Winter Solstice

[WIZARD6787]

Today is the Winter Solstice in New Hampshire USA.

I had set a goal to not be sun deprived on the winter solstice. I achieved that goal. It was a near thing and the weather was favorable.

I did not set the goal of not being sun deprived on the winter solstice or at any time prior. I did get sun deprived but was able to do what I call a catch.

Funny how it seems I reach a goal sometimes and find it might have been better to make a different goal. That being said a factor in my becoming sun deprived was the toll on my body of doing two successful trials.

So I want to set a 90 day goal. The reason for 90 days is that will be April 01 2024. The weather then will be conducive to healing most likely.

I have crashed every year in February and or March my whole life. The likely reason is that time of year was too stressful for my body to adjust to being B12 deficient and most recently from my self undertreatment of B12. Last year was not as bad and did lead to my more successful under treatment of B12 as I increased to injecting 1 mg three times a day. I was also in Scotland and the weather there is much more favorable than here.

Without using rose colored glasses the reality is the goal should be to not crash this year. A realistic positive outcome is that I experience a less severe crash.

Reality is never positive or negative it just is. I am positive having unrealistic expectations is negative thinking.

The crash has been more severe and lasted longer as I became more and more B12 deficient.

Note: On aging no one knows shite about how each individual ages although may attribute anything and everything to aging. It is easy and well accepted. I have fought that bigotry my whole age. Applying the general understanding of aging which is shared by the medical field I got really really old in 2020 and been getting younger ever since. It is a case of knowing the age of a person and using that as an accepted explanation. People tend to be in denial about how a particular person ages and are confident not only that they know but get something out of telling me what they have no reason to believe they know.

Setting a 90 day goal of having a less severe crash sucks. If it was a simple matter of getting through a crash and not having to work on healing so next year maybe I will not crash that I could deal with easier. Fact is if I crash than I will have to design and live in hopes that maybe next year I will not crash. Not how I want to live my life.

OK went for a ride and did some good work. I will design a 90 day self treatment plan which will include a self supplementation plan. I will loosely use the business plan as a model. Business is easy as long as you don't do it and pretend you know what is required. Doing it not so much.

So there a bridge I drive to. It is a good place for me to go and it is both a priority and a measure. If I don't go that tells me something. If I don't get there until later than that tells me something. How I feel going there, being there and coming back tells me something. The frequency of the sound the brook makes resonates with my DNA. Just kidding. It is good for me and the reasons are unknown. A matter of discovery. It is a try and understand where I am at. I have done this much of my life. The first being looking through a kaleidoscope each morning.

April 01 is a day of evaluation and deconstructing the last year. That too has also always been my way. I want to stay away from if I can only make it to April 01 than... I will compartmentalize that by using open water swimming as my only ... Thinking about that is going to happen anyway.

The first part of a business plan is to honestly evaluate assets. That always sucks due to the honesty. I have done business plans for other people and it is easier if it is not you.

Creativity and imagination require that any plan is a plan to deviate from.

I have ordered a calendar and will mark down a 0 for any day that how I act with regards to the weather require recovery other than a nights sleep. And a 1 when the weather itself requires recovery. That will likely only be amount of cloud cover. The rest can be handled with how I act.

Which finally brings me to why I am writing here. Does the positive benefit of designing and doing a trial and risking the results of that trial outweigh going with the progress I have made so far with my designs. Which likely would include a down turn which would be more extreme due to the current weather.

I did try the find what works method without evaluation or imagination. That would be inject whatever form of B12 is cheaper in as many parts of my body as I could as often as I could and see what happens. I choose to evaluate and use my imagination.

I guess it really is about will I be more satisfied if I go to the trouble of designing and implementing a design on the chance of improving and crash or if I just go with the best regiment I have discovered and crash. It is not knowable which is more likely to prevent a crash.

First thing is to write and print out what I know I want to do.

This might be my weirdest post to date.