Just wondering

[Valerie01]

Hi all I'm sat hear just wondering what you all did when your partner had the operation about sleeping with them when they came home I can only imagine they are going to feal saw and very uncomfortable would it make it easier for my husband for me to take another room I think he would be be more comfortable if I wasn't at the side of him wriggling around he doesn't seem to be very happy with this suggestion so I would like your thoughts on this and how you go on thank you for reading this post

[Rsw1fe]

Well I was only too glad to have him back from hospital and I think he found it comforting to have me beside him in bed - obviously not all over him because the wounds were still tender for some time. Your husband may not be sleeping too well to begin with, and he will be glad not to be alone. Give it a try sleeping with him, but if you're not getting a decent night's sleep, give yourself a night in another room.

This is all quite intimate - but I will burble on anyway. Because my husband has to sleep on his back, raised to prevent reflux, real cuddles have to wait until the morning when his tummy is empty and he can lie down again. It's just one of those changes that have become the new normal.

Best wishes to both of you fo a good recovery.

[Shoad]

Hi Valerie

My husband had the Ivor Lewis op just over a year ago, when he came home from hospital he had some bad nights with coughing mainly as he was a heavy smoker pre op ( he gave up smoking day before op) and had chest infection after surgery, part of the surgery involves deflating the lung so it all contributed. I stayed with him and he was glad to have me there to be honest I wanted to be able to keep an eye on him. It takes a while for things to settle down but they do. Wishing your husband all the best with his op and you too.

Sacha

[Valerie01 in reply to Shoad]

Thank you looking at it from his point we have decided to sleep together we have bought a king size adjustable bed from face book selling page due to pick up on 7th march I myself just didn't want to add to his discomfort and he also has other problems he is disabled so the bed will give him comfort in his disability we had to get a second hand bed because we just couldn't afford a new one they are very expensive yes I would not have got much sleep in another room because I would have been up and down all night making sure that he is ok

[Sue125nd]

Hi, I had op. 2017. I had feeding tube fitted and found it all very scary when I first came home - in fact we both did! You are discharged from hospital where you were in High Dependency care and suddenly there you are with just the 2 of you alone! I had purchased reflux pillow to sleep and my husband initially just had normal pillows but eventually he got a reflux pillow too and finds it OK. As the patient you need someone there with you at night Everyone is different but I struggled with sleeping initially - suffering a sort of PTSD and going through everything from the start to finish, I have to add that prior to my diagnosis I did have a terrible year with family and friend deaths including my father. My husband was and is my rock and I couldn't have managed without him just being there for me at night. You may find that he is the one wriggling about - I was, and still cannot always cope, with turning over at night and the only was round it was to get out of bed and get back in!! My only other suggestion is that if you get him a reflux pillow then for a while have him place a small light pillow under his knees - it will help to stop him sliding down the bed. Hope he gets on well, it all takes time.

[Valerie01 in reply to Sue125nd]

Oh dear we have just got a adjustable bed so when he comes home he will have the option to put it as high or as low as he feels comfortable thanks for your advice

[Spikey]

I had my operation 12 years ago. When I first came out of hospital, I slept in the spare room, propped up and surrounded by pillows to stop me rolling onto my side. This only lasted for a couple of weeks, but it helped ensure that both my wife and I got a reasonable night's rest. Go with whatever works best for you and your husband and remember, whatever you decide, he will get better.

[Valerie01 in reply to Spikey]

I hope so its very scary just the thought of the operation

[kiddy]

Hi I would stay put in your bed together. It’s peace of mind someone is there. I needed my husband to help me get in and out of bed pass things to me. We would fall asleep holding hands. I needed v pillow and 3 others to sleep on my back.

Nice getting an electric bed,

Best wishes

Debbie

[grandylynda]

I was comforted by getting back to my own bed with hubby beside me. You get used to how to share the duvet when at different heights

[Janashlin]

After 3 months in hospital for my surgery and complications I was very glad to get back home and into our adjustable bed.

Cuddling is hard but reaching out and holding hands during those tough times at night has kept me sane. It gets better but it’s rough for the first year.

[Hon-Moonraker]

I'd say carry on as usual.