Lost fertility

[Mrs_Thomas]

hi ladies,

I had my debulking last year at 34, I was trying for a baby and found my cancer accidentally, 3c lgs. At the time I couldn’t have fertility saving treatment and I didn’t care I just wanted to live. Now I’m recovered I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact I have lost my fertility. All of my friends are either having children or already had kids and I feel like I am the only one who has failed. Doesn’t anyone else have feelings like this, I just feel so sad I won’t ever get pregnant or be a maternal mum.

I’m considering adoption but it’s so daunting and I might get rejected becasue I had cancer. Has anyone else adopted?

I can’t speak to anyone as I don’t know anyone who’s been in this situation before me.

Thanks x

[0462County]

Hello Mrs Thomas

My daughter was adopted 9 years ago. However, I was only diagnosed with ovarian cancer last year.

Contact your local authority adoption team and adoption agencies e.g. CORAM. They will be able to advise you.

Please let me know how you get on.

Love and hugs.

Beth xx

[Mrs_Thomas in reply to 0462County]

thank Beth,

How did you find the adoption process?

It’s really difficult becasue I don’t know anyone who has either adopted or been adopted.

Thank you for your reply I really appreciate it x

[Kjpip]

Hi Mrs Thomas, I'm afraid I can't really help but just wanted to send you a virtual hug 🤗 As Beth says, I would ring some adoption agencies and tell them your situation, they must have come across similar situations before and will be able to advise you.You could also ring the Ovacome or Macmillan helplines, they might be able to advise and/or recommend some counselling to help you xx

[Jen85]

Hi

It’s so difficult isn’t it. I remember having a rollercoaster of emotions more times than I can remember. I was 27 when I had my diagnosis. The sense of loss is palpable. When we were looking at options after surgery I was certain I wanted a baby. But the more research I did I realised what I actually wanted was to raise a child. Yes the experience of pregnancy, and of a biological child, but that’s 9months compared to a lifetime of dedication to a child.

Your journey is yours, don’t compare or think of the journey of others. Maybe you are destined to give a child the life they truly deserve, not the life they were born into. Not everyone is capable of that, maybe you are, and maybe you and that child will together achieve greatness x

[OvacomeSupport Partner My Ovacome Team]

Hello Mrs_Thomas

Thank you for your post. I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling with the loss of your fertility. As Kjpip mentioned, we are here to support you. I wanted to let you know about two webinars we have on our website, from Fertility Network UK: ovacome.org.uk/fertility-an... One is on fertility options and the other is on adoption. Fertility Network UK have a lot of information and support on their website too: fertilitynetworkuk.org/

Our resources for younger people are available on our website here: ovacome.org.uk/younger-people This includes our Younger Woman's Guide which has fertility information and details of other useful organisations.

There are also details of our Under 45s group on the same webpage, if you would find it helpful to talk with others who were diagnosed with ovarian cancer at a young age. The group meets online on the first Wednesday of the month, 5pm-6.30pm.

You can also always contact our supportline on 0800 008 7054 Monday-Friday 10am-5pm, email [e-mail] or direct message us through this forum.

I hope this is useful. If there is anything at all we can help with, please don't hesitate to get in touch.

Best wishes

Anna

Ovacome Support

[Mrs_Thomas in reply to OvacomeSupport]

hi Anna

Thank you for sending me this information, I have signed up to the support group I think in this will really help. X