Acceptance has been the key.: When I look back over... - PMRGCAuk

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Acceptance has been the key.

bunnymom profile image
27 Replies

When I look back over the last 2 and a half years with PMR I think the key for me to having a better daily life has been acceptance. I tried to figure it out, possible and impossible. Started getting a track record. Learned to ask from help from my friends here. I now look at the long term and don't expect to suddenly be well. (can still happen but I don't count on it :). So that has meant taking an earlier retirement than what I had intended, changing to a lower carb diet, not no carb, but lower. I am within 3 lbs of my starting weight. I had had a bad experience with weight gain on a drug before PMR so I was cautious at the start. I am living life as a chronically ill person. I don't expect others to care or really be interested. Week after week who wants to hear about it? I do have a few good friends who have other chronic illness and we are on the same page and that is who I talk with. I go a music and movement class for older women and that has helped. I just started CBD oil last week and I think I have less stiffness. I am living life on life's terms for now and that is making all the difference.

Uncle Mark posted at the beginning of my journey that he felt he was at 50% mentally and physically. I was at that same place. I now gauge for myself what percent my day is and that helps a lot. I am now at 7 and better but not well. I was diagnosed last week with shingles. I came home and laughed, well why not!! The pred I am already taking are causing them not to be too painful. Who knew!?

So be encouraged. You are valiant, learning to live life on new terms. You can be successful and have joy in the place you find yourself.

Wishing you joy in your journey,

Bunnymom

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27 Replies
Telian profile image
Telian

Good for you Bunnymom acceptance certainly is key to moving forwards with your illness - you know your limitations and how to deal with whatever’s thrown at you - be proud of yourself. ATB.

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to Telian

You too!

Mikb profile image
Mikb

Great attitude! Best of luck for the rest of your journey.

Daisychain12 profile image
Daisychain12

Bless you bunny. Wonderful words and very inspirational. Thank you xxxx

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to Daisychain12

One day at a time Daisy chain. You can do it. Xx

Daisychain12 profile image
Daisychain12 in reply to bunnymom

Yes. You are right. I sometimes get a warm feeling of happiness and I grab at it. When I look at the good things in life I’m so grateful xxx

enan-illuc profile image
enan-illuc

Bunnymom,

Thank you. That is very good advice and inspirational. Congratulations on hitting 7mg, that in itself is an accomplishment.

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom

Has been a long time in coming.

Rose54 profile image
Rose54

So true

Learning to live with it helps a lot

Its a longer journey then we thought but thier will be a end at some point ,

I personal will be happy to get down to 5 a day and stay thier for as long as it takes .At present going from 8 to 7.5 after 3 years

Good luck to you on your journey .

Sandy1947 profile image
Sandy1947

Acceptance is key! Going through stages to get there is part of the process. I too, took retirement as a result of PMR. I see it as part blessing, part new challenge and part facing aging with fear and wonder. Exploration, new friends, going to the gym in the morning and living in the slow lane require adjustment. I lost the fight in my belly and the tolerance for b.s. High heels, no botox, evening dates are done! I am feeling vulnerable.

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer

As you know I’m big on acceptance!

You are so right, acceptance is one of the major keys to getting through this - and lots of things. Not “giving in” as some see it, but “accepting” . It’s also sometimes the most difficult thing to do!

Well done.

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to DorsetLady

Yes getting to acceptance had been a journey and you and pmr pro advised to do it quickly!

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to bunnymom

Yes we old fogies (me, not herself) do sometimes know what we’re talking about! And that it’s easier said than done!

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to DorsetLady

And I agree with my friend ;-)

I have had my ear burned by people a few times for preaching acceptance - but the difference it makes is like night and day.

Koalajane profile image
Koalajane

My PMR has changed my outlook on life. I now can look back and see how far I have come since diagnosis. I could not even go up and down the stairs or get off the toilet without assistance. I can now. I can go for walks and am enjoying seeing things I never noticed before. I had 6 months off work (checkout operator) and now back albeit on reduced hours. I feel better for it even though some days I ache a lot. But I can do so much more now and am grateful for it.

Telian profile image
Telian in reply to Koalajane

Well done you!

Lovely post bunnymom!

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to

Thank you. We can all appreciate what it takes to get where we are.

Linny3 profile image
Linny3

I totally agree with you. Seems like the minute I accepted it for what it was, changed my life style and learned to say no and not care what anyone thought, I was so much better off mentally. I have my moments but they are few and far between.

Interesting about the shingles and prednisone. I got a mild case of them and never thought about the prednisone helping keep them mild. thanks

PMRCanada profile image
PMRCanada

I loved your post bunnymom. Very articulate and accurate. Seems to me we go through stages with these conditions, moving from pre/no/misdiagnosis through to acceptance. Like Kubler Ross's five stages of grief, I have experienced Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

Now that I can accept that I have PMR (diagnosed May/18), I understand it will be a long-term experience of years rather than months. Being a bit of a control freak, acceptance meant letting go of my desire to take care of this right here and now, which of course didn't happen and resulted in growing anger and frustration. Instead I try and focus on what I CAN control and do in the here and now including diet, exercise and rest. That way my body is best able to deal with the challenges presented by this condition and heal. My mind feels more at peace instead of whirling in panic or dipping into the depths of depression. I too took an early retirement last year at age 55, before any of this happened, and although I still resent, at times, that my retirement is nothing like I had planned, I am ever grateful I did not have to work going through all of this.

Sounds like you've accepted and embraced the cards you've been dealt. Love your concept of living life on life's terms and as a chronically ill person. Now if I could just get a few other folks in my world to understand that concept. Wish you all the best moving forward.

karools16 profile image
karools16

Excellent post. All the very best to you. x

nuigini profile image
nuigini

An excellent philosophy and one that I share! You laid it out so well. Continue to enjoy life to the fullest bunnymom. Sorry to hear about shingles though.

morrison profile image
morrison

Thank you. Very well said. Xx

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane

Lovely post!

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to SheffieldJane

Thanks ❤️

aladymo profile image
aladymo

Well written and welcomed. Took me awhile to “accept” the new me , and as I travel down this road, I’m sure I’ll be accepting many more things. In an odd way, this disease gives us strength, and courage , teaches us patience and compassion. Thank you bunnymom 👏

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom

I have learned many things over the past 3 years that only PMR could have taught me but.....I wouldn't wish it on anyone else.

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