Newly diagnosed : As above 2 days ago. I’m seeing... - My Ovacome

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Newly diagnosed

TeenyT profile image
18 Replies

As above 2 days ago. I’m seeing a gynea Dr and the oncology nurses Monday. I’m 46. I feel numb. I can handle what’s coming but I’m so upset about my son, I’ve not told him yet going to wait until I know Monday what’s happening next. My son is 19 and has Autism, it’s just the 2 of us no family and he’s still pretty dependent on me. I’m usually a really positive person but struggling with this right now. Thinking back I’ve had symptoms for a few years, just put it down to perimenopause, fibromyalgia and arthritis.

I’d really appreciate any advice or suggestions, feel so alone and lost.

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TeenyT profile image
TeenyT
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18 Replies
Leo2327 profile image
Leo2327

I am so sorry you are feeling this way it is alot to process at the beginning and I think its best you do not tell your son until you know what's happening all I can say is you will be well looked after and keep messaging on here because we have some lovely ladies on here who give good advice when you are feeling all alone I have found it realy helps and the side effects from treatment is much better the nurses are lovely and are always there to listen hope I have helped in some way sending love to you both ❤️

TeenyT profile image
TeenyT in reply toLeo2327

💜 thank you for your words of encouragement

Pixiepurple profile image
Pixiepurple

Hi Teeny,So sorry to hear your at the start of this crap journey. I was diagnosed last June. Stage 4, & I have 3 kids. In the beginning all I kept thinking about were my kids thinking I had no future with them. I have been through 2 surgeries & 6 rounds of chemo & started Avastin last week. Don't get me wrong there are crap days but way more good days. Now I can see hope.

You will get through this. And I must say this group are amazing.

Best wishes,

TeenyT profile image
TeenyT in reply toPixiepurple

💜 thanks it’s good to hear positive news, there is hope

Alfiepop profile image
Alfiepop

Hello TeenyT

I’m so sorry that you find yourself in this place of loneliness and numbness. It’s important that as well as supporting your son you get some support too.

You mention you have no family but maybe you have someone else you can share your feelings with, it could be a friend or someone from the Macmillan support team or from Ovacome. I’ve used both of these support systems and each time have felt a lessening of the weight of coping with my fears and grief about my situation.

It’s impossible to stay positive all the time, it’s ok and realistic to have some times of negativity too.

It can be difficult to take in and remember details during appointments. It might be an idea to ask if the Consultant/nurse would mind you recording the consultation for your reference. Mine were absolutely fine about it.

Thinking of you and sending very best wishes

Lisa

TeenyT profile image
TeenyT in reply toAlfiepop

💜 thanks Lisa, everything you said resonates. I think being an independent single mother it’s hard to ask for or accept help. A few friends have offered to go with me Monday but I’d rather face the news alone if that makes sense.

Casamimosa profile image
Casamimosa in reply toTeenyT

So sorry your facing this. Understand about facing appt alone however maybe a friend could be there wait for you. You may need someone after seeing consultant just to hold your hand and just be there. There are many emotions you gi through at all the different points on this journey. Contact Maggies if there's one near you they may be able to advise about how to help your son cope. Sending you lovecpositive thoughts. My journeys been going on 4 years and hopefully many more now. so there is hope. Take care x

TeenyT profile image
TeenyT in reply toCasamimosa

Thank you for the hope. I just feel so numb, I will contact Maggie’s as I’m really worried about him xx

DianaPrince_ profile image
DianaPrince_

You aren't alone.

Not matter what your diagnosis, treatment, or how you're feeling, many (if not all) of us have walked this path before you.

So we're all dotted along the journey ahead of you.

With tips, guidance, a shoulder to cry on or a joke to share.

So there will always be someone to point you in the right direction no matter how dark the road seems.

There will always be someone who has got through the darkest tunnel and knows there is light at the end.

You can do this.

I know you can because like all the women on here, I have been on the journey you are just starting.

And you do it by taking one step at at time.

Never looking too far ahead.

And calling out to the women ahead of you to help raise you up when you need it

You aren't alone.

R x

NewtonEmma1900 profile image
NewtonEmma1900 in reply toDianaPrince_

Very well said!

TeenyT profile image
TeenyT in reply toDianaPrince_

Thank you and thank goodness for this group💜. So many strong women and so many stories of hope. I am really grateful for everyone’s support. X

OrdinarySoul profile image
OrdinarySoul

I’m so sorry. This bloody disease. I was diagnosed in 2022, stage 3 endometrial that had spread to my ovary. I’m a single mum too to two girls (13 and 11) and I know that my kids were always the top of my list of worries through my treatment and everything. I went to all my appointments on my own, I think I needed time to process everything for myself before telling anyone else. I had a notebook that I wrote everything down in and sometimes the nurses would write notes while I listened because I used to come out of some appointments and not even remember what had been said. This site is so friendly, warm and helpful. And I have found my clinical nurse specialist really easy to contact and she’s been great. I just wish no one had to go through this. Feel free to DM if you want to. Oh, I’m 45, forgot to say! x

Lizchips profile image
Lizchips

Don't panic you don't really know if anything is bad. I can tell you this. I was diagnosed in April of 2014 with stage 3 ovarian cancer, clear cell is my kind. I went through IV chemo, and IP chemo(stomach wash of chemo) 18 rounds in 14 weeks. I have had no reoccurring disease. I am on no type of replacement hormones and no chemo drugs. So it's not the end of the road. You'll fight your fight if necessary, and pray for a great outcome. You'll be ok and your son will too. Prayers Liz

Newbery3 profile image
Newbery3

You are not alone 🥰❤️‍🩹we are all here and we have all felt like you do at some point! I wish I could give you a big cwtch. Anyway read my bio and all the positives ones, my middle daughter has asd and adhd but she's 27 now but her dad passed when she was 2yrs old. Wait to get all the tests results and then a plan and you will get this sorted! X

Tulips66 profile image
Tulips66

Hi, I really feel for you & can totally remember the numbness you are feeling at the moment. Its like this can't be happening to me & my son. I was diagnosed back in Jan 2019 & my daughter's were 16 & 19 yrs at the time. The hardest thing I have ever had to do was tell them this terrible news & it broke my heart. The difference is they don't have autism & I am married so I did have support so it was probably half the battle . From the very beginning my Gynaecologist involved my girls as much as possible. When I went back to him to get the results of the biopsy , CT scan & MRI he told me to bring the girls with us , that both he & the CNS nurse would explain as much as possible in an age appropriate way what was ahead of us . Maybe this is something you could ask your nurse about as I definitely think it really helped them & made it less scary for them. There are also lots of age appropriate books out there that will help you explain things to your son . For yourself I think you should reach out to your friends, your son's friends parents ,neighbours,work colleagues for support as you will find what's ahead very hard to do on your own. You will be very surprised by how many people will be willing to rally around you & help as much as possible. Get in touch with Macmillan or Ovacome too as I am sure they will be able to tell you if there are any cancer support groups in your area or talk to a Counsellor. You will also get plenty of advice & help whenever you need it from all the members here on Ovacome & even though we are all different, we are, or have, gone through what you are going through now . I came across this at the beginning of my journey & it helps me whenever I feel down, so I hope it gives you the strength you will need ."SOMETIMES the strength within isn't a big fiery flame for all to see"

"SOMETIMES it's just a tiny spark that whispers ever so softly"

KEEP GOING, YOU HAVE GOT THIS .!!!!!

Leniko profile image
Leniko

take it one day at a time. There are many of us who are long term survivors. Treatment options are vast. I’ve been living w OVCA for 16 years. 🙏👍🏻❤️👏🏼

Leniko profile image
Leniko

also, ask about Support Groups. They can be helpful.

SopSinger profile image
SopSinger

This in-between stage is really tough, waiting for test results and not knowing for sure. Believe it or not, if you do get a confirmed cancer diagnosis, it will be easier. You'll probably feel that you've lost control of your life, as you have to juggle various appointments at various places (and there will inevitably be clashes from time to time), but you will have no choice but to take each day as it comes. We've all been there, and it's scary, but you're not alone and you can do this. Sending hugs!

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