My mam

Hello everyone. I hope you all had as good a Christmas Day as possible.

I've posted here several times about my lovely mam and always got such support. I'm sad to say that she died on November 21st.

I last posted in August when Mam stopped chemo. She was very upset for a week after that news, but then she rallied and for all of September she was really good, independent, doing her own shopping, getting her hair cut, going to mass, all her normal things. It was wonderful. She started to become more and more tired after that, and her ascites started to build up. She was admitted to hospital in the last days of October, and after a battle with delays and problems, she had a pigtail drain put in, which eased the pressure, but the scans showed that her cancer had taken over. She didn't get to come home again, but was looked after tremendously well in hospital, and with such kindness. We got to spend lots of time with her, and she died peacefully at 4am, as she'd have wanted i think, no fuss, just get on with it.

Mam went through a lot, and picked herself up and continued with great spirit and dignity after every set back, for almost three years. We were and are so proud of her, and we had so many blessings amongst all the difficulties. I still can't really get my head around the fact that she is gone, that this has happened. She was a most amazing person, my mother and my friend.

With thanks for all your support, this is a forum that makes many people feel less alone and helps give people the strength to keep trying . My prayers and good wishes to you all for this holiday season and 2016.

Mary x

17 Replies

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  • Dearest, I remember every time you were at my side, always with a good word and optimism. I'm so sad to hear about this and I can't imagine the pain you're feeling right now.

    I just want to thank you for all you did for me and offer you my prayers and condolences.

    With love.

  • Bless you,feeling your sorrow.

    Sending condolences to you and your family.Hope you take some comfort in the strength and fortitude your Mum displayed and that now she is at peace and without pain, and somewhere looking down on all of you.

    Much love Jackie O

  • Dear Mary

    So sorry for the loss of your Mam. Thinking of you and sending hugs,

    Ruby xx

  • I'm so sorry to hear that. She sounds like a wonderful person and I'm sure from what you say that she gained strength from your support. I would be proud to have such a loving daughter. (I should say I am proud as mine are too!)

    Lesley x

  • So sorry to hear this. Such a brave lady. God bless x

  • Such sad news that you mam got her Teal wings. I will remember you all in my prayers.

  • My heart goes out to you upon hearing the sad news of the passing of your beloved mum...just remember the happy times you shared... She would be so proud of you being there for her when she needed you the most.

    Luanna xx

  • Hi Mary yes Xmas Day must have been difficult but you have a lot of memories to cherish. Your Mum fought this with courage and couldnt have done it without support from you and family, remember that. I wish you well for 2016 and keep in touch with us anytime you feel like posting.

  • So sorry for your loss. Hard to accept, i know. But now in a better place than she was. Xxx

  • So sorry to read that you Mum had died. I send my thoughts to you especially at this time of year. Try to remember all those good times,

    as you enter into 2016

    I have found this forum very helpful and have aleays appreciated the support.

    Kind regards Dee

  • So sorry to hear about your Mam. Wishing you peace and the happiness that fond memories of a loving and much loved mother will bring bring you in the months and years ahead. x

  • So sorry to hear of your terrible loss. I didn't know you mam but, she sounds such dignified, special lady. This horrible disease doesn't distinguish or care who it picks to go to war with. Love to you take care of yourself. Carol xx

  • Dear Mary,

    So very sorry to hear about the loss of your Mam. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this awful loss. Sandy.

  • Thank you all for your kind words. My mam wasn't an internet user so never came on here herself, but many times your collective kindness buoyed me up and kept me able to reassure her, and more specific information on all your experiences helped us know what to expect from different treatments, or how to manage side effects. I'm tremendously glad to have found this forum. It helped keep me strong and i think that helped her. We managed to laugh a lot, even in hospital waiting rooms. As a family we had and still have, a lot of blessings.

    I wish you all health and strength and peace of mind, and the same for your loved ones.

    Mary x

  • So sorry for your loss sending lots of love X

  • Mary so sorry to hear the sad news your mam had passed away but you will carry your fond memories in your heart always and she will always be with you .

    Although I wish I had never gotten this illness it as brought me even closer to my daughter in fact all my children and grandchildren

    I think in this hectic life we all lead nowadays we lose sight of what is important this illness makes you realise it's not houses cars or holidays it's family and friends that are important

    Your mam would be so proud of you, take care xx

  • Thanks for posting this - very sad to read - but your mum's a real inspiration to me - thank you

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