Recurrence

So despite trying to kid myself all week that it would be ok the biopsies taken at the stretch last week have proved to be positive - we don't yet know what the scan has shown and the plan will be formulated once we know - tonight I will allow myself the luxury of howling my despair and pain out and tomorrow I will be strong again and deal with "it" whatever that may be - anything you can offer me to help in that fight would be so good to hear.

All my best to you all

Lyn x

12 Replies

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  • Hi Lyn,

    So sorry to hear such news. It seems we have to dig deep so many times when someone we loves has cancer and it can be absolutely devastating. I hope you both manage to find the strength to cope with whatever the next step is. My own Darling Man always said " we have today, nothing will happen today" and we would hold on to that thought as well as each other. Words seem so inadequate at times like this. All my very best wishes,

    Love

    Charlie

  • I do so empathise with bayou Lynn.

    To sit in the consultation room expecting and answer to problems relating to appetite and cancer as far away from from our thinking as is possible to find that the endoscopy was fine and then that the CT scan had shown 'peculiarities' with some lymph nodes (that I'd never heard of.

    My love and I spent the weekend refocussing our future (we were due top retire this summer!) and now we have a new set of priorities.

    We see each day as a blessing in its own right - nothing but nothing can take them away. We refuse to waste any of them

    Davie

  • Lyn all we can do is live for today.As you know I know what a terrible blow this is.Lets keep strong and positive as thats all we have.No giving up.Loads of hugs

    Griff x

  • No giving up Griff - not an option - come too far and been through too much - how goes it with your treatment ? -thank you Charlie and Davie for your kind words- each day a gift to be treasured xx

  • So sorry to hear your news. We had the news on Christmas eve that my husbands cancer was back ,he started chemo yesterday x

  • Lynn I'm so sorry this is the news we all dread. Those long minutes that seem like hours waiting for the devastating news. All the way through this ordeal I have learned to believe in miracles because Paolo definitely has been granted a few since this terrible disease took hold. I wish you the continued strength to help you and Nielsen get through this blow and with your love and support you can help him keep fighting. You are strong but it is necessary for us to allow ourselves time to cry and scream and vent if we need to. I will keep you both in my prayers.

    Caterina x

  • Hi Lyn

    It seems like most of the people who have answered your question are in thier own way going through a really tough time. So to you and Nielsen and to all on this page I wish you the strength and courage to cope with this awful time.

    Kind Regards

    Steve

  • Thank you all - what a truly wonderful group of people x

  • It is a big blow to get this news, and you both have all our sympathetic thoughts. There is a saying that we never get given a burden that is too great for us to bear, but that may not be much consolation at the moment.

    I always think it is worse second time around ie following treatment after the first diagnosis, but there will be some more specific information that will come from the next appointment once they have analysed the scans and so on, and it is usually helpful to work out the questions you need to ask in advance and to write them down. The doctors do not like these sessions any more than you do and it is easy to mishear what they are saying.

    The questions might include (if you do not already know) asking how closely the positive biopsies are situated in relation to the original surgery. Are they secondary, and spread from the original problem, or could they possibly be a new and perhaps different development or a different type of cancer? How effective might chemotherapy, if they offer it, be? I am not commenting on the likelihood of any of these things, but my guess is that you will need to understand what has happened as best you can, and you are certainly entitled to a period of anger, grief and coming to terms with the new situation.

    There have been some specific cases where a second round of oesophageal cancer has been successfully treated, but this unfortunately tends to be the exception rather than the rule, and it will all depend on the exact circumstances of each patient's case.

    People also say that they find wonderful support and help from friends and from unexpected places, and I am sure that this will be true for you too.

    With all best wishes

    Alan

  • Thank you Alan in truth I am so distraught I had not thought about what we would ask but rather what they would say. Your post has focused my mind and I need to give that careful thought , I shall also be asking about herceptin, thank you all for your kind words.

    Lyn x

  • Hi Lynn,

    I hope you have managed to "get your breath back" a little and those overwhelming feelings have been expressed and hopefully assumed more manageable proportions. It's a body blow to you both and I send you all my good vibes for strength. I hesitate to mention it but for you, Griff, Gaby and anyone in a similar position, if you feel like joining, Charlie's Circle it might be usefull. You just have to scroll up to the green menu bar, choose communities and then Charlie's Circle. You need to be a signed in member and the forum is aimed at those who have different needs to that of those recovering from surgery. Reoccurrence brings us a host of different concerns and questions, physical, emotional and practical. It's the loneliest place and this may be a way to feel less alone. We all unfortunately know cancer is a powerful adversary and we walk a tough road.

    take care of you too,

    Charlie xx

  • Thank you Charlie - I had already thought to join - just want to get tomorrow over with xx

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