What About Me?

[jupiterjane]

Is it so easy for you

to tell me how to feel?

To take my pain

tw

ist

ing it

until it matches

what you would

like it to be,

what you think

you understand.

You want me

to manage

my pain.

Hell,

all I want

to do is

sleep through

the night.

Trying to

imagine my pain,

what I go through

every minute of

everyday,

is just

not possible.

There is no end

to the screaming

in my mind,

in my body,

and when the

shadows visit,

circling me,

I beg them

to take me.

Nothing scares me

anymore,

not even death.

It will be

the only thing

that frees me

from a body

I can no longer

control.

In the morning

when my eyes open,

I look beside me

to the man

that loves me,

it stirs in me

an anger to

fight just one

more day

to feel safe

in his arms,

his love

giving me

the rebellious

attitude

I need to survive.

Jupiterjane

[shasha]

God jj that is so very moving but when you speak of pain - is it actual pain or the pain of the general suffering

[shasha]

soory i have just read your intro - i am just so sorry to hear your pain - it makes me realize that my pain is bearable

[Parkinson_Schmarkinson]

i hear you JJ

[Court]

You never disappoint. This makes hard reading. It seems unbelievable that no one can help you with pain management.

I can't imagine how it feels to be in constant pain. The only thing I can offer are my prayers. Try to stay strong and keep wriging.

Sue

[PatV]

It really hit me yesterday. I can live with the PD but the chronic pain wears me to a nub and absorbs me. But what hit me is--my kids are in chronic pain. Since I was a young mom (I had 4 by age 24), my kids are aging with me. What if they have PD? Have I given them the resilience and courage? Do I have it? Thanks, JJ