does anybody else have a partner who symptoms are always worse than yours?

don't get me wrong, I have a lovely husband, who has been really good to me, he does most of the housework, cooking, washing etc, I know he really loves me but!!

I do have one bugbear though. why is it whenever I tell him my arm hurts or my leg hurts. His pain is always worse!!!. I might say something like, " my arm is really painful today" to which he will invariably reply. " my knees are killing me " and go on to explain in great detail why and how they are so painful.

Is it a male thing? or just him. it is infuriating, it would be nice, occasionally to just have an acknowledgement that I'm in pain,without it turning into a competition. !!

7 Replies

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  • At the risk of sounding like a traitor to my gender, I think it's definitely a guy thing. A lot of men can be big babies (or tend to boast, or get competitive) and I've always thought that most women can tolerate pain a lot better than men. Not sure if that has anything to with child-bearing, but sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if men had to be the ones to give birth! lol...

  • I THINK YOU ARE JOLLY LUCKY TO HAVE A WONDERFUL KIND AND CAPABLE MAN TO LOOK AFTER YOU sorry about the caps lock but really i thonk you should have some sypathy for him and his knees - my husband is the same if i complain of apain in my shoulder but he too is a wonderful person who does everything for me - so my dear just put it down to beibg a man and be thankful for it

  • Would you rather have a husband who complains he has more pain than you and still does all those chores or would you want one who lies around complaining about his pain and not doing chores. Be grateful and when he says I have more pain than you, say, "I know honey, I hope it feels better soon." Then hand him a dish rag.

  • I doubt if your husband sees this as a competition. Perhaps it is a sharing thing. I am glad you two have each other to love. Together you can make.

  • His way of showing care and concern is by doing for you. He probably is not good at saying caring and concerning things. We are all different how we show love.

  • It is NOT a gender thing. My wife does the same thing. I've tried talking about it to no avaiil. She is a third time cancer patient who I know has related pains. I just grin and bear it and don't let it adversely effect our 48 year marriage.

  • I'm sure it's frustrating for you but even though we have pd others too have pain.. We have to have sympathy for others also.. Pain is pain no matter what form. Have to go through life together and be there for each other, not trying to preach..

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