some of us really are a lost cause , enjoy your Senior moments , it's good to show the kids that we are still crazy , live and kicking!!! Bee xx

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Grants148]

Sorry for this late reply Patricia. What you describe sounds pretty normal for PMR and the Preds (i.e Brain Fog / Pred Head etc). I can relate...

If it helps: one of the arguably therapeutic benefits of buying my silly book is that, even if you don't find it funny, the Nonsense in it will probably make you realise that you aren't as demented as me. And.. it has some handy alternative practical uses when you've finished with it. But of course you have to read it to find out..

Tedski is well, thanks. I've sent him out today in the icy weather with an instruction to count the seagulls on WSM seafront. That'll keep him busy for a while

[Grants148]

P S,l shall have to phone my friend tomorrow to ask her about Tuesday,l hope l don’t forget.so sad isn ‘t it.........

[DavidMF]

Well done Mark for repeating this well written expose. Also to Dorset Lady who's always awake and noticed the repeat, (Can't get away with anything on this site)

Great start to 2019 thought process.

[Blearyeyed]

Uncle ,

I have only just seen you wonderful and very witty post , it was the perfect antedote to my weekend.

I was , alittle worried about answering the questions in case it was some sort of stealth attack to find those forum members that deserve to be committed, and let's face it with my usual posts and replies , watching out for the men in white coats with the strait jackets has become a 24 hour job!!

But did it , I have .

Answers to all sections were E , except for Physical , all answers except E were correct and Emotional which was a lovely healthy A ++

Because I know I am a Frog , a tiara wearing frog , but I am very happy being a lovely , glittering frog , even if I am not hot to hop just now😋

Any advice about how not to murder the 'professionals' whom keep shoving their spoons at me however would be hugely appreciated , as I hear the beds that they tie you to in the clink are not that comfortable and I would prefer to dodge that pain if possible,

Yours , as ever , your completely bonkers ( and likely to be drooling ) Niece , ribbett!!😨

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Blearyeyed]

[Yellowbluebell]

I am pleased to announce i am only SMB!! My problem was I have used a supermarket trolley around a carpark many years before PMR was diagnosed. It's a bit of a white knuckle ride but seriously fun especially if accompanied by your OH and two children screaming behind you. Stopping is an issue though! Maybe SMB is a bit of hopeful thinking on my part!!xx

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Shopping Trolley Olympics Contestant, both inside and outside the supermarket , for the last 40 years . Pretty sure even I couldn't have had PMR/GCA at 8!!

Sure it was the cheapest form of entertainment in Uni and as new parents with no spare cash for the fun fair.

By the way , what's your score , no point in lying , anybody who reads some of our conversations knows we are a pair of big glittery tiara wearing frogs, but we save the x-ray vision while pursuing our duties as members of the PMR/ GCA Avengers League.

Hugs , Bee aka Venom , Queen of Bonkerainia xxxx

[Yellowbluebell in reply to Blearyeyed]

25. I told you I was sane!! I love shopping trolley racing but it was always more risky at closing time in the pubs so the Local police were out in force. I only ever got caught a couple of times!!

[Blearyeyed in reply to Yellowbluebell]

I know , my friends broke a finger and a nose between them one night after the pub at Uni , don't pretend to be Dam Busters with one passenger on the shoulders of the other , arms out like a plane , making nasally pilot noises if you don't want permenant injury or a night in A and E.

Not that we could manage that level of athleticism these days with the PMR , although it might be fun trying !

And help to keep your neighbours amused , how is Count Bela Legosi today ? Managed to gain an invitation over your threshold yet ?

Hope he came up with a better excuse than bringing you some seeds , anyone could see through that plan!

Must actually try to add up my score now , no , let's just say off the chart is more than adequate !! xx

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

(sorry to interrupt).. in my adventurous and heady 20s I went to a Christmas Fancy Dress party at my local boozer done-up as the late Max Wall - one of my Comedy Heroes. You know: black tights, winklepicker boots, dinner jacket, bald wig, fiendish grin, etc). At closing time I got in my car to drive home (note: relatively sober and perfectly safely) but was quickly stopped by the Old Bill on WSM seafront, blue lights flashing. Obligingly, I got out of my car to greet and comply with the Traffic Police Officer's request. We both stood in the middle of the road, he looked me up-and-down in initial confusion and, after a long pause, fell-about laughing and just said: "Just checking for stolen vehicles - have a good evening Sir". True story...

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to markbenjamin57]

When driving, there is NOTHING such as "relatively sober"...

Rant over ...

[markbenjamin57 in reply to PMRpro]

Can't argue with that.

At the same time, how may perfectly sober (alcohol-wise) Drivers should have their Licence revoked for performing dangerous manoeuvres and / or causing RTCs involving Injury (or worse) for any or all of: Inappropriate Speed in the Prevailing Conditions (regardless of the Legal Speed Limit), Driving whilst Under the Influence of / or with Judgement impaired by certain Medications or other Substances, Dangerous Driving etc?

Or (as in with a certain person in the UK news recently..? - Ohhhh!).

It's all in the latest edition of the UK Highway Code

[Yellowbluebell in reply to PMRpro]

I have had my little rant as well.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

I agree totally with pmrpro on this one but I agree there are hundreds of drivers who should never be on the roads. OH has had to cut too many people out of mangled wreckages over the years caused by drunk drivers. But you were young so some leeway can be given. Not sure I can give any leeway on your fancy dress though!!!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

It takes me back to my days as a public Speed Awareness Trainer for 'Naughty Speeders' from all walks of Society and of all ages from 18 to 80+. We used to diplomatically ask them in a Group Chat: "What caused you not only miss the Speed Limit / School Crossing etc signs and other Hazards but also 'THAT Bl**dy' (in their words) Enforcement Camera which brought you here today?!".

The group response was usually honest and open. Predictable answers like any or all of Distraction, Tiredness, Rushing, Stress, Not concentrating, On 'Auto-Pilot' on familiar roads, New car, Unaware of Stopping Distances in an Emergency, etc etc. And of course, a few who just thought they could get away with it (but weren't alert enough to - ha!). And yes: probably also a few who were also Under the Influence (of whatever?) at the time but who escaped a far worse Fate. Mmmm...

On one of the courses, a charming young man held his hand up contritely and admitted: "I have a new Girlfriend and was On a Promise that day - so I was rushing to get to her place". The entire group laughed, but the Point was made all the same: Driving is a Serious Business even when on the same old trip popping-down to local supermarket at '30-ish' in a 30 Speed Limit instead of the Appropriate Speed for the conditions. It's the 'Ish' factor that often makes the difference between a collision (and worse) or not. No doubt your OH knows Chapter and Verse about these things?

I'm very fortunate in a driving career of 45 years. Never an own-fault collision and only one minor bash otherwise - Defensive Driving is the Key. My early IAM Training and studying the Official Police Drivers' Manual ('Roadcraft') has done me well. And, of course, meeting and working / understanding the Psychology of hundreds of 'Naughty' Speeders and their Attitudes to Road Safety Awareness through my recent work contract.

I recommend either of the above to everyday / 'Social Domestic and Pleasure (or Professional) Drivers of any age who want to keep themselves and others safe on our increasingly busy UK roads. For our (slightly older?) age group, there are also many Local Authority sponsored courses on Driver Awareness and Safety. Easy to look-up and plug-in to..

(Whoops, sorry, Off-Topic again. Duggghhhh...!)

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

OH was also a coach driver a long time ago and like you has never had an accident due to his driving.and luckily has never had any one else hit him. He did have a run in with a pheasant one day though!! He Is always amazed at how badly some people drive. Our eldest daughter is married to a policeman but unfortunately he has not impressed OH with his driving abilities. He likes speed but has started driving more responsibly when in the family car but unfortunately for Sussex Police he has managed to crash 4 police cars!!! OH opinion on his.driving skills is not something I can repeat here.

Like you say there are courses for people to improve their driving but the ones that need it most always think they are brill drivers!!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Ohhhh!! I agree: some Drivers are in a complete state of Denial about their competence. Speed isn't the main issue: it's how Drivers manage it in context.

To be continued...

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

If I put you and OH in a room together I am sure you could sort out all the bad drivers. I have rants about how mental health patients are treat and he rants about drivers. Marriage made in heaven.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

I'm sure your OH and and I would have a great meeting of Minds about this!

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to markbenjamin57]

You aren't telling me you haven't had the arrogant s%^&* who are only doing the course to avoid whatever it is you can avoid and who still believe they are wonderful? Daughter No 1 slid into the back of the car in front (totally her fault) so did one and said half the men were sniggering about it.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to PMRpro]

Over here, many police forces offer 'naughty' speeders driver education courses as an alternative to prosecution / points on their licence / higher insurance premiums etc: so long as the excess speed is within a certain margin. Above that, they go to court. Yep, you could tell that there were always a few 'clients' (men and women regardless of age etc!) who would leave with no intention of changing their driving behaviour. But many were very appreciative and you felt that they genuinely wanted to do the right thing. In fact, many older drivers (60+) would tell us after the session that it had been a useful refresher since they hadn't picked up a copy of the Highway Code since they passed their driving test 40-ish years ago!

Re. your daughter: the vast majority of minor and major collisions are caused by driver error - usually, too fast / too close to other vehicles in the prevailing conditions. It's a bit of a myth that men are 'better' drivers than women. And that older drivers are less safe than younger ones. The DOT Stats prove that...

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

OH has just reminded me of an elderly friend who is still driving at 85. 18 months ago I got a call saying she had been in an RTA. We dashed to the scene (knowing some traffic police does help cut through the tailback caused by your friend) to find her car parked in the hedge and was definitely a write off. It turned out it wasn't her fault but she said in front of the police that she had twice been caught speeding and had had the choice of a fine/points or a speed awareness course. Her response was " I am not going on a course to teach me to drive slowly". Just after Christmas she told OH she had written off 2 water board vans and caused £2000 of damage to her own year old car in December. She then admitted she has cataracts but had been and had one eye done. When we questioned her about how she shouldn't be driving we were met with "I am 85 and will drive when I want and the police can't stop me!" Unfortunately I have been obliged to report her. I feel guilty but I would never forgive myself if she hurt anyone because of her driving.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Yep: it's all been in the national news recently after a certain HRH was involved in a RTC. A difficult topic in terms of older people's (defiant?) wishes to retain personal mobility via the car. But, as you say, sometimes N&D MUST intervene for that and other people's safety on the Roads: and deal with the social consequences later...

[Yellowbluebell in reply to markbenjamin57]

Her driving isn't about her age and there are some good drivers older then her, it's purely about her driving ability. It turned out when speaking to mutual friend that she's always been a dreadful driver.

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Yellowbluebell]

So true. Not so much about age as competence?

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Here there is an eye test and declaration to complete every 3 years after 70 - not self-completion, done by the local registered community doctor so if they fudge it and the person has an accident they risk losing a lot. But that same process is done by everyone every 5 years. Which I think is quite right and proper.

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Yellowbluebell]

Yes, paramedic daughter has dealt with the sort your OH cut out - and all too often, there was nothing to be done.

[Yellowbluebell in reply to PMRpro]

I know, and that's hard to take time after time. Getting someone out, no matter how quick often isn't enough. Even if you had the facilities of a trauma hospital at the side of the road a lot of people just don't stand a chance!

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Yellowbluebell]

She's suffered PTSD - police still get sent home after a death, they barely get a loo-break and are sent to the next job. But she's transferring to A&E - same sort of things to do but in a more controlled environment with LIGHTS and support!!!

[Yellowbluebell in reply to PMRpro]

The support our emergency services get is ridiculous. My policeman son in law was the first person on the scene at the Shoreham air disaster 2 years ago. A plane doing stunts at a display crashed into the busy dual carriageway killing motorists. The scene was horrendous and yet the police were all expected back on normal shifts within 48 hours. As OH had seen horrible things he was able to talk it through with SIL but he still ended up with PTSD. They were eventually given access to counselling but not enough and not soon enough. OH says fire brigade were slightly better but not much. Hopefully your daughter can use her skill in a better supported environment when she goes to A&E. Good luck to herx

[Ruidoso74]

Love your quiz! Thanks for taking the time to share and cheer the rest of us! 😁😂😵😳😱

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Ruidoso74]

All part of the service Ruidoso..

[Grants148]

Thanks Bee for your post,glad l am not the only one ! l had a message from my friend to say it is too cold to meet up tomorrow,l still have no idea where we were going,l can’t even remember arranging anything with her,she did not answer her phone this morning so l have not yet found out anything ! I have had several birthdays to deal with this last week and several days out shopping etc.,l think that was enough for my brain to be not in a fog ,more like a thick cloud.Take care Bee ATB,xxx.

[Blearyeyed in reply to Grants148]

Had so many of those phone calls over the years , good thing is when they ring to cancel you just have to agree and not let on that you had no idea what you were meant to be doing in the first place.

You dodged a bullet, I have even tried writing a list , but then I end up forgetting where I put it.

Or some evil elves are moving it to speed up my trip to the booby hatch.

And this was normal service well before PMR/ GCA so I can't even use that as an excuse.

Have a lovely day , and enjoy your relaxing day tomorrow , even if you can't remember why you were meant to be busy in the first place , hugs , bee xx

[Dream21]

Thank you for the chuckles, especially on series of bad days. It is so true and humor helps. Surprise us later with another post down the road. Thanks for making my day!

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Dream21]

Greetings Dream, glad you enjoyed the silliness. More to come soon

[Grants148]

Thanks for your reply Mark,l am looking forward to reading your book .l hope you provided Tedski with a warm Duffle coat and wellies !

[markbenjamin57 in reply to Grants148]

No worry, hope you enjoy it. As for Tedski? Nope, I sent him out just wearing Bermuda shorts and sunglasses. My logic is that since he is furry and has Siberian blood he won't feel the Cold like I do? Brrrrrr... let's hope for a warm Spring and Summer?