I'm just starting the second phase of IVF (I had eggs removed and fertilised before having my ovaries removed last summer) and I'm really scared in case it doesn't work. I've been told I have a chance to try but I can't wait (not that I want to but I'm also back at work and knackered from that). Somehow I just can't feel hopeful about the IVF working, although I long for it to! Apparently I'll get two tries then I've to have a CT scan and if the hormones are making my borderline cancer grow again then I've been told I'll have to consider surrogacy. Some days like today I can cope and just about do my job ok, and other days (like yesterday) I feel torn apart by utter despair and grief. I wondered if there is anyone else on the forum going through this. I don't feel up to joining IVF networks as I feel so different from other IVF patients because of my cancer and surgery. I just feel really alone with this.