i have been diagnosed with stage 3c ovarian cancer i have had surgey and just finished my chemo,my consultant said the cancer will come back

[kaza1]

but he dosent know when, does anyone know of anyone who has lived for a few years with this diagnosis as im finding it hard to think ahead have i got months years do people ever survive this.

[Hidden]

hi Kaza, there are lots of people on here who have survived for many years and have had a few recurrences.

No one especially a Dr will ever speculate on how long you will go without OC rearing its ugly head again, you may be one of the lucky ones and go many years there is no way of knowing

Just enjoy your time without treatment,

Chris x

[Hidden]

Hi Kaza,

It can be a very difficult time of reflection and worry when chemotherapy finishes and you are left with the reality of living with this disease .

We all find our own way of coping often dependant on family circumstances etc.

I went on holiday 4 weeks after chemo and found the total escape and change really helped.

As Chris has said no one can predict when/if you will have a recurrence .There are many wonderful people on this site living very full lives.

Best wishes

Anne x

[Whippit]

Hi Kaz

I had the same diagnosis in February 2011 and I'm still here. I'm not thinking of kicking the bucket for a long time yet and to be honest I can say I've had a great couple of years.

I'm just about thinking of having a second lot of chemo. I look at it as a bit of a nuisance but it's giving me my life back so it's worth having.

You're bound to have some pretty dark thoughts right now but hopefully there'll be loads of comments here to cheer you and surround you with friendship.

Sending you loads of love and healing hugs. xxx Annie

[Izzystep]

I agree with to replies you have had. I finished chemo on Feb 2013 and mine had never completely gone, I had 3 "deposits" left behind after surgery in the lymph nodes. CA125 blood tests show there may be growth, waiting results of scan, getting them tomorrow. There is no definite time of when and even if the cancer will return. Just enjoy life. If you feel well that is the most important thing. As long as the oncologist can treat it. Stop fretting, stop worrying, take every day as it comes. Look forward to a long and happy life. xxx

.

[Bougheycat]

I was diagnosed last year with stage 3c on 5/4/12 at the age of 48. I went from thinking after chemo I would be cured to knowing the truth by the people dealing with me drip feeding me info as I could cope! I then was lucky to get Avastin and again thought this was a miracle cure, no I gradually found out it just helped with delaying reoccurrence! No one would give me a time line which I found very frustrating, so I tried a different tack and asked would I be able to collect my pension (now 65) and got from different people probably not but nothing is certain! This is a shock but helps me cope and sort of plan, I am fit and healthy, and clear at the moment so with a bit of positive mental attitude I want to prove every one wrong! This I think the only way to cope and move forward for me! Hope this is some help! I went to festival in the park the other Sunday with my husband and 10 year old son. We had a fab time and wonderful memories!

[JAWilson]

Diagnosed spring 2009 with 3C and still here!!

I know it is difficult in the early days but try to not to concentrate on the what-ifs but on doing what you want to do and doing things you enjoy. In the last 4+ years I have welcomed 2 grandchildren into my life as well as doing many other things I could never have envisaged. Make some plans and enjoy.

Hugs

Janice

[Hidden]

Hi I agree with everyone, not one of us is the same this disease has no comparisons, except for the different chemo treatments which we can all take a lot of information from. It has an unknow life span, very difficult I know but you have to try not to think aboutthat too deeply as this will bring you down easier said than done. But one way is try and live your life enjoy, all the things you can, and dont dwell on 'if only' It takes too much time and you will never get an answer.

You will notice from this site that we are all here for each other, any advice and some one has it.

I know that my life has taken some unexpected turns, things that have happened would not have. So there have been some upsides to this disease. I thought I would never say that, so there you go.

Regards Barbara.

[kaza1]

thank you so much for all your messages this was the first time on the ovacome web site and i have found your replies very helpful in moving forward x

[thehusband]

My wife was diagnosed 3c in Oct 2010 and what we found as time went by is that there is no 'normal'..... someone who didnt expect a re-occurance for years might have it in months, some that thought it would be in months - it ended up being in years. Others it has been years and still nothing has returned.

After my wifes op in Dec 2010 when we found out that there were still some residue of disease the gynae-surgeon couldnt remove, he told us pretty much what you were told.

All i can say is enjoy every day because in this life we have no idea what tomorrow may bring - with or without cancer. I think a diagnosis of cancer or indeed any serious illness really does give opportunities to focus on living for the day - i hope that for you there will be thousands of 'days'. Take good care.

[kaza1 in reply to thehusband]

thank you "the husband" very well put and i will hang on to that "thousand of days" definitelty has given me hope for the future.hope your wife is doing well too.

[Zannah]

Welcome to the site, which I personally have found both informative and helpful. I was diagnosed with Stage 3c in January 2012 and told I had 2 years. I feel great at present and renewed my railcard a couple of days ago with a three year card (it's cheaper than three one year ones). Doctors can't predict with any accuracy and these arbitrary predictions are based on statistics. We are people not statistics and has already been said nobody is able to predict which one is going to have a recurrence and when. Enjoy life and do the things that matter to you. Life is for living to the best of our ability.

Wishing you well.

Love

Zannah x

[citrine]

I was diagnosed with what was described as "at least stage 3c" just over two years ago and after chemo + surgery was told that there was no sign of any cancer. I was aware of what the statistics for recurrence were but when I asked my consultant, he advised me to forget about them and live my life on the basis that the cancer wasn't coming back. Obviously he couldn't promise me that it wouldn't but his words have helped me to live in the here and now and not to waste whatever time I have worrying about a future over which I have no control.

So far there has been no sign of a recurrence but I no longer fear that as much as I did after hearing the stories of other ladies who have coped with it. I got married to my long term partner three days before starting chemo and last week we celebrated our second anniversary. On Friday 13th!! (We hadn't taken that into account two years ago because we didn't know if we'd even make it to the first anniversary.)

If you've just finished chemo you will be tired so do put your feet up when you need to. Plan little treats and big treats for yourself. And don't save your clothes "for best"

Sending you lots of love and hugs. let us know how you get on

Mary xxx

[kaza1 in reply to citrine]

thank you mary lovely mesage x

[VickyEm]

Hi Kaza

This is a totally natural response. I remember when I was first diagnosed with stage 3b, at age 29, I did not think I would be alive to see my 30th birthday. But that was 14 years ago and whilst I am not cured, having had a few recurrences and now some residual disease, I am still fit and well (mine is a low grade cancer).

This uncertainty about my longevity has caused me to be very depressed from time to time, but the other side of that is that the special moments, such as my 40th birthday, 3 years ago, are all the more special.

Also, it does not always come back, we have a lady who sometimes posts on here who was diagnosed with stage 4 in 1999 and she has never had any recurrence.

A quote that is often used on this site is to expect the best, but prepare for the worst. You do not know if or when it will recur, so live for today and don't worry too much about the future.

Vx

[kaza1 in reply to VickyEm]

wow that is how i am feeling will i be alive to see the next birthday so it sounds like this is how you and maybe others have felt but your news is encouraging and the lady who had stage 4 also makes me think i hvae to keep positive x

[Orsolini]

Hi - what a great load of uplifting replies, all of which I agree with. I had 4 years in remission without recurrence. I was told to look at it as a chronic disease that can be lived with as long as it is under control. - Nicola x

[Jorja]

Hi, I have just gone into my 6th year living with this disease, my husband and I have been on 2 cruises and planning 1 for next year all going well, you can't live your life thinking what if! enjoy all you can get out of life with your family and friends, I wish you well. Jorja x

[Hidden]

Hi there .. And welcome. It really depends on the type, the staging and the grade. As my surgeon said last week, even if he had a crystal ball, he couldn't read it. Some people are 1c say. The disease is at its beginning stage. Many people in this category never succumb to it all. Some people are at a much later stage but respond incredibly well to surgery and drugs with long intervals between treatments. Others have a merry-go-round with a much closer and intimate relationship with the hospital car park. It does come back for those whose disease is in the abdomen for the most part but it doesn't mean people can't be treated when it does. Whilst I've got it more than its got me, I try to focus on the things I love to do. I went to London this year, saw The Jersey Boys, The Lion King and Once. I visited The Ice bar off Regent Street and the lounge at the top of The NatWest building so I could see London at every which way angle. My hubbie pushed me everywhere .. St James' Park .. The Changing of the Guard .. he lost half a stone pushing my wheelchair but we had fun! He pushed me through Covent Garden after a show so we could see the dress code for The Royal Opera House. We've booked to see The Marriage of Figaro next May. Hubbie doesn't like opera particularly but he'll love the spectacle of it all. I'm dressing up. This disease gets in the way like a wasp at a picnic but apart from acute episodes and with pain relief, I mostly think its get-throughable. That's now by the way. I may change my mind like the wind tomorrow. That's allowed as there aren't emotion police thank the Lordie Lord. Love Tina x x

[kaza1 in reply to Hidden]

you sound very brave tina an inspiration

[Hidden in reply to kaza1]

Hi Kaza .. The level of my resolve changes .. But I think that's allowed. Many times, feeling angry, vulnerable and just sheer bloody-minded has been the route to a better understanding of who I am, who I'm becoming, and my place in the family and the world. Everyone's different aren't they and the good news is that we're allowed to be without feeling failures. There are many emotions which lead to positivity and some of them are ones that hurt looked at full in the face. I loved this summer. It wasn't where I went, it was more that I decided to do some action and tried to remove barriers to it all. I could well have transferred those experiences to being pushed to the pet shop to get nuts to feed the squirrels or going to the park to feed the ducks or to people watch. I'm at my best amongst other people .. Just observing is where it's at for me sometimes .. Take care Kaza x x

[Dyana]

Tina , what an inspiring post , with some great spending money ideas. I echo your views entirely . My new hobby is seeing how many experiences I can pack in between appointments as if and when I can do this no more I will have some fab memories ! Suggest you go up the shard , that was fun! We are going to go again at night . My moto is that we don't really know what the future holds and often things just don't go as we anticipate so I try to live in the moment... Easier some days than others ! Hello kaza?....dyxx

[Hidden in reply to Dyana]

Hey .. I've now put the Shard at night on my list followed by Ronnie Scott's late show x x

[fionai]

Hi

I was diagnosed stage 3C, feb 2011.

I am still here despite having only one kidney and other major stuff.

I have developed a sod it attitude, and have never been happier. After 20 years of marriage, I still love my husband as much as the first time I fell in love with him. Cancer has opened my eyes to life, it has made me stronger. Yes, there are days when I get the Hebie gebies, but I think you could get run over by a bus tomorrow.

None if us know when we will die, I have had the chance to plan the celebration of my life., not everyone can do that.

Anyway, I just want to send you a virtual hug and say you are not alone. Take care Fiona.

[kaza1 in reply to fionai]

thank you fiona x

[fionai in reply to kaza1]

Hey Kaza,

Can you do something for you today, maybe get your nails painted? Can you think of one small thing that makes you feel really girlie. This bloody disease can take that away, but hey, it cannot away take our love of all things pink!

On a serious note, if it gets really shitty, I try to pick one thing out that before I had cancer I would have not done. Even if it is a bath in lots of bubbles with candles and a good book. After that give yourself a big hug from us. Fiona.x

[Jane]

Never let a doctor hex you! They are just our equivalent of voodoo, and our poor minds tell our bodies these things then they become true. The psychology of disease is a very important factor. Doctor's don't know, they like certainty so that's how they often tell it. I was diagnosed 3c in April 2010, it's been one hell of a ride but I'm never giving up hope for a long future. Wishing you all the luck.

Jane x

[fionai in reply to Jane]

Hi Jane

How right you are, my story is almost the same as you. Love the voodoo expression. Fiona.

[sheilanov1]

I was diagnosed with 3c ealier this year and have refused debulking op but have had 5 chemos I am 74 and think that ,lke Jane, that we should tell our body to heal itself ,leave it to do that and then appeciate life every day for what it is.

[Katmal-UK]

hi Kaza

I was diagnosed 3a in 2007 and told the same. unfortunately it did return but Im now on my third lot of chemo (half way thru in fact) and just been told its gone again. so whilst the chemo is hard and an inconvenience ppl do survive. I'll be back at work full time by mid December. there is life after diagnosis and Im prob one of the least optimistic ppl u'll ever encounter! most days I don't even give it a thought, look forward.... ive enjoyed several holidays to the states since being diagnosed, seen grandchildren born and said goodbye to a much loved parent a couple of months ago. There is always hope while you are breathing and I wake each morning and thank god for another day. I read somewhere that from the day we are born we are all 'terminal' and that stayed with me. Those of us with this disease are forced to face our immortality but the best advice I can give is not to dwell on the illness but live life, or you'll just spend your time worrying about what you cant change. People do live with this, Im proof xx

i wish you all the best, god bless. xx

[SandyL]

Hello Kaza,

I'm so sorry to hear that your Doctor made such a thoughtless statement. When a woman is diagnosed with Ovarian cancer, she needs to hang onto every shred of hope she can find. When first diagnosed, you are in a state of shock - so to be 'told' that the cancer will come back before you've got rid of it in the first place, would have made me very depressed. It's like getting knocked down with a club before you've had a chance to fight back! I'm so thankful that my Gyn/Onc was more thoughtful - because she made me feel hopeful - not by words but by her mannerisms when she talked to me.

I was diagnosed with Stage 1V Ovarian Cancer in April 1999. Next month I will (hopefully) be celebrating 14 years in remission. I'm passing this along to give you HOPE because that's your most important weapon when fighting any kind of cancer. The chances of beating this disease will increase greatly, if you BELIEVE you can.

In my mind I'll always be fighting this disease, even though I'm in remission. I live in preventative mode by following a special diet (no bad fats or sugar) and walking daily. When I go to bed at night and close my eyes, I think of what I'm going to do the next day because every day is a gift.

Don't stop HOPING because that's your special weapon in the fight.

Sandy.

[kaz14 in reply to SandyL]

Hi Sandy,

What a lovely positive post, I like Kaza was diagnosed Stage3c in Dec 2012, had a very doom and gloom prognosis by my consultant, however since being on this site and hearing stories like yours Sandy, I feel much more positive. Best of luck to you and to you too Kaza,

Love Kaz xx

[kaza1 in reply to SandyL]

you know ive been thinking the biggest battle is with your mind but sometimes i think am i giving myself false hope but reading your post it makes me think miracles do happen so pleased for you sandy

[fionai in reply to SandyL]

Gosh, your story is just what we need, thank you for sharing it. Take care, Fiona.

[Hidden in reply to SandyL]

Hi to everyone posting on this blog, it is the most uplifting blog I've read on here for a long time. Love the fighting spirit, keep it going. Gill xxx

[tntknc]

hello kaza,as you see from all these posts, we have have been given the same news. it is very hard to wrap your brain around the recurrance issue and the idea of it comming back is to say the least scary, you have to work at blocking that out and live each for each day. i too was diagnosed at 3c in january 2013, finished my chemo bacj in june and my current ca125 is a 10. i am learning to eat differently, more healthy and boost my system. i read about a doctor that did her own study on cancer cells and oxygen levels and when she withdrew the oxygen from the cells they when crazy multiplying and when she returned the oxygen to the cells is made the cancerous cells die off because they can not live in a healthy oxygenated environment. so changing how you eat and getting exercise daily i believe is critical for keeping the recurrance away for as long as possible. my aunt met a lady the is a 20 year survivor of ovarian cancer so that is what i am aiming for ! Keep strong and this is such a positive site to be on! So many wonderful ladies here to provide support and caring thoughts!

[AnnieMae]

I too was dx with 3c and whilst it is extremely scary at first you have to believe you can be one of the long term survivors. I have a fantastic husband, 2 wonderful daughters, 6 amazing grandchildren along with a lovely mother and sister etc. etc. So many people to live for but more importantly so much I want to do myself. Think positive. I think of a friend who died from a massive heart attack, she died instantly. I bet she would prefer to be in my shoes and still here living her life. This site is amazing, it's helped me so much and I'm thankful I found it, I know you will be too.

Best wishes

Annette x

[kaza1]

thank you for your uplifting messages i think i have been really uplifted x

[SandyL]

I'm so happy to have lifted your outlook Kaza.

About 14 years ago, not long after I was diagnosed with Stage 1V Ovca, I joined a group similar to this one and it was my life line. One day I was very excited because I'd just reached my one year in remission milestone so I posted my news to the ladies in the group. Most of them shared my excitement and sent their congratulations, but one wrote to me privately saying she was glad to hear my good news, about being in remission for a year, but I shouldn't lift up my hopes too much because it wasn't a case of "IF" I'd reoccur but "WHEN". Her words sent a chill up my spine, but I was uplifted when another group member wrote to me 'privately' and said (paraphrased), "Don't worry about her. There are many women who have super-long remissions and some that never reoccur. You could well be one of those people."

Words can have a devastating effect on any person or patient. Try to understand the other person's point of view. The lady who said those depressing words to me, had her reasons for saying what she did. She had suffered many recurrences and was running out of options - so her words to me were coloured by her personal experiences. She wasn't being nasty to me, she was trying to make me see her point of view. Sadly, she died a couple of months later.

The mind, as others have said is a powerful weapon. I suppose we have to learn to use it to our benefit, right?

Take care ... Stay strong!

Sandy.

[Jane]

There is no such thing as 'false hope', there is only hope and like others have said it's a powerful tool. Even if our hopes don't always work out the way we wanted, there was nothing false going on, Jane x

[chrissy88]

Hi kaza. There is a post on the American site 'inspire' from a lady who was diagnosed like you and I with 3c. That was 26 yrs ago. She had one recurrence after 10 yrs. I like to keep thinking of her.

People often tell me to be positive which really winds me up. I prefer the words determined and hopeful. Sending love and these thoughts. Chrissy xxxxx

[TealSista]

Very encouraging posts. And a special thank you to SandyL.

[SandyL]

I am humbled to think that my words can have an effect on "others" belief system. It's horrible to think that a consultant can deflate a person at a time when they are already feeling as low as it's possible to feel. Only someone who has had a dire prognosis can truly understand how this feels.

When I was diagnosed, the oncologist couldn't make eye contact with me - just kept looking away from me, or at the floor. When I said to him in my 'rosy-coloured-spectacled' way .... "I want it fixing. Do whatever you have to do to get rid of it!" He looked at me with a ... "are you kidding?" look and said (with a very serious face), ... Mrs L, we are not trying to save your life, we're trying to extend it. I didn't like for that man, his words had a horrible effect on me. Fortunately and luckily for me, the Gyn/Onc I was referred to was very nice. She was truthful and hopeful, but also realistic.

It's scary to think that those consultants (specialists in Canada) hold your life in their hands in more ways than one.

Sandy.